Tuesday, January 13, 2009

No Luck in Potluck

I hate potluck lunches. My work team insists on having a potluck lunch every month for one reason or the other. Everyone on our floor knows about it and this prompts them to bring food as well. This is always the worst day of the month for me.

These lunches always, ALWAYS have 8 varieties of prepared salads; macaroni, jello, potato et. al. There is never NEVER anything fresh or simply prepared. Everything comes in the form of a casserole, otherwise known as the Greatest Generation's revenge. A quick test of the goodness of a casserole would be, when was the last time you ordered a casserole at a restaurant? Never! No one has! Yet that is what a potluck lunch or dinner will get you, a whole lotta 'role.

Also, the foods never go together. We will have macaroni salad, taco meat and couscous. I just gagged thinking about it. And what's worse, people will eat all the items together on their paper plate. I know I've eaten a pretzel bread Hotzi and an Angry Whopper (and liked it) but I wasn't eating food that didn't go together.

Have you ever been to a buffet where the food wasn't labeled? That's what a potluck lunch is. You have no idea what's in that casserole dish. If I were to ever scoop out some of that casserole and take a bite out of a black olive I would throw up. Immediately. On someone. That's not good eats. Why do we subject ourselves to this?

Plus, I have no idea what's going on in these people's kitchens. I know these people, I'm close to these people and I have no desire to have them touching my food before I eat it. I'm sure that it probably won't hurt me, after all a little bacteria is good for you. But, I damn sure am not going to take my chances on a cat owner's tuna salad.

I also don't want to spend $10 to bring some kind of food to one of these things and then have to eat the crap that is served. I'd much rather go out to lunch and spend my $10 on a nice lunch eating a well thought out, well prepared meal. These potluck things make no economic sense.

There is no luck in potluck. All you get is poorly presented food that is not very well prepared. This sucks, I'm going to lunch.


Gabriel said...

Every since I heard about Bob Berdella's cannibal casseroles that he brought to kanas city potlucks in the 80's, I've been afraid to eat unlabeled food made in other people's home kitchens.

Erin said...

I order casseroles. Mousaka and pastitsio.

Nuke said...

Last casserole I had was Fazzoli's baked spaghetti (It counts, its almost exactly the spaghetti casserole we had a skids).

I gotta admit tho, the luck is scarce at these things. The one or two good things are usually gone PDQ.

m.v. said...

For that reason even at the company xmas party I stick to (hopefully) purchased foods and try to eat as little as possible of other stuff. if I am eating roaches I like them to be cooked in regulated facility

Chimpotle said...

I don't shit like this!

Owen said...

That picture is just painful to look at. Potlucks, like surprise parties and orgies, are better in theory than in practice.

Aimee said...

We have potlucks at work but they are fairly well organized. We have three teams and one team is responsible for the food although other teams can participate if they want to. And we have themes. Like on St. Patrick's day we are having a "green food" day and anyone can bring anything they want as long as it is green - I am thinking we are going to have lots of guac. On Cinco de Mayo we are having a Mexican fiesta so all the food does go together. I guess you will just have to start organizing these things - or just bring beer and drink that and then you won't care :)