Mass Effect

I've been off the consumption grid for the past couple of weeks due to a vicious beast known as gout. For those unfamiliar with the disease, it's a form of arthritis caused by the body's inability to remove uric acid from your body. It can be hereditary or just caused from over consumption of protein rich items such as meat, beer, etc. For those of you who are familiar with my work, it's not hard to guess which side I fall on.

This is my third flare-up of gout over a span of about four years. I'm starting to approach a time where I need to start considering daily medication to control it on top of lifestyle and diet changes. So I've been laying low for the past month, avoiding a lot of meat and a majority of beer. I think I ate some form of eggplant for 5 straight meals at one point. I've actually taken my health seriously for the the first time in a while, and it's not that bad.

But there's always a relapse. There's the day you get abandoned by the lunch crowd and your constant craving for spicy chicken finds you in the drive-thru of Popeye's Chicken. You order a meal with a drink to cope with the salt intake from the meal. Then you get to the window and get handed this:


The thing didn't even closely fit in either of my cup holders. I left my water cup in the shot just for epic comparison. How is this the default drink? I remember in my youth, getting the default drink (now considered a small or smaller) and being upset that it was 75% ice. Now it's like a blessing. Ultimately, it's up to each of us to practice restraint and make healthy decisions, but come on. And the sad thing is that there was probably someone behind me in the drive-thru that is going to be completely pissed off at the amount of ice that's displacing their soda.

The Farmhouse Affair

It started with a Tweet, "Anybody want to grab lunch" and ended up at The Farmhouse, a new restaurant in the River Market (in the old Delaware Cafe location). Meesha and I decided on Farmhouse to get our hands on the chicken fried duck sandwich. We showed up separately, Meesha had beaten me there and was sitting in the little waiting area of the lovely little restaurant. The hostess asked us if we wanted to sit inside or outside on the wonderful little patio. Our eyes met as we said "outside" in unison, both of us thought the same thing, the patio promised to be much more romantic.

Our lovely waitress brought us a wine bottle filled with water and poured each of us a glass. She was a lovely young lady with a very flattering cut to her top that might make some men stare, but not this one who had his eye on one person, Meesha. I felt Meesha might have lost some interest in me as he asked our waitress about her cowboy boots. I smiled and listened but really, my heart was breaking. It was quickly becoming obvious that the only reward in this lunch was going to be the lunch.

We each ordered the chicken fried duck sandwich, I got mine with fries and Meesha sprung for the extra couple of dollars to get the cold potato and leek soup. When our sandwiches arrived they looked wonderful, not as wonderful as my companion, but wonderful nonetheless. I was less impressed with the brown state of my fries. I certainly didn't foresee getting some limp brown shafts with my lunch, but that's exactly what I got in those fries. Meesha actually received a salad with his sandwich. Our waitress very graciously got him his bowl of soup and let him keep his salad, game, set and match to our lovely waitress.


We both whipped out our cameras to photograph our sandwiches. Meesha was caught by the lady at the next table and asked her if she wanted her picture taken too. I wasn't asked but I've fantasized since about exactly the pose I would seduce with. My first bite of the sandwich brought disappointment. Not the disappointment that I was feeling for not completely engaging with the Pitch's blogger of the year, but the disappointment of knowing that this sandwich wasn't going to live up to the hype that the Farmhouse has been receiving.

The chicken fried duck was topped with a sweet and hot pepper relish and some arugula. Matched with the duck these are 3 ingredients I can get behind. However, the duck was mostly flavorless and not that indistinguishable from a pork tenderloin sandwich, though the sweetness of the duck could be tasted. The arugula was a bit annoying on the sandwich as I really had to cut it with my teeth everytime I took a bite so I didn't pull it all out. The relish was rather sparse and I don't think it tasted that great when I was able to notice its flavor. As mentioned above, the fries were even disappointing. They were quite brown and not quite as crisp as one would expect from this type of fry. They definitely wouldn't meet the snap test (snapping in half when bent over 45 degrees), they might go to 65 degrees before snapping (I knew high school geometry would come in handy someday). The homemade ketchup was quite nice though, and I didn't try the pickles on the plate, I had my mind on a different kind of pickle.

It was supremely disappointing that my Meesha fantasy didn't work out because it had so much promise. Farmhouse was disappointing in the same sense, a lunch place with good, fresh and local high end ingredients not delivering a great lunch experience. I think if you walk in expecting decent food you're going to get it. If you go in with heightened expectations based on hype, you'll be as disappointed as I am about losing out on Meesha.

You can read Meesha's thoughts on lunch here.

Guilty Pleasure

I haven't eaten at a Cheesecake Factory in years and can only recollect eating there twice. I remember nothing about either experience except I didn't pay for either meal and I got a lot of food. I'm pretty sure I ate a piece of cheesecake there somewhere along the way but I don't remember that either. I only mention it because I don't really have an opinion on the Cheesecake Factory. I've only really thought it was a more expensive family, casual restaurant that does an enormous amount of business.

Everyone's favorite food author this side of Anthony Bourdain, Michael Ruhlman, had the same feeling.

A week or so ago I made fun of author and journalist Kelly Alexander after she wrote an article in praise of the Cheesecake Factory. She quickly issued a challenge by email: "OK, Ruhlman: A wager is in order, clearly. If you go to the Cheesecake Factory, taste that miso salmon, and after that can honestly tell me it doesn't rock, I will not only pay for your salmon but will personally buy 15 copies of Ratio. If you go and eat it and then concede that it tastes good, you have to blog KELLY ALEXANDER IS RIGHT ABOUT THE SALMON AT THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY. Deal or no deal?"

Sure enough Ruhlman lost the bet and wrote his mea culpa.

I'm a little easier on chain restaurants than most food bloggers. I figure if they didn't serve good food, they'd go out of business. Applebee's and Arby's, just to name two restaurants, don't really prove my point but, for the most part, the food is at least acceptable.

So, in the spirit of Ruhlman, I'm going to come out and announce my guilty pleasure, I like Houlihan's. I've never had a bad meal there number one, but number two, I've really enjoyed every meal I've had there. I don't think I've had the same thing twice because something on the menu catches my eye every time. Sure, Stella and I did get a free meal there one time, but we had to eat with Owen so the freebie cancels itself out. The steaks I've had there have been perfectly cooked and flavorful. The sandwiches have always been good, the french onion soup is very good and I even enjoy their salads.

My only complaints about Houlihan's is that it is a little more expensive than I would like it to be and their beer selection is horrible. We generally only go there when we get one of our birthday or special event coupons. But that's about it, I think Houlihan's has good food and a decent atmosphere. If you're going to eat a mid priced chain restaurant, Houlihan's should be your choice.