Hot Blog on a Stick

McGills Efficiency

2010-12-08T09:01:00.000-06:00

French onion soup is just about the only soup that I enjoy. Soup is basically watered down real food so I've never gotten the attraction. But, I'm always looking for some good French onion soup. My old college roommate, Killian, told me about a place over by his house in Brookside called McGills and said they had wonderful French onion soup.

My earliest convenience got me there yesterday afternoon. McGill's is a pretty small place, maybe 12 tables, but at least 3 waiters walking around. I must say the service was spectactular and Marty, my waiter, was very speedy and friendly. He walked right up after I was seated and mentioned the specials. I didn't pay attention because I was just going to get some French onion soup. I told him that and Marty gave me a wink and a smile and said "you must have heard how great it is". I said I did.

The soup is made to order, meaning that the cheese is melted on top when the order is placed. I waited a short time and Marty brought me my soup. Somehow, as I wasn't paying attention, I knocked the spoon off the plate onto the floor, but luckily Marty was right there and handed me a spoon from his shirt pocket. As I looked around I noticed the other 2 waiters had spoons in their pockets. I'd never seen this before so I asked Marty why they all have spoons in their shirt pockets. Marty told me the owner, Bruce, makes them carry the spoons around because people are always dropping the spoons off the saucers and it's just quicker to have a spoon with you to replace the fallen one. I thought that made good sense.

The French onion soup was as good as advertised. The cheese was browned nicely and the croutons were plentiful with just the right amount of moistness. When Marty came back to fill up my water glass I noticed a little bit of string on his pants. I debated whether to point this out to him and decided to say something. Marty said that's another one of Bruce's efficiency ideas. The string is used to pull down his zipper and allows him to use the restroom without touching anything that would force him to have to wash his hands which takes time. Bruce doesn't like doing unnecessary things and soap costs money. I was dumbfounded, but impressed with the idea, but one thing I couldn't figure out, how do you get it back in, I asked.

With a spoon.

Joke via The Mike O'Meara Show's Robb Spewak, my favorite podcast.

Rieger Hotel Grill and Exchange

2010-11-09T13:23:00.003-06:00

Top shelf of bar

I got the opportunity today to meet Ryan Maybee of Manifesto and now the Rieger in the Rieger Hotel Grill & Exchange, formerly 1924 Main. They've done an immense amount of work brightening the place up. Gone are the red walls and wood painted black. Now the space is painted a nice shade of green which is coincidentally (or maybe not) very similar to the green walls in the dining room at la manse du Vard. Gone are the glass separators that divvied up the room leading to a much more open restaurant. The bar has been completely redone and, right now, while liquorless, has a nice little framed drawing of the bar drawn by Ryan. The stunning 90 year old original floor with original Rieger logo remains untouched.

The famous original floor

The walls are adorned with art from local artist Kale Von Leeuwen, a French artist, and a very large painting by Alexandra Nechita that was painted when she was 10. The kitchen, which was previously very open is closed off a little bit so you can't see all the way back. A bar has been added to make a little chef's table for use by either single diners or those wishing to let chef Howard Hanna serve them what they want. Some new lighting has been added brightening the place up from the 1924 Main days.

Ceiling in private room

16 foot long cypress table

We went back into the other dining room which will be used for private parties at the Rieger. My prediction is that this will be a sought after room to have small parties. The room seats 40 with one wall adorned with a mural celebrating the Rieger's name and history. Apparently, and this comes from Ryan Maybee's mouth, the Rieger name adorned a large whiskey company, J. Rieger & Co. that was killed by Prohibition. The logo from J. Rieger & Co. makes up a large portion of the wall. Plus, the highlight of the room for me were the 2 16 foot long wooden tables made from 150 year old cypress. On the occasions where the private room is used for regular dinner seating, the tables will be utilized by banquet style seating.

Skylight in main dining room

The menu is going to focus on fresh, seasonal items. The one menu item Ryan was excited about is rabbit pot pie. I don't know if I've ever mentioned my anti-pot pie stance (too much like a casserole), but the inclusion of rabbit, an underutilized meat, has me curious. I love rabbit and I can't wait to eat some. They're looking to open the Rieger Hotel Grill and Exchange and Manifesto near Thanksgiving. No date has been set, when they're ready to open, they'll open.

Photos were taken by friend of Hot Blog and KC Beer Blog, Ryan McElwain and are a welcome sight compared to the photos I'm capable of taking. For more of Ryan's photos of the Rieger Hotel visit (and become a fan of) the Hot Blog on a Stick Facebook page.

Webster House

2010-11-06T17:40:00.001-05:00

We did what any self respecting middle aged (well I'm middle aged, Stella's quite young) Johnson County couple would do. We saw a restaurant on public television and went to eat there the next night. In this case we went to Webster House (1644 Wyandotte, KC, MO) the night after it was featured on one of our favorite shows "Check, Please".

We used their handy dandy online reservation system found on their website around 5 PM to secure a reservation at 6:30. I'm not entirely sure that was necessary because the Webster House is quite large and was probably just a little more than half full, but Stella doesn't like to take any chances. We had a little bit of trouble figuring out where the dining room was because the first floor of the converted school house was an antique store the likes of which you might find in a higher end hotel, it kind of reminded me a couple of shops in the Fairmount in San Francisco. We finally found a flight of stairs that led us to the dining room. We were seated in a dining room adjoining the kitchen, which I wouldn't really recommend unless you really like hearing the expediter say things like "fire the scallops for 54" or "truffle fries up for 29". But sitting there did have one perq which I'll get to later.

Pretzel Rolls with 3 types of butter

Truffle fries and Long Strange Tripel

We sat down and perused the wine list while waiting for our lovely waitress, Tina, to get to us. She was having a little trouble keeping up with the 4 top next to us with a couple of UMKC professors (one of which looked just like Jeff from "Flipping Out") and their wives. I'm just speculating but they were drinking iced tea like they were high on E. Tina, quite frankly, was getting a little tired of filling up their tea glasses. I was a little disappointed in the selection for wines by the glass. Stella and I have pretty different tastes in wine, I like dry reds and she likes sauvignon blancs mostly, so we typically each get a wine by the glass. But, Webster House only has about 12 wines by the glass to choose from (ranging in price from $9 - $14). Stella was able to find a chardonnay ('06 Markham Chardonnay from Napa) that Tina thought was a great choice (and turned out to be, in fact, a great choice). I decided to skip wine once I noticed the availability of the 4 Boulevard Smokestack beers priced at $10 each which is a great bargain in a restaurant assuming you get a whole bottle. You do get a whole bottle and I really enjoyed my 750 mL of Long Strange Tripel.

We started with an appetizer of truffle fries to go along with the complimentary pretzel bread with 3 butters; a sea salt butter, shallot and artichoke butter and molasses butter. The sea salt butter went wonderfully with the pretzel bread, the sea salt making the bread seem just like eating a pretzel at a Wizards game. The shallot and artichoke butter was much better than I expected with a nice taste of shallot with just a touch of artichoke (which I don't really care for). And the molasses butter reminded me of eating an Auntie Anne's cinnamon sugar pretzel with caramel dipping sauce, but much less sweet. Honestly, I could have eaten a couple more pretzel rolls with butter for dinner and walked out of Webster House a pretty happy dude. The truffle fries came to our table mere seconds after they were announced done by the chef in the kitchen and nearly scalded Stella's tongue when she popped one in her mouth immediately. The fries were marvelously fried, crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside. Truffle oil was barely present, if at all. And they were sprinkled with parmesan cheese, of which I'm not a huge fan. The fries were better than 90% of the fries you're going to eat, so I'm not saying they're bad, but I think I'll go with another appetizer next time we go.

Short ribs

The meal was nicely paced and Stella and I had plenty of time to talk and look around. I took some time trying to figure out what the room we were in was when it was a schoolhouse. It very clearly was too small to have been a classroom, which 2 of the other dining rooms clearly were. Our room was more like a hallway with 2 original archways. It could have been a small study room. I just couldn't figure it out. The kitchen was about the same size as the room we were in and had a little counter with 4 seats facing it that I thought were for individual diners, which is a nice touch for traveling businessmen, especially since Webster House is just a couple blocks from Bartle Hall. But, I found out I was mistaken, the little counter was a chef's table. You can sit at the chef's table and have him prepare you a 4 or 5 course meal for $30 tailored to your tastes. All the while, you get to talk to the chef since he's right in front of you. All you have to do is call and reserve your time. I dare say a better $30 can't be spent for dinner and entertainment. The couple of plates I saw the chef serving the couple partaking were quite large and sounded wonderful. They were mostly a reimagining of already existing menu items using components from many dishes on the menu. Stella and I will be doing this very soon.

