Monday, October 12, 2009

Checked Out

I'm not what you would call a fan of public television, but after seeing this season's schedule for Check, Please! Kansas City, I've spent the last few weeks suffering through episodes to see the person who suggested U-Gene's Deli & Pizza. It did not disappoint. If the U-Gene's logo to the right isn't creepy enough for you, you should really check out the pile of awful that is their website.

I've eaten at U-Gene's numerous times, and I will probably eat there again. I wouldn't say the food is bad, but the fact that anyone would go on a show to vouch for the place boggles my mind. I love Taco Via, I gave it 5-stars on Yelp, but it is a complete shit hole. There are some places that should never be recommended but simply stumbled upon, U-Gene's is one of those places.

The Check, Please! intro sold U-Gene's as the only good alternative a woman from Chicago could find to Chicago-style pizza. U-Gene's doesn't serve Chicago-style pizza or anything closely resembling it. I only eat at U-Gene's for lunch, so perhaps I'm missing the boat since the lady said the pizza isn't as good at lunch. Huh? They make a shitty version of their food just for the lunch crowd? That makes sense. While this lady dished out the praise, the look of disgust from the man who suggested Blue Koi filled me with delight. It almost made me wonder if they aren't allowed to be too harsh on a selection, because that guy looked like he wanted to go off. Had I been on this episode of Check, Please! and asked for my final summary, it would have went something like, "Greasy pizza and crispy sandwiches. Great for helping out with a bowel movement or when you're completely drunk."

My second favorite moment of the show came while they were reviewing Blanc Burgers & Bottles. Best burger is a very hotly contested claim, and while Blanc completely does it for me, I'm willing to accept other opinions. Willing unless you're the type of person who goes on TV to hype up U-Gene's. The lady said Blanc wasn't even the best burger she had that week, and then left us all hanging. If U-Gene's is your favorite restaurant in KC, where is your favorite burger from? Sonic? I need to know.

If you're interested in future episodes of Check, Please! I suggest circling 10/22 on your calendar. Hayes Hamburgers will be featured. The one time I have eaten at Hayes, the grill cook had a custom Chiefs jersey and no teeth, and we watched a woman behind the counter individually slice a ziploc bag of 50 hot dogs. Thank you, Check, Please! for celebrating some of the Northland's finest.


Bull E. Vard said...

I really feel like I could write a post like this after every episode of Check Please. And I would if I thought more than 9 people watched the show and read this blog.

As for that lady who didn't think much of her Blanc burger, I thought Stella was going to try and find out where she worked so she could go stab her. I feel the same way about that lady last season who didn't think much of Harry's Country Club.

Bull E. Vard said...

One more thing, I don't think there should be punctuation in a show title so I am ignoring the , and ! in any future discussion of the show (and retroactively to any time I might have mentioned it in the past month).

Chimpotle said...

After the second typing of Check, Please! it began to be a fun little game.

I think all that needs to be said about U-Gene's is that the other chick was surprised that the bathroom was clean and they have a Blades jersey on the wall.

m.v. said...

I think at the end of the season it will be revealed that all the viewers were punk'd

Tad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tad Allagash said...

That is a creepy drawing. Eugene must be Skip Sleyster's evil twin.

JJSKCK said...

She kept saying to try the pizza at dinner. I'm sure what she meant is that, like most places with a by-the-slice option, the slabs of pizza under the heat lamp don't measure up to a fresh-from-the-oven pie. The guy had obviously ordered a whole pizza, which is why he was probably pissed at her for not understanding.

I don't know if I'm one of the nine who read this and watch Check; Please?, but I think it's a valid point for discussion.

And Bull - full disclosure: I actually had a lousy experience at Harry's last time. I've defended the place before, but I've had too many people tell me about interminable meals, snotty service, and indifference to dismiss them all. My last visit spanned an hour and 45 minutes. All but 30 of them were spent waiting for drinks, food, or the check. Please. They brought me the wrong beer too, and didn't want to take it back because the server insinuated I ordered it wrong.

The DLC said...

Ha, I love it when the server implies you ordered the wrong thing! Has that ever happened in the history of the world? Oops, I meant to order the catfish but "steak au poivre" just came out of my mouth. This is especially insane because the server isn;t even the one pouring the beer in most cases. Rather it's some punk-ass bartender who probably hates the waitresses guts.

All that being said, I was at Harry's this weekend and the service was superb. Much better than the watery manhattans.

winedoofus said...

U crack me up; keep writing these and I won't need to watch the show, since you select the best parts to highlight.