Monday, December 14, 2009

Carb Loadin'

While visiting our in-laws a few months back, I was treated to the rare occasion of actually not eating a homemade meal. The act of eating out turns into a much bigger adventure when you leave someplace like KC for a small town on the border of Minnesota and South Dakota. They called in an order to some bar called Extra Innings, which featured wraps made out of pizza dough called "paninos." I went with the Chicken Parmesan and was delighted to find a wrap that contained pasta, minimal cheese and a over-baked chicken patty. There was a cup of sauce on the side, but the dryness of all ingredients cooked together was too much to overcome. Pasta inside of a wrap may be one of the most epically bad food decisions ever made. After that night, I never imagined I would encounter it again.

I did cross it again though, and it was just as awful. This next encounter featured spaghetti and meatballs with sauce actually in the wrap. The sauce definitely makes it easier to eat, but the meatball was hardly present. Instead of meatballs, it might make more sense to lay an Italian sausage down the length of the wrap so it's there for every bite. Or perhaps just meat sauce. Or maybe....just maaaaaaybe...you fill the wrap with canned pasta. And if you really want to make sure the meat is in there, you have to go with mini meat-filled raviolis and meatballs.

The first step, which is highly important, is to drain the liquid. This helps make sure the sauce doesn't get your tortilla wrap too moist and ruin the integrity. I suggest pouring it into a cup to use as an enchilada sauce later.


Next, just slop some raviolis and meatballs out the can. Frankly, I think a wrap may be the preferred way to eat this product because it allows you to avoid as much eye contact with the food as possible.


Finally, I just wrapped them up Chipotle-style and threw them in the microwave to heat up the innards. Microwave the crap out of them. Mine were only lukewarm and elicited a gagging reaction. The original plan was to eat these in order to make a co-worker throw up, and that plan nearly backfired tragically. Potato Skins and Sunkist were lovely compliments in both taste and color scheme.

6 comments:

m.v. said...

there are easier ways to kill yourself

Tish Boyle said...

I am a carb addict, but that sounds like it might even be too much for me to handle. Perhaps it might be a good pre-marathon meal (not that I'm a runner or anything).....

Woodprinz said...

This exemplifies fine food writing from beginning to end, enhanced by superb photos. Mazeltov!

JJSKCK said...

How could you...I mean, how...after experiencing the Domino's bowl?

You're either a masochist or an amnesiac.

JH said...

Horrifying

Faith said...

I have the opposite reaction to this post than JJSKCK. I think this is AWESOME. Please eat more random crap that makes no sense, take pictures of the process, and post about it. PLEASE. I find it endlessly entertaining!