Defeated by the short ribs, I had to let this hunk go

For my entree, I chose the beef short rib. Short ribs are a new love of mine, they combine 2 things I love, steak and ribs. The short rib is a substantial hunk of meat like a steak only it's really tender like a delightfully smoked rib. Plus, they're slow braised which fills them full of flavor. The Webster House short rib is braised in a red chili braise that infuses the meat with just a little bit of spice. The rib is served on top of a warm jalapeno polenta cake that kind of looked like a little corn bread ciabatta. From my first bite, I was in love. I was able to cut my short rib with my fork, pull out a little bit of polenta and dip it into the cold tomatillo sauce drizzled on the plate. The combination of flavor was delightful, just a hint of spicy heat, corn sweet and wonderful, wonderful tender beef with a nice roasted meat crust. I don't think you can get a steak with 20% of the flavors of those short ribs. I was really glad I didn't eat a second pretzel roll because I wanted to fill my belly with a much of the meat as I could. I had quite a challenge in front of me; 2 large chunks of meat, a pretty big chunk of polenta and at least 500 mL of Long Strange Tripel. My next 30 minutes was set. The only fault on the plate was the absence of a larger amount of the braising liquid.

Diver Scallops

Stella got the seared diver scallops for her entree. This was a much more manageable amount of food to eat with 4 scallops with a little beet and endive salad accompanied by a butternut squash risotto and a toasted parmesan cream. I'll be honest, I didn't think it looked that great. The risotto was a light green color and the scallops just looked overcooked and chewy. Looks can be deceiving. The scallops were perfectly cooked and seasoned. The risotto was perfect in flavor. Stella didn't leave a bit of food on her plate. I was not successful in finishing mine. I finally had to throw in the napkin with 4 or 5 good bites to go. It was a shame to let it go.

Best caramel corn ever

We were too late to get over to Elbow to get some chocolates for First Friday so we decided to have dessert there. Stella was stuck between 3 choices, German chocolate cake (I told her I wouldn't eat any of it, I don't like German chocolate cake because I don't like coconut..or Germans), Almond cake or caramel corn which is modestly named "The Best Caramel Corn Ever" on the menu. After consulting with Tina, our waitress, Stella decided on the caramel corn. I'm glad she did because it was the best caramel corn I've ever had. Admittedly, this is a weird thing for a restaurant to be really great at, but, at least you don't have to go to the Sedgwick county fair in Kansas or some such place to get the best caramel corn ever. You can just go to downtown KC. Each piece of popcorn was perfectly popped and coated with caramel. Then there were some peanuts, cashews and 2 pecans included. The pecans were so good we were very aware of how many there were. If there were 4 pecans in our serving of caramel corn, this whole post would have been about the caramel corn. The pecans were that good.

Webster House isn't a hip place, I don't think there was anyone under 30 in the place. It's not the most cutting edge restaurant in town. It's not the coolest place in town to be. But, it's a great place to spend an hour and a half or two hours eating a wonderful meal and drinking wonderful wine and beer. The small imperfections in our meal such as not enough truffle in the fries, not enough gravy on the short ribs, not being able to find the dining room are just that, very small imperfections. We enjoyed impeccable service, wonderful food and most of all a good time. Webster House is a treat that is quite unique in Kansas City and should experienced by everyone in town at least once and is a great destination for the downtown traveler to KC.

RJ's Pig Feast

2010-10-25T09:09:00.000-05:00

RJ's Bob-Be-Que is having a little party tonight to celebrate the rebroadcast of the "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" episode featuring them. As part of the celebration they are smoking a whole pig which is fulfilling award winning blogger Meesha's yearlong dream of eating a smoked pig. A buffet with the pig, cole slaw, beans, sweet potato casserole, fresh applesauce and corn bread muffins will be available for $15/person.

Word is they're pretty packed up, but there's still space available so you'd better call 913-262-7300 to RSVP and reserve your spot. You don't want to miss out on whole pig and if you play your cards right you may even see several D list KC bloggers hanging out eating pig. If you're not coming out, you can watch the episode, which will make you really want to eat barbecue, will air at 9:30 on Food Network. If you are coming out, festivities at RJ's begin at 8.

Panera is Bad For You

2010-10-19T09:12:00.000-05:00

McDonald's is always the convenient whipping boy for health activists saying that McDonald's food is bad for you. But, that's a little too easy, it's like picking on the gay kid in high school (too soon?). Everyone knows that McDonald's is bad for you, but they're always the example of how fast food is bad for you. I don't understand why, after they go after McDonald's, Burger King and Wendy's, they leave a place like Panera alone.

I'm not going to lie, I hate Panera for reasons unrelated to it's healthiness. I spent about 6 months working on a project a couple of years ago in which we had 2 or 3 lunch meetings a week. At those meetings we almost always had Panera, and aside from the French onion soup and lemonade, I never liked any of their food. Many times a sandwich would sound good but actually taste horrible. But, I always kinda thought Panera's food was better for me than typical fast food.

It's not. Panera's just as bad, if not worse, than McDonald's. For instance, half a smoked ham and swiss sandwich has more sodium than a McDonald's double cheeseburger (1220mg to 1150mg) and only 80 calories less and 7g fat less than the double cheeseburger. That's half a sandwich, hardly a meal. So if you're doing the Pick Two menu at Panera, you're going to get a salad to be a little healthier than the fries you're going to get at McDonald's, I chose the half fuji apple chicken salad. Well, you're obviously going to do better on the sodium front at Panera. Except, you're not. You're going to get 410mg of salt in that salad as opposed to 270mg in a medium fries. Again, the salad does better on the calorie front with 260g to 360g, but the fat is almost even 15g to 17g. So for a total meal you get 610 calories, 30g of fat and 1630mg of sodium at Panera. At McDonald's you get 810 calories, 39g of fat and 1570mg of sodium (I added 2 ketchup packets at McDonald's). If you have high blood pressure or any other heart related problem, you just screwed yourself by going to Panera. If you're relatively heart healthy, you saved 200 calories and 9 g of fat by eating at Panera, unless you ate that pesky little baguette they throw on your tray. Then you give up 180 calories and add another 440mg of sodium. Your carb total is even between the 2 meals.

For my money, there's not a dime's worth of difference in the nutritive value of the 2 meals, but the Panera one is much more dishonest. In my mind a half sandwich half salad lunch should be way better for me than a double cheeseburger and fries. If I'm not informed of my caloric or sodium intake, I might be more willing to splurge a little for dinner and have some chocolate cake for dessert or eat a heavier meal and still think I didn't go over what I should be eating in a day.

Now, let's say I'm trying to eat healthier and actively seeking a good for me meal at Panera and McDonald's without looking at the nutrition guides on their websites. So, looking at their menus (I did not cherry pick here, I chose these meals by what sounded healthiest and what I would like to eat, except at Panera I chose turkey, which I hate and will not eat, but turkey is the best for you meat either restaurant carries.) I chose 2 grilled chicken wraps and a side garden fresh salad. At Panera, I chose the half smoked turkey sandwich and the half orchard harvest chicken salad. My McDonald's meal totals 570 calories, 21g of fat, 1240mg of sodium and 64g of carbohydrates. My Panera meal totals 740 calories, 25g of fat, 1930mg of sodium and 84g of carbohydrates. If you somehow don't eat the baguette that shows up on your tray at Panera you still get 560 calories, 24g of fat, 1490mg of sodium and 52g of carbohydrates. Panera loses in all categories except carbohydrates if you don't eat the bread, but be honest with yourself, you're going to eat that baguette.

