Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Give us this day our daily bread bowl

Yesterday, the KC Hot Beer Blog sat down to break a bread bowl in the Fat City. To be honest, I walked into the experience fearing one thing while leaving completely devastated by another.

My posts on this blog and any picture you might see of me provide enough for you to know that I do not live a healthy lifestyle. I'm under 30 and have gout. I know I need to make changes in my life and what I eat, but have never cared enough to put in a serious effort. I got married. I had a daughter. I ate roughly 10 foods on a stick in front of them less than a month ago. It was probably going to take a serious illness to make me change my ways until yesterday. Yesterday I saw death, and it was a Domino's Bread Bowl.

Don't let the heavenly aura fool you

This 3-cheese pasta bowl would be better labeled as a crime against humanity. If you have eaten a whole one of these and/or enjoyed it, you are the fattiest of fatties and have no taste buds or regard for your own life. The food scientists at Domino's should be criminally charged. I firmly believe they must be foreign because no American would have the level of desire to kill their own countrymen as the people who designed this.

It's pasta inside of bread. It's covered in nacho cheese and topped with two types of shredded cheese to give the baked macaroni & cheese look. With the nacho cheese, I wonder why they stopped at two carbs rather than three. Maybe a nice crumbling of tortilla chips to add some crunch. The chip shards could cut open the esophagus of the fatties eating it and kill them faster.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one there who didn't spit out all or a portion of the bread bowl. I was graced with the overwhelming urge to vomit for about a half an hour shortly after eating it. It effectively ruined my evening and possibly food in general for the rest of my life.

7 comments:

m.v. said...

Excellent

Matt P said...

How do you feel about the KFC famous bowls?

The DLC said...

I'm a little disappointed not to see comments from all the bread bowl super fans that visited the Fat City post a while back.

Erin said...

I just puked thinking about anyone eating that horrid mess of a meal.

I'm sure it's already made it onto This Is Why You're Fat

Chimpotle said...

The Famous Bowls actually came up while eating this. Having never experienced one, I would safely say they are the lesser of two evils. Some gravy may have also improved the pasta bowl.

Owen said...

I seriously think we may have to start a support group for survivors of this catastrophe.

GB, RN said...

I never thought anything good came out of Domino's pizza, but was a staple of any college student's diet. Then, you grew up, graduated college, and moved on to the next rung of the Pizza Delivery Food Chain. Never to eat Domino's again. Domino's is a rite of passage we all must go through, so of like puberty.

I haven't touched the crap since college. That was nasty! Stupid Noid.

Thank you for putting your stomach's in harm's way for the greater good of mankind. I'm also grateful that you didn't have to come see me on a professional level as a result. I think you were lucky.