Thursday, December 18, 2008

In the beginning

After a "soft opening" that has lasted three months now, I figured it was time to get around to a post I buried. Hot Blog on a Stick is my (Chimpotle) brain child in an effort to get in on the free food and drink opportunities abound on the internet. Bull E Vard is my fellow contributor when he gets tired of being Kansas City's eighth best beer blogger and becomes the nineteenth best food blogger.

Aside from the introductions, the true meat of this post is the logo I created in my head. I had a number of offers to look at graphic art interpretations, but I wanted something substantial. Something beautiful. I purchased three different varieties of corn dogs in the name of art and ate them all in the name of obesity. If you are cooking via microwave, Oscar Meyer has the hands down best offering due to their individually wrapped dogs with microwavable bag. It is the golden brown one on the bottom below. Bar-S is the one above it, which are complete ass.

The hardest part was figuring out how to write on a corn dog. The nozzle on top of mustard is just obscenely large. I bought some Easy Cheese, which was great practice, but not the look I wanted nor a healthy addition to the process. That's when my wife came home with a mini-syringe...

Sandwich Pal fills all of my edible mustard needs, but this French's did well for its purpose. Plus, the chunks of jalapeno in Sandwich Pal don't lend themselves to being shot out of a needle point. After learning the pressure needed for an even stroke and avoiding the watery portions from getting in the syringe, I reached my final goal.

The backing behind the dog is what I used for the site. I added numerous grease stains and mustard spots of authenticity. After completion, Bull E Vard asked me how many corn dogs I ate during what turned out to be a two day process. I said the more important question was how many corn dogs did I fellate clean during the process. I didn't feel like I could throw them out, and eating them became out of the question. So the only real option was taking a shot to the mouth for the team to wipe the slate clean. At one point, I had licked a corn dog raw if that's even possible.

After that last paragraph, I thought a picture of my daughter would be appropriate. At the end of the shoot, she made a dash for the corn dog as evidenced by the mustard on her hands. Her double-chin also serves as evidence that Hot Blog on a Stick will be in capable hands for decades to come.


Owen said...

Well worth the effort. I'm thinking I should design a logo with the name on a filet mignon and that way I can eat my unfortunate and many mistakes.

Chimpotle said...

That would be the beauty of being able to expense blog items

m.v. said...

design at it's best

Midtown Miscreant said...

Even ending that post with a photo of your cute kid, won't buy you a pass on "Licking a Corndog Raw". (Insert homophobic one liner here)
You are a funny guy Chimp, keep up the good/bad work. And don't let me hear that you are using that syringe to mainline gravy. Merry xmas to you and yours.