In both cases, trying to eat healthy or ordering what I want, I would rather eat the McDonald's meal (and I don't like McDonald's either). Neither place is particularly good for you, but, at least at McDonald's you're not fooling yourself into thinking you're eating something healthy. Panera somehow escapes people's scorn when it comes to serving bad for you food. I don't think they should, they're even more guilty of making bad for you food, because they serve it under the guise (whether intentional or not) that the food is fresh and good for you. I can't speak to whether it's fresh or not, but it's definitely not good for you.

I encourage you to play my little game with both restaurants' handy nutrition calculators; Panera and McDonald's. Or go one step further and compare Panera to your favorite boogeyman of negative nutrition and see how they stack up.

La Bodega

2010-10-11T10:25:00.000-05:00

A while back LaCrone wrote a post on the Clean Plate Club blog about places in town he was ashamed he'd never eaten at. I commented on that post listing 3 places, Plaza III, The Majestic and The Savoy. But I left off La Bodega (703 Southwest Blvd., KCMO), that's just how much it was buried in my mind as a place to eat. Well that changed recently as Stella and I finally thought of it when we were trying to decide where to eat dinner.

chorizo y pollo

Calamares

We got there during their happy hour which includes about 15 of their small plate entrees at half price and half price beer and sangria as well as 10 wines served for $5 a glass. Wes Port wrote a nice little post about the happy hour a couple of years ago on the KC Beer Blog. As we sat down we only knew they had a good happy hour, we hadn't looked at a menu before and didn't know quite what to expect. It was a little overwhelming at first since neither of us knows our Spanish food very well. We decided that we would each get 2 plates on our own and then share 1 and see where we stood when we were done with that. I ordered the calamares a la plancha (sauteed squid in olive oil, garlic and lemon sauce) and patatas bravo (potatoes in a spicy tomato sauce). I was very close to ordering the pimientos rellenos de piquillo (red peppers stuffed with rice and ahi tuna) but when I looked in the regular menu I saw that it was served cold. Cold rice dishes don't appeal to me unless it's sushi plus it was a little bit cold the evening we went and I wanted something a little more hot and spicy. Stella got the pincho de pollo y chorizo (skewer of chicken and chorizo) and datiles con jamon y chorizo (dates wrapped in pancetta and stuffed with chorizo). If there's a dish with stuffed dates on the menu, Stella's going to order it. We decided to share an order of pintxos de higo (roasted red peppers, goat cheese and a fig coulis on grilled bread). Again, if you have a fig dish on your menu, Stella's going to order it. We also each got a red sangria.

Our food came out in under 5 minutes. The calamares looked wonderful, a nice departure from the battered and fried version you normally see. A nice pile of rice accompanied the squid. I was unprepared for the size of the patatas bravo, this was no small plate, it was a full plate of potato quarters covered in a rich looking chunky tomato sauce. Stella's pollo y chorizo skewers were a bit puny, the jamon y chorizo was 5 dates that looked quite fabulous and the pintxos de higo contained 3 slices of bread with a healthy smattering of goat cheese and fig coulis.


Patatas bravas, you must eat this

Let's start off with the weakest of the bunch, the calamares. There's a reason squid is usually fried, it's because it's hard to get much flavor into the meat.
The whole thing was a bit bland, not bad tasting or anything, just the weakest of the items we got. Despite the small size of the pollo y chorizo, Stella enjoyed it thoroughly. But what she really loved were the dates. I had to sheepishly ask if I could try half of one and she kindly let me. They were like candy which is the only thing bad I can say about them, because they were much more of a dessert type item than a dinner entree. I could barely taste the chorizo in them and Stella said the same. The pintxos de higo were wonderful, the goat cheese and fig is a classic combination for a reason. On to the star, the patatas bravo. I loved every bit of it. If you go to La Bodega and don't get the patatas bravas. I have to say you failed. This should be a side dish at every restaurant in town, there should be a food truck slinging bravas parked in Westport, I should see a bravas stand at every festival around town. Bravas does for the potato wedge what poutine does for the french fry. I don't think I could have spent a better $3 anywhere in town. The tomato sauce on the potatoes was a perfect bit of spicy with the tomato's natural sweetness. The potatoes had a nice bit of crisp on the skin and were light and fluffy inside. It was just a pretty wonderful little combination.

pintxos de higo

Since Stella didn't get the patatas bravas she was still hungry after her dishes and had to get an order of albóndigas caseras (meatballs in a garlic cream sauce). We also each got a white sangria. I snacked on the leftover bread from the breadbasket and worked on finishing the potatoes. The bread was some kind of wonderful as well since they had olive oil and basalmic vinegar on the table. I love some bread with oil and vinegar. I didn't like the white sangria as much as the red and I'll probably order beer next time. Stella liked the white better than the red. Sangria's not really my thing so Stella's taste is probably more correct. She enjoyed her meatballs and conceded that she probably should have had them instead of the pollo y chorizo.

Finally full we got our check to which we were going to use some credit we had built up on our KC Originals card and pay the rest with a credit card. The waitress informed us that we could only use our Originals credit on the only full priced item we got and only on half of that. So instead of being able to use our entire credit we could only use $4. The KC Originals has no such rule that you can only use your credit on full priced items, La Bodega just doesn't want to redeem your credits, so keep that in mind. It makes me only want to redeem points at La Bodega just because they want to make up rules. It soiled an otherwise wonderful experience at La Bodega. It also soils the KC Originals card which we love using. The restaurants love to give you the points but, at least in La Bodega's case, are looking to screw you over when you try to redeem your points. Just know that no rule about redeeming points only on full priced items does not exist.

Other than the points redeeming thing, La Bodega is a must visit place to eat in KC and the patatas bravas is a must order there.

Shake Shack

2010-09-29T14:37:00.001-05:00

The Shake Shack on Santa Fe in old Overland Park (8039 Santa Fe Dr.) has taken over the spot vacated by Wheat State Pizza recently. I've lived in this neighborhood for nearly 10 years and this is one of those locations that seems to have had a new restaurant every year. It just seems like it's a tough place to make a living. But, I think Shake Shack has a pretty good shot at making it.

The painting on the windows says "Local, Organic, Sustainable", 3 words that excite hipsters and recycling friendly suburbanites like no other. I'm only interested in if it tastes good. I was heartened to see whole potatoes laying around the grill area as I walked in the door meaning they're cutting their own fries. If a place is cutting their own fries they're taking a giant step towards being a really good restaurant. As soon as the 2 ladies in line in front of me placed their burger orders, I saw the grill man reach in the fridge, grab 2 balls of hamburger and flatten them on the grill. Made to order burgers, another step in the right direction. When I looked at the menu, I marveled at the simplicity of a six item menu. Single basket, double basket, veggie basket, fries, onion rings, shakes/floats, there was beauty in the simplicity. I ordered a single basket and was confronted with the question "fries or rings", I froze. To which the counter guy (who I'm pretty sure is the owner) said "we can also do a fifty/fifty". Sold. I inquired what kind of shakes they had, only chocolate and vanilla on this day but they usually have strawberry. The owner was surprised at how quickly the strawberry shakes sold. He could have sold one more, but I had to have chocolate instead.

Do you want to go here if you're in a big hurry? Probably not, it takes a couple minutes to cook your burger. But, you're at least entertained a little bit by the owner who is a pretty happy guy. He's happy to tell you to bring in some art to hang on the walls. He's happy to talk to the customers. He's probably pretty happy because he owns a pretty cool little burger place. He's happy to let you put the trojan helmet on that's laying around on the counter. It's not a really organized system they're running over there, but they keep it fun and loose. A little happiness around makes the wait much more bearable.

I got my burger to go but I very easily could have eaten it there. They have a couple of tables outside where you can look through the park and see the historic carriage house. Or you can sit at one of the 8 barstools in the restaurant if the weather isn't to your liking. I brought my burger home and unwrapped it and was a little disappointed in the look of my fries and rings. I tried a fry and it was a bit soggy like it wasn't rinsed before it was fried. The onion rings were obviously hand cut and battered and, while inconsistent in thickness, were well cooked. The burger was stacked with some lettuce, a thick slice of tomato and enough diced onions for 4 burgers at any place. The Shake Shack promises that all of these items are locally grown, including the beef. I'm not sure if that means they won't have tomatoes in the winter or if they'll have South American tomatoes or what. I don't get locavorism, but I do know that all the toppings were delicious (my son ate the tomato). The burger taste was quite beefy with very few other flavors. If you like a simple burger like you'd get at a family picnic, the Shake Shack has the burger for you. I had to throw a couple of dashes of Tabasco and some ketchup on to make it good, your taste may vary. I will say they don't scrimp on throwing in condiment packets in your to go bag. I left the mustard and mayo packets there. With some salt on the fries and rings, everything was quite satisfactory. It was a good $5 lunch, $8 with a shake which was also good but a little ordinary. The biggest compliment I can give a place is to say I ate every bite and I ate every bite of my Shake Shack lunch.

