Perturbed Whopper

I've eaten at Burger King less than 10 times in my entire life. I think in those dining experiences I've had 1 Whopper. The last time I went to Burger King was to get the steakhouse burger, which wasn't good enough for me to ever go back for a second one. I remember not really liking the Whopper either but I was on a lunch break from a fantasy baseball auction draft and I was trying to come up with a plan to buy the Giambi brothers (incidentally this occurred the day after the famous Cowbell sketch was on SNL, amazing what one remembers).

So when I saw the commercials for the Angry Whopper while watching football last weekend I thought that that's a burger I can get behind, even if it's at Burger King. I finally got my chance to get one on my work from home day (since there is no fast food hamburgers in downtown). I drove over to the BK at 76th and Metcalf near the Bull E. Vard mansion to grab my burger.

As I pulled into my parking spot* I noticed a BK worker wandering around on the sidewalk probably grabbing a smoke. I also noticed a large box with a BK bag sitting next to it sitting in the handicapped parking place less than 5 feet away from that sidewalk. As I got out of the car the BK kid walked back inside leaving the trash in the parking lot. I thought to myself, this is what kind of establishment I'm entering, one where the employees don't care enough to keep clean. I was tempted to tell the manager about the employee's malfeasance. But I had bigger fish to fry.

*I don't go to drive-thrus, I like to look people in the eye when I order. I think that if these minimum wage people look in my baby blue eyes they will think twice about doing anything to my food. I also like to keep my eyes on them. Stella makes fun of me all the time for going into the store.

The guy who took my order looked like the Shamwow guy with microphone and everything. At $4.19 the Angry Whopper is a little expensive for a fast food burger but I thought it would probably be worth it. They also sell double and triple Angry Whoppers, I think I saw a punch card where you get a free angioplasty with the purchase of 5 triple Angry Whoppers.

I brought my Angry Whopper home and opened it up to take the tomatoes out. As I did, I noticed a real lack of jalapenos, maybe 3 or 4 sliced ones didn't seem to angry to me. The burger had about 8 or 10 pretty thick onion strings, which according to the marketing had been whipped while growing, much like Bing Crosby's kids. Everything was covered by a pepperjack type mayo.

The first bite I had had no anger at all. It didn't even seem spicy. But it tasted good and tasting good goes a long way. On bites where I got all of the components; meat, Crosby onion, jalapeno and pepperjack, I was pleasantly surprised. Unfortunately there were only 2 or 3 of those bites. On bites without all the components the meat and mayo carried enough flavor to be enjoyable but wasn't very angry.

I may have gotten a badly put together burger, but overall it was pretty good. I'm certainly willing to take a shot again and maybe I will get double the amount of jalapenos I got this time, which I'm sure will take the Angry Whopper from pretty good to great and from perturbed to actually angry.