The Shake Shack wants to be your organic, local burger stand and I can't really say they aren't organic or local, I'll leave that for someone who cares about such things to determine. What they are though is a good little local burger stand. Eating there is almost like going back in time to an old McDonald's with 10 cent burgers. There's nothing extraordinary here, but the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. I'd like to think that The Shake Shack will become a neighborhood staple like John's Space Age, Villa Capri or the Dragon Inn. I do know the owner can definitely become one of the bigger characters in the neighborhood. Go, give The Shake Shack a shot, but be sure to take cash or check because they don't take the cards.

Trader Joe's is Greed

2010-09-16T09:42:00.000-05:00

Hey did you hear, Trader Joe's is finally coming to KC with 2 locations, Ward Parkway Center and 119th and Roe. I like Trader Joe's and I'm somewhat excited about it coming to town. But, it seems to me the excitement is a little much and mostly from people who aren't fans of the very trait that allows Trader Joe's to exist, nay thrive, greed.

Want of a Trader Joe's is greedy. I've lived in KC for nearly 10 years. Not one time, not once, was I unable to find a food item that Trader Joe's carries. I'm not talking about something with the Trader Joe's brand, just the food item. If I want linguine, I can get linguine. If I want trail mix, I can find trail mix. Not only that, but I lived over 20 years in Wichita, I never couldn't find something I wanted in Wichita. WICHITA, a town dominated by one grocery store chain. So, wanting Trader Joe's, a store that sells food, seems greedy to me when we already have so many food choices.

But, these same people who have pled, plotted and petitioned for a Trader Joe's might just as likely complain about banker's greed or taxing the hell out of rich people or say things like "how many boats can you ski behind". It's the exact same thing, we're all greedy, but, to paraphrase Milton Friedman, it's only the other guy who's greedy.

You may say, I might be greedy, but I'm just happy to get cheaper food and wine. But, that's the exact same greed as someone who doesn't want to pay higher taxes. We all just want to pay less for the necessities in life. But, Trader Joe's people are a little more greedy because they want to be cool while they save their money. They wouldn't be caught dead buying their groceries at Wal-Mart (even though Wal-Mart has better produce than most every grocery store) or Aldi (which is the exact same company as Trader Joe's). But, Trader Joe's is their kind of people, and the people who check the same box on their voter registration cards shop there and none of the pesky poor people with their ill fitting, badly matched clothes with more than 1 child will be there.

Like I said, I'll be happy to shop there and I have no problem saying I'm being greedy. I just prefer my excitement to be hypocrisy free.

New York Chain

2010-08-14T10:59:00.000-05:00

I remember reading a comment about the Jones Pool that said something like "it's something like you might find in a big city like New York". You hear that sentiment about a lot of things in KC. For some people midwestern things aren't good enough, you need to be like the big city. I'm not a New York basher and I love big cities, but that kind of self defeating attitude is a bunch of shit and I don't shit like that.

This came to mind when I was reading this article on NY Eats, the 10 chain restaurants that should come to NY. Never mind that we have 9 of the 10 chains in KC, but 3 of them are Denny's, Waffle House and Chili's. The Chili's entry really cracks me up.

You know the jingle, but here's something you maybe didn't know: the ribs at Chili’s are slow smoked over actual pecan wood so that they are always tender and fall right off the bone. It’s practically the poor man’s Blue Smoke.

Now tell me something Kansas Citians, would you ever go to Chili's for ribs? Can you imagine living somewhere that going to Chili's for ribs would be something you would think about doing? Think about that the next time you have some sort of self defeating attitude about living in KC. New York strives to get Chili's ribs...who's better now?

Bull's Semi Homemade - Jambalaya

2010-08-13T10:59:00.001-05:00

I'm an okay cook. I can improvise with ingredients. I even like cooking. With 2 exceptions, I don't use prepared mixes or boxed dinners. Those exceptions are macaroni and cheese and jambalaya. Macaroni and cheese is self explanatory, I think everyone eats mac and cheese from the box mixes. But, jambalaya is a bit out of the norm.

At some point in my bachelor days I decided to give the Zatarains Jambalaya mix a shot. All you have to do is brown a pound of Andouille sausage, pour 2 cups of water on it and add the mix which includes the rice, spices and dehydrated veggies. Once you find a good Andouille (I get mine at Werner's) this is a wonderful meal for yourself with easily prepared and tasty leftovers for 1 or 2 lunches depending on how hungry you are when you make your jambalaya.

Back in my Wichita days when I owned my own business and also worked full time, my only day off was Sunday (though I did do some work on my business on Sundays) I would make some jambalaya in the afternoon and watch baseball or football or whatever movies I had rented while I ate it. Then, Sunday was HBO and I would have another bowl or 2 while watching The Sopranos or Oz or whatever HBO shows were on. To this day, I get hungry for jambalaya on Sundays, especially during football season. Jambalaya was the second thing I ever cooked for Stella (she hated it because it was too spicy, she hasn't eaten it since). Now I mostly make it for football Sunday or when Stella's not around to eat dinner.

In the years since I've started making it with some add on ingredients. The first thing I added was jalapeno which I saute in bacon fat before adding the Andouille to brown. Then I started adding about half of an onion diced which I saute with the jalapeno. Sometimes, if I have one around, I add a finely diced bell pepper. The vegetables really add some texture and flavor to the jambalaya and make up for the admittedly crappy dehydrated veggies that are included in the mix. Best of all, though, the veggies fool people into thinking they're eating a jambalaya prepared from scratch (which is a hella lot work with 20 ingredients). I used to take it to work pot lucks and everyone thought I had slaved over the stove putting together all the ingredients. I can't think of a better jambalaya that I've eaten, even without adding fresh vegetables. I'm not saying there aren't better jambalayas out there, just that I've never had them. Finally, it makes 3 meals for $7 which is pretty good for as tasty as it is.

Man V. Food - Kansas City

2010-08-11T08:21:00.000-05:00

Kansas City is going to get the Adam Richman treatment tonight on Man V. Food. He'll be visiting Strouds and Oklahoma Joe's before wasting his time out in Bonner Springs eating a massive amount of meat at some barbecue place I'm pretty sure I'll never go to. The show airs tonight at 8 on the Travel Channel.

Orange and Red

2010-08-08T19:37:00.001-05:00

The Pitch's Fat City blog has been doing a series of posts counting down their 50 favorite dishes in KC. It's reasonably interesting and should certainly be used as a guide to trying new things in the area. That's exactly what I did Saturday morning as I was strolling along at the Overland Park Farmer's Market. I decided to stop into Clock Tower Bakery to grab a croissant (I love croissants and Clock Tower Bakery has pretty good ones, they even have a chocolate croissant), but they were either out or didn't have any that day. So, I dug into my memory banks and remembered that the orange roll from Clock Tower was one of the 50 favorite dishes. So I got it.

Mind you, I only had one and it may have been a bad one, but if that roll was one of the 50 best dishes in KC then KC isn't quite the food city I believe it to be. And that's not to say the orange roll was bad, but the orange zest may have had a little too much pith in it because it made each bite a little more bitter than I would have liked it. In the end, I would have preferred one of my beloved croissants.

Not only would I not put the orange roll on my list of top 50 dishes, it wasn't even the best dish I had that day. Rather surprisingly, in a day where I had Harry's Country Club fish and chips and some pulled pork in addition to the orange roll, my favorite dish of the day came from Mission Bowl. We had decided to go bowling at our neighborhood bowling fun center after dinner. We happened upon quite the little deal where each game cost $1.50 plus we got 2 free sodas. They also had some snacks set out at a little table by the concession stand. It had been several hours since I ate so I went to check out the snacks. They had some tortilla chips set out with a couple of little crock pots full of queso. They also had some red shelled mini tacos (I call em 2 bite tacos from my days eating at Willie C's in Wichita). I have a strong love for 2 bite tacos and I was intrigued by these red shelled ones. I grabbed 5 or 6 and headed back to our bowling lane.

This is not hyperbole, from my first bite of the red 2 bite taco I knew I was eating the best bowling alley meal of my life. They were fiery hot and quite dangerous to take a bite and then bowl. After the first one I learned to eat them while Stella was bowling so I could drink from my big PBR can after each taco. The first 6 were gone quite quickly, Stella was even addicted to them. I went back and got 10 more and found out they were jalapeno chicken mini tacos. These 10 were gone in a matter of moments. Unfortunately, Mission Bowl didn't put any more out so we were left with just chips to eat (I have a rule about not eating from crock pots in Mission). The jalapeno chicken mini tacos might force me to take up bowling or at the very least start eating at Mission Bowl. The red mini tacos definitely make my top 50 KC food items.

As an aside, I have been doing some Googling today trying to find the red delights and I've come up with nothing. I've never seen these anywhere and I'm sure they come off the back of a Sysco truck. I don't understand why more places don't have the red mini tacos. They're simply divine.

Diners, Drive Ins and Dives - Swagger

2010-07-19T10:59:00.000-05:00

One of the best beer bars in town, Swagger, is going to be on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives tonight at 9. The blond, spiky haired one will be featuring the Dead Texan and Suribachi burgers. In case you don't know, the Dead Texan is a burger with 2 grilled cheese sandwiches as a bun as well as an egg, some jalapenos and various other manly and macho ingredients. The Suribachi burger is a 1/3rd burger patty that is tempura battered and fried and then covered in Sriracha and various other Asian ingredients.

Swagger will be having a watch party for the show at 9 and you can eat your very own Suribachi or Dead Texan for $2 off as well as 50 cent wings. You can also choose some wonderful beer from their wonderful and varied beer list. You'd better get there today or else you're going to have to deal with the 100% increased business the KC barbecue restaurants were dealing with after last weeks show.

Diners, Drive Ins and Dives - KC Barbecue

2010-07-12T10:46:00.001-05:00

The KC edition of Diners, Drive Ins and Dives or Triple D as the cool kids call it is focusing on KC Barbecue tonight at 9. Johnny's, RJ's Bob-Be-Que, Smokin' Guns and Woodyard will be featured. I'm always excited when RJ's gets some press, even if said press comes from someone who insists on wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. So remember to set your DVR's for the Food Network at 9 tonight.

Family Dining Chronicles - Dickey's Barbecue Pit

2010-07-08T15:20:00.001-05:00

I found my way down to south JoCo with just my 2 hungry girls. I knew Dickey's Barbecue Pit (7248 W. 121st St by the Costco) had my barbecue meat of choice, hot links, on the menu and I had to give it a shot. I love my barbecue spicy and hot links bring the spice and, unfortunately local KC barbecue restaurants have an outright ban on the hot link.

I had no idea if Dickey's was in any way kid friendly, but I was almost certain it wouldn't be filled with nude women or anti-kid hipsters, both of which are equally offensive to family dining. We walked in with no other knowledge of Dickey's. It took a moment to determine what I wanted and what to get the kids. They have 3 sizes of sandwich. $3, $5 and $7 as well as 3 sizes of meat plates. I'm more of a fan of barbecue sandwiches, especially in a place that I'm unsure of barbecue quality. I decided on the $5 hot link sandwich for me and the girls decided upon a ham sandwich and fries. They have kids meals which are free all July after 5 PM, but a $3 sandwich, side and drink is only $4 the rest of the time.

They dress each sandwich with onion, pickle and sauce, but it's like Subway when you order, you can specify what you want as they do it. I presume this means a choice of sauce, mild, original or spicy, but when asked for sauce, I just said "yes". This created a problem for one of the girls because, unbeknownst to me, she won't eat barbecue sauce and I ended up having to scrape it off. The fries are the waffle variety and because of that I didn't get them with my sandwich. I decided on the onion strings (they give them some other name, but they're onion strings) as my side. In retrospect I should have gone with my gut and got fried okra as the strings were quite greasy and a quarter of them were a little burnt and kind of infected the whole batch with that burnt batter taste.

As for the hot link sandwich, it was mediocre. It wasn't very spicy hot but had a spicy taste like it had quite a bit of paprika or ancho rather than jalapeno or cayenne. With the original sauce the hot link sandwich was fine, but definitely not a great sandwich. The kids' ham sandwich looked positively wonderful. The ham was cut kind of thick, unlike the Gates ham on bun, more like a ham steak. I think next time I'll give the ham a shot.

In addition to your meal, they have free whole pickles at the condiment stand, the kind you'd pay $1 for at a festival or fair concession. This made my oldest daughter quite happy as she loves pickles. For dessert they also have free soft serve ice cream you help yourself to. You can get either a cup or a cone. It was pretty good soft serve ice cream, much better than you get most places.

I'm not going to say that Dickey's Barbecue Pit is anything other than average in KC. There is just too much barbecue that is better in town, but if you drop a Dickey's anywhere in Nebraska or Iowa it would be a strong choice for barbecue. But, for treating kids to a good time it's an excellent choice. Plus, they have some menu items that aren't found on many KC barbecue restaurants; hot links and fried okra, as previously mentioned, green beans with bacon or jalapeno beans or barbecue stuffed baked potatoes can also be found. Plus, it's quite affordable, adults can eat a pretty good meal for $7.50 and kids eat free on Sundays and every day in July after 5 PM. Of all the places you can take your kids to eat, Dickey's ranks pretty high in the taste and affordability scales. For that, I guess I'm a fan of Dickey's Barbecue Pit.

Ham on Bun

2010-06-21T09:52:00.000-05:00

Kansas City is tough on barbecue. Everyone has their own rankings, most feel that Oklahoma Joe's is the best (I'm definitely in that camp), but LC's, Arthur Bryant's, Jack Stack and Gates are almost always in that conversation. It seems lately, though, that Gates has started to get maligned a little.

The DLC recently wrote a review calling out Gates for consistency issues and that may well be an issue. But, for me, the ham on bun was one of the best sandwiches in KC 10 years ago and it's one of the best today. When I moved to Kansas City in 2001 I ate at 2 places nearly every single day; Minsky's (it was a block from my work) and Gates. Every one of those times I ate at Gates I got ham on bun. I don't recall ever eating the ribs or burnt ends or anything else, just ham on bun. I don't recall a time where I didn't eat every bite of the sandwich and nearly all of the fries. If you've ever eaten with me, you know that this is quite the compliment. I frequently leave half my food because I get tired of eating it or get grossed out by an odd texture in a bite or something like that. My last bite of a meal frequently gets spit into a napkin. This has never happened at Gates.

Last week I was sick and didn't eat a meal for three or four days. I eased back into eating with a Chipotle carnitas bowl, but I could only eat half of it. The next day I had a hunger for some Gates. I hadn't eaten a significant amount of food for 5 days, I couldn't think of any gross foods like Arby's or Buffalo Wild Wings or I would get nauseous and if anybody around me said the word "moist" I may have very well thrown up on the spot. But, I ate every bit of the ham on bun, even the part of the bun that was touching the pickles on the plate.

On The DLC's post about Gates, I left a comment comparing Gates to the last couple of years of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Johnny had lost his fastball and his jokes all related to Zsa Zsa Gabor but we still watched it every night. One, we watched it because that's what we did, there was no alternative to Carson in those days. But, two, we watched it because there was at least one good laugh in every show. The Gates ham on bun is that one good laugh and is well worth checking out even if there are other alternatives. The rest of the menu might be lame Zsa Zsa Gabor jokes, but the ham on bun keeps Gates relevant for me.

What's Fresher than Fresh?

2010-05-26T12:57:00.005-05:00

Fresher Than Fresh Snow Cones needs your help. For those of you who don't know, Fresher Than Fresh (FTF) is a local purveyor of snow cones that sets up shop Sundays at the corner of 17th & Summit during these warm summer months. To put it in their own words:

We are Kansas City's 1st all natural snow cone stand on wheels! Our mission is to please modern tastebuds that are looking for the fun and refreshment without all the artificial stuff.

Our snow cone syrups are made from 100% natural ingredients without ANY artificial colors or flavors. We use as many organic and local ingredients as possible to ensure that our products truly are fresher than fresh.

After a successful first summer in 2009, FTF is looking to build on the business by further renovating the Shasta trailer that is the base of operations, and possibly expand the fleet to serve more customers/areas of the metro. If you're interested in helping them fulfill those dreams, you should check out the FTF Kickstarter page where you can pledge as little as a dollar or more. FTF has setup different levels of contribution which come with different gifts of appreciation. Your pledge only becomes a reality when the goal amount of $6,300 is reached. FTF is currently just over half way with 20 days left, so anything helps.

Personally, the $500 donation prize of a "Daredevil Special named after you" tempts me everyday. The Daredevil special being a more off-the-wall flavor that nets you a $1 discount when you order a normal snow cone. If I did it, I'd like it to be a marriage of hot dog, chipotle pepper and pumpkin. They could call it the Chimpotle or the Hairy Blumpkin.

Duck Funkin Donuts

2010-05-18T11:24:00.000-05:00

It's not a Tweetup, a meetup or anything of the sort. It is a chance to help out a nice local business, John's Space Age Donuts (8120 Floyd in OP, just off of Metcalf by Villa Capri and behind Winsteads) as they begin their fight against the behemoth of the donut world opening up down the street. Show up at John's tomorrow (Wednesday, May 19) and buy a dozen donuts. You may even see the sexy Meesha, the unsexy Chimpotle or the 52 Donuts lady. You may even see me, but you'll probably never know it.

If you don't live in the neighborhood or pass through the neighborhood, visit your local donut store tomorrow, the behemoth is on the way.

Unfortunately I Do Shit Like This: TGI Friday's Buffalo Cheddar Dip

2010-05-10T15:10:00.000-05:00

This is kind of embarassing and just the kind of thing all of the hummus people were hoping I would admit to. I didn't buy the TGI Friday's Buffalo Cheddar Dip and when I first saw it at a little get together I imagined it would be horrible. I thought up jokes to tell about it. But my cheese dip loving self just couldn't resist giving it a try. It was good. I took another bite. It had a nice little spicy kick. I then made a plate of the weird orange looking pudding consistency dip with some chips. I ate it all and craved some more. But, I stopped myself from getting more. It was hard to do.

A couple of days later I was at Super Target and noticed the TGI Friday's branded stuff in the freezer section. I'm not going to lie, I started looking for the buffalo cheddar dip. I didn't find it. I wish I could say my search stopped there, but it didn't. I've been to other stores and I still haven't found it. I'd probably rather not find it. But I do want it. TGI Friday's Buffalo Cheddar Dip, apparently, I do shit like this.

Mochi-Yeah!

2010-05-06T08:55:00.003-05:00

Leawood purveyor of fine frozen yogurt, Mochi-Yo, has recently celebrated a year of being in business. I made it out to their grand opening in April 2009 to take up their offer of a free small cup and have been a fan since. That day I signed up for the mailing list, and last night I received their first ever newsletter which invited customers out again this Sunday, May 9, for a free small cup w/ toppings. I'll definitely be rolling through with the family for a nice Mother's Day treat.

Mochi-Yo is located in the One Nineteen Shipping Center at 4425 W 119th St, Leawood, KS 66209. They serve a tart, frozen yogurt with original & green tea flavors being featured continuously with two other rotating flavors. Mochi is a topping of Japanese origin you can read about here.

Onward Communism

2010-04-25T22:06:00.001-05:00

The darkness has descended
Everything is bleak
Depression has set in
The restaurant on a hill
Sucks your will to live
Oh the despair
Of the stark interior
A Russian novel
Has Nothing on the China Star

I went to the China Star (9421 Metcalf, Overland Park) while I was waiting on a new windshield installation just down the street. I had time to kill so I figured a little walk and a leisurely buffet would serve me well. Unfortunately this place put me in a funk for nearly a week.

The interior is so bland and cold that it almost literally takes your breath away. It might remind someone of a restaurant in an Alexander Payne movie. I could just see Schmidt sitting in there eating moo shoo pork the week after his wife died. I wish I were joking, but that's what I was thinking of the entire time I was eating.

I can't really say anything bad about the food. I mean if you subscribe to the food is fuel argument then I was definitely refueled, but it was like putting 87 octane in a racecar. All the dishes tasted the same, it seemed kind of silly to get different things. By my third trip to the buffet I just grabbed a half plate of the food closest to my table. It wasn't worth the effort to get something labeled differently. All that being said, the food wasn't awful. I could chew it and swallow it and it had some flavor and that flavor was mildly pleasant.

While I was in there I saw the counter lady from the windshield place that helped me. When I got back to pick up my car we talked about our experience and our need for a Prozac prescription. I truly feel that she is my sister now. When you share an experience like eating at China Star, the bond is strong and can probably never be broken.

Foods I Don't Get: Hummus

2010-04-21T16:09:00.000-05:00

What's up with hummus? It seems that a certain segment of our society has gone gaga over hummus and I don't get it. It's ground beans. That's all it is. I don't recall ever hearing anyone say "you know what you've got to try? Refried beans". Couldn't we call that hummus? Or is hummus limited to the stylings of the garbanzo?

Look, I'm not bagging on hummus, it's fine. That's all it is. I go to the table at Whole Foods where Yummy is selling his various hummus varieties and I partake. I like the pita chip, it's really more of a toast though isn't it? Now I feel like Affleck in Armageddon debating the merits of a cracker and cookie. But if it's pita bread, wouldn't a baked version be toast? I think so. We should be calling them pita toasts, not chips. Oops, got off topic there. Anyway, I've had hummus more times than I can count and I just don't understand the hubbub.

Is it because hummus is foreign and it gives user a euphoria that they're better than anyone else because they "love" a foreign product. This same euphoria has been seen in the past in users of Corona, Heineken and Bass. Those products aren't better than other beers because they're foreign. I don't even think the evidence suggests those products are popular in their home countries, they just had good marketing in the US. I think hummus is the same way. It just has good marketing, it can only be found in more upscale establishments, yet not many ethnic ones.

Again, I don't hate hummus. I think it's fine. I just don't know what the difference is between hummus and Frito Lay bean dip. I think in a blind taste test where I laid out 2 varieties of hummus, a can of Old El Paso refried beans and a can of bean dip, you'd be hard pressed to tell me which is which. Is the garbanzo really that much of a superior bean to the pinto?

I know that hummus can incorporate other nice ingredients like pine nuts, red peppers, paprika etc. And I am sure that that I could find a hummus that I love. But, honestly, it seems like a whole bunch of work eating a bunch of hummus, something that is, at best, a good appetizer. I'm sure that you've had a really great hummus and it opened your mind to it. If I'd have had that hummus I'd feel about it the way that you do. But, in the end, 95% of all hummus is glorified refried beans. You can go on and on about how great hummus is and if you do, and you come to my house, I'm going to serve you some Taco Bell pintos and cheese and call it hummus, you'll never know the difference.

On Popcorn

2010-04-19T11:59:00.000-05:00

I love popcorn. I love, love, love it. I eat it 3 or 4 times a week and it's my favorite snack.

When I was a kid popcorn was one of the few snacks we had around (the other was chips and salsa which I also ate copious amounts of). My mom would make a batch using the old Stir Crazy popper or the Hot Air popper and everyone had a bowl. The popcorn was usually just salted in those days. Every once in a while some tub margarine was added or parmesan cheese. My dad used take his bowl and add some garlic salt to it. Garlic salt on popcorn is absolutely wonderful. We had popcorn at least 2 or 3 times a week. The only time we didn't have any was around Christmas because we always had dentist appointments on December 27th or 28th because my dad was off work from Christmas until the new year and we were, of course, out of school.

When I was 16 I got a job at a movie theater. I'm not tooting my own horn here, but I made the best movie theater popcorn in Wichita. I had all the tools necessary, a 30 year old popper that added flavor even without the coconut oil, an understanding of the basics of popcorn and Flavocol. Any fool can make popcorn in a movie theater. The popper squirts the correct amount of oil in and the popcorn scoop is the size of the amount of popcorn you should add and you add a tablespoon of Flavocol (which is just butter flavored salt, but may as well be crack to moviegoers). But, I took things further, I filled the popcorn scoop only 2/3rds full and doubled the Flavocol, that way each popcorn kernel got more coconut oil and more Flavocol. My popcorn was simply wonderful.

I ate so much movie theater popcorn from the time I was 16 until the time I left the movie theater around age 19 that to this day, I don't eat movie theater popcorn. Ever since they stopped using coconut oil the popcorn just isn't as good and I don't like popcorn that has been sitting around. I will only eat it if it comes straight from the popper. While I worked at the theater I picked up a couple of specific tastes for popcorn. First, I lived the dream, I used to squirt a bunch of the fake butter stuff into a cup which I had cut off the top 3/4ths of so I could use it as a dip cup. I would then dip each individual piece of popcorn into the hot fake butter and eat it. Sometimes I would add Flavocol to the popcorn I was eating meaning I was eating popcorn with 3 times the amount of Flavocol prescribed in Flavocol's own instructions. You'll never eat anything as wonderful as my popcorn with each kernel individually dipped. It's a good thing I weighed 95 lbs. at the time or I might have had a heart attack on the spot. Since we only had one theater at my movie theater, we always had a bunch of time to eat popcorn in this way.

The other flavor I learned to love was popcorn with whiskey and rum. On Thursday nights we had drunk movies for the employees. We had to build the new movie starting on Friday and watch it around midnight after the last public movie of the night. We had to make sure the movie was built right so the Friday matinee crowd didn't see an upside down and backwards reel (I'll always remember watching "Another 48 Hours" backwards and there's not much more funny than listening to Eddie Murphy speak backwards). So all the employees came and we drank either Seagram's 7, Seagram's VO or Ron Bacardi Black with Coke or 7-Up and we ate popcorn. To this day, if I have a whiskey or rum drink (which is rare), I want popcorn with it.

Since then, I've always had a Whirly Pop. If you're eating microwave popcorn, you're doing it wrong (and odds are, I hate you). You must go buy a Whirly Pop or at least use a heavy bottomed skillet which you have to shake the entire time. The Whirly Pop is the way to go, it's much easier to turn the little crank than shake a whole heavy pan. The only downside is I've eaten so much popcorn that I've gone through 3 or 4 Whirly Pops. The Whirly Pop is always, always, on my stove top. It just doesn't make sense to put it away.

I eat my usually eat my popcorn nowadays with just salt and butter. That's the only way Stella eats it. If she's not going to eat some I have many flavors I go with depending on my mood. Parmesan garlic is just garlic salt and parmesan cheese and I have it when I'm a little more hungry or if I'm drinking wine. Greek is just Greek seasoning. I got a little shaker of White Cheddar for Christmas and it's become quite popular when I have beer tastings at the house. Then there's the old standby of garlic salt which is just buttered popcorn with garlic.

Through the years I've used olive oil instead of butter sometimes and it adds a little more gourmet flavor. Sometimes I pop the popcorn in olive oil instead of vegetable or canola oil. It adds a little richer flavor. I have a shaker of Kraft macaroni and cheese orange cheese that is good. We've done a brown butter one, the burnt butter adds a nutty flavor to the popcorn. I've tried adding chili powder when I add the popcorn to the Whirly Pop and it comes out with a nice little spicy coating. A friend of mine used to put Lawry's seasoning on his popcorn and that's pretty good too, I don't like doing it because it doesn't stick that great to the popcorn so you end up using a whole bunch and most of it ends up in the bottom of your bowl (he got around that by sprinkling the Lawry's on each handful of popcorn, he's skinny too). Basically, I've tried everything I could think of through the years, virtually anything tastes good on popcorn. I even gross Stella out by eating a couple handfuls before we add anything to the popcorn, I love it plain too.

Then last night I came across the next frontier of popcorn, popping it in bacon fat. I couldn't wait until the kids went to bed so I could try it. I always save our bacon fat for some unconventional frying (it's great in jambalaya). I popped up a batch and seasoned with just butter and salt. The bacon flavor isn't overpowering, but is somewhat evident. Each piece has a slight smoky, salty flavor. I'll have to toy with it this week to get my other seasonings right, but my days of using canola oil to pop popcorn may well be over. I also found some new toppings to try, herbes de provence will be next experiment.

On Smash

2010-03-31T14:28:00.008-05:00

The first KC location of Smashburger is set to open tomorrow, April 1st. It is located at 6551 W 119 St, in the shopping center across from the Sprint Campus in a space freed up due to Starbucks downsizing.

They have plans on opening additional locations in Lawrence and Manhattan, as well as another KC location around 119th & Black Bob. I stopped by this first location this afternoon for a chance to get to know Smashburger and eat on their dime.

They occupy a long space with the counter/kitchen on one end. You order/pay at the counter and take a number for them to bring your food out. There are a couple of bottled beer options, I remember 3 Boulevard options including Boss Tom's. Hopefully this means there will be a couple of seasonal options. One of the employees mentioned the Lawrence location getting Free State, and hopefully they will be an option here when they begin bottling. When busy, this counter area could be a major cluster of people in line and others trying to get to the fountain drinks or leave. The seating features a lot of booths or tables with a booth on one-side. There is also a nice patio outside.

I ate a lot of food here. At first, I was unsure if it was OK if I ordered a burger and a dog. That was before they began bringing out sides, salads, shakes and additional burgers and dogs. I walked out with the meat sweats, and I doubt I'll get this meat smell out of my hands anytime soon. I'm going to try and do a recap by picture to help keep things in order.

The Spicy Baja Burger was my main choice. Burger, pepperjack, guac, tomato, lettuce, red onion and chipotle mayo on a chipotle bun. This things is incredible. The first bite was juice/fat bomb from a nicely cooked griddle burger. Apparently, the name Smashburger comes from smashing the patty on the griddle to seal the bottom and keep that lovely 20% inside. I removed the onion and smashed that bun down to properly spread the guac. Eating this beast was a mess of deliciousness. I will return just to enjoy it again

The Chicago Dog is also delicious. My first dog choice was a KC Hot Link, but this bad boy is far superior. They did use crinkle-sliced pickles instead of a spear, but such things can be forgiven when you hate pickles. Very flavorful. Very awesome.

This salad features chicken tendors, bacon, cheese, Gates sauce and ranch. Just eat a burger for fukesake.

Oh Smashfries, where have you been all my life? Smashburger has normal fries, but they also do smashfries which are coated in olive oil, rosemary and garlic. You can get smashfries in regular and sweet potato. The sweet potato beat the living crap out of the regular. The regular are fine, but don't mix them or you'll regret it. Rosemary is the most overwhelming flavor on the fries, and it's quite pleasant. The one bad thing is that the first time you eat them, you will fail to recognize that fishing for the last fries at the bottom will result in your fingers being completely coated in the pools of olive oil. I tried to capture some of that pooling below.

This is the KC Smashburger. Haystack onions, mushrooms, grilled onions, A1 and swiss. This was not enjoyable. We cut it in half to share, and I could only muster down a quarter. The flavors didn't mesh well for me. Also, if you're going to put Gates on a burger, why are you putting A1 on the KC-specific burger?

Fried Pickles and Veggie Frites. I doubt I would order either of these on my own. I don't like pickles...if you do, you probably enjoy fried pickles. The Veggies are flash fried and salted. I eat most of my vegetables raw. The salt wasn't really up my alley, and if they start to get cold (as they do when you eat half a place's menu) they aren't worth eating.

Here is the KC Hot Link. I like that they serve it and all the other dogs on poppy buns. The haystack onions help mellow the flavor, but Gates sauce and cheese are two things I'd never like to mix again. The hot link was OK, but the normal dog seemed tastier.

Overall, I was pleased with my visit. Of the things I didn't like, all are things I wouldn't have ordered due to personal taste. Well, aside from the hot link, which I felt obligated to eat. I tried a strawberry and a chocolate shake, but honestly, that's not something I need to get in the habit of as someone who initially orders a hamburger and a hot link.

I'd say this will become a fairly hot spot from day one. Being walking distance from the Sprint Campus should be incredible for business. In this part of town, I'd say Five Guys is the closest competitor, and Smashburger wins easily. What they lack in customization, they more than make up for in flavor, and the prices are almost identical. You might not get a bucket of fries, but these taste better, and well...YOU DON'T NEED A BUCKET OF FRIES.

BRGR Time

2010-03-05T07:49:00.006-06:00

I recently saw a tweet referencing a soon-to-open restaurant featuring a build-your-own mac & cheese. Intrigued, I followed their twitter to their website to find out Kansas City is getting another freaking hamburger place. In the past couple of year, the metro has seen a flood of "gourmet" hamburger outfits pop up. Just off the top of my head: Blanc Burgers & Bottles, Chef Burger, Five Guys Burgers & Fries, Hamburger Mary's, SmashBurger (opening soon). This doesn't even include normal restaurants that serve gourmet burgers or places like the Westport Flea Market that some still claim as the best burger in KC.

For my money, it's doesn't get any better than Blanc, but I saw something glorious while looking at the menu for BRGR Kitchen + Bar. Something that will have me checking this place out as close to their March 10 opening date as possible. And that item? The Jucy Lucy.

I may be wrong on this, but the Jucy Lucy has been noticeably absent from KC since it was dropped from the Foundry's menu, giving me little to no reason to return. Blanc has a similar burger stuffed with bleu cheese, but nothing compares to the molten lava-ish ooze of processed American cheese pouring out of two compressed hamburger patties.

A solid read of the BRGR Kitchen menu actually has me incredibly psyched to pay them a visit. Before getting down to the Jucy Lucy, the San Antion burger w/ Cheez Whiz, black beans, onions and Fritos sounded like a dream come true. Many of their burgers sound like something I'd defintely like to have a go at. I'd also be doing a disservice if I failed to mention their hot dog options. What BRGR calls the Standard is known mostly as a Chicago dog in these parts, and they have a Chili Cheese to compliment.

There will be a number of fried side items available like at most gourmet burger places. Unlike most of the local places though, BRGR Kitchen does not have their head up their ass and will feature a sampler where you can get a small portion of three different offerings. I don't know why this is such a hard concept for the other restaurants. If your sides are meant to be shared, how do you not have a sampler option?

Finally, a Jucy Lucy is best enjoyed with a little sauce in you, and BRGR Kitchen + Bar looks to have a beer & wine list to get you there. They currently list 8 beers on tap with most of the true variety coming from a substantial list of cans. While thinking back to the one can of Corona I had makes me want to vomit, thinking about being able to grab a Chicago dog and a can of Old Style takes me to a special place. If you're looking for a higher quality beer, three Ska brews will be available, one of which was recently featured on the KC Beer Blog. There are three local options with Annie's Amber Ale available in cans and Boulevard Tank 7 and Free State Ad Astra on tap. I'm kind of curious to know how New Belgium ended up on three tap handles.

BRGR Kitchen + Bar will be opening March 10. It is located at 4038 W 83rd St in the Corinth Square shopping area of Prairie Village.

Just Another Day in Paradise

2010-03-05T07:19:00.003-06:00

While Dunkin Donuts seems to get all the donut media hype here in KC, another donut franchise has recently opened up on the Kansas side of the Metro.

I got a postcard in the mail a few days ago announcing the opening of Paradise Donuts at 12126 W 87th St Pkwy, Lenexa, KS 66215. It is located in a strip mall in the NW corner of 87th & Quivira, right next to Cafe Augusta. The space was previously occupied by Steve's Delicious Donuts.

Their first day open was Thursday, March 4, and they are celebrating the grand opening from then through Sunday by offering half price donuts and coffee. I stopped by for a dozen this morning and got out spending a bit over $4. I killed a blueberry fritter and cinnamon-coated cake before even getting around to posting this. Definitely worth checking out.

Gas Station Gyros

2010-02-05T12:14:00.011-06:00

I've made no secret of my love for gyros. I think there should be a gyro stand in nearly every neighborhood. So when I heard (from KC Wort Hog) that a gas station at 75th and Penn has gyros and falafels, I knew I was going to be there within the week.

Today was the day. I braved the snow and ventured into the best part of Missouri (Waldo) and found the Shell gas station at 75th and Pennsylvania (just across Penn from 75th Street Brewery). It's a rather unassuming looking gas station, neither run down nor shiny and new. I didn't quite know what to expect as I walked in. I was pleasantly surprised by the setup. The gyro stand was a well cut out little area with a fake stone counter and a professional style stainless steel range and prep area. Everything was quite clean and if you just looked at the gyro stand you would think you were in a Subway or Quiznos. It was clean enough in there that Stella would have no problems eating there (it took me 6 months to convince her that Oklahoma Joe's was safe enough to eat).

The stand is staffed by just 1 cook who takes and then prepares your order. The cook who helped me looked like his name could be Joe. He wasn't super friendly, he was more no nonsense the way you would think a short order cook would be if he were suddenly thrust upon the public. As I was waiting for my gyro sandwich the owner (I presume) of the gas station was trying to sell me on the chicken shawarma samples he had on the counter and some Mediterranean tea samples they had while you were waiting. I've never had shawarma and I've never had any kind of a chicken sample in a gas station. The shawarma would have been better in a sandwich but it was alright, good enough that I might try a shawarma sandwich sometime. Joe finished my sandwich and dressed it with tzatiki sauce and hot sauce (he asked first).

I got my gyro home and unwrapped it. I was a little disappointed in the size and the amount of meat. Plus, it had shredded lettuce in it. What the what? I didn't sign up for vegetables in my gyro. But all that was forgotten when I ate it. The gyro was the perfect proportion of pita, meat, vegetable and sauce. The hot sauce added just the right amount of heat to give your mouth the happiness it deserves. Everything about the gyro was delightful. The only drawback was that it wasn't big enough. I'm no competitive eater but I could have eaten 2 of them, they have about half the meat of a Mr. Gyros gyro (on the other hand, I have to be really hungry for gyros to eat an entire Mr. Gyros gyro).

As a side note, it was nice hearing the owner talk about his little gyro stand. He was quite proud of it and rightly so. His gas station has probably the second or third best food in a KC gas station. It's nice to hear the kind of passion he had and you simply can't get that kind of passion in afranchise or bigger restaurant. I wish him well. I certainly can see myself getting a beer at 75th Street Brewery and walking across the street for a gyro snack. This is the perfect opportunity to get some good street food in your system while you're drinking.

Chez Elle

2010-01-17T10:54:00.010-06:00

Ever since I sent a one word email to Stella, "Interested?" and a link to Chez Elle's website, I knew we were going to eat there the first chance we got. Stella loves crepes and we would drive to Liberty if there were a crepe stand there (don't tell me if there is, I don't want to go to Liberty).

Saturday was the day, the kids spent the night at their grandparents' so we could explore the place without distraction. We showed up about 10, got a bitchin' parking spot right in front of the door and got one step in the door. The line at the counter nearly reached the door. Little did I know that this wasn't an indication that Chez Elle was super busy, just that the owner, Ellen, was the slowest cashier ever. We stood in a line about 10 people deep for a solid 20 minutes. We watched as Ellen fumbled with the register, couldn't run a credit card through the swiper and handed change back with 2 hands. It was an atrocious display.
In my mind, a cashier has 2 responsibilities to the customer. Either be quick to get people on their way or be very charming and get to know the customers. She obviously failed the first responsibility as she could barely run the register. But, she failed the second one as well because she could barely run the register. A suggestion I would give would be to give her numbers to push on the display so that when the customer orders by number, she doesn't have to translate it in her head to the name of the crepe so it can be input. Then when the ticket for the kitchen prints out it would have the number of the crepe on it instead of her having to write it on each ticket. Even this wouldn't be that big of a problem if she didn't move at a glacial pace.

I only harp on this because every other part of the Chez Elle experience is wonderful. A wide variety of crepes can be had, savory, sweet or breakfast as well as a couple of salads and some bakery items. They also have a coffee bar with a rather quick barista, she could make a latte quicker than the owner could ring up a customer.

I got the crepe they call The Madame, I prefer to call it the #24. This also lent to my frustration with the counter lady because I wanted to call it the #24 and she insisted I said I wanted The Madame in order for her to ring it up. I really enjoyed that emasculation in front of middle aged women and hipsters. The Madame is a Nutella and banana filled crepe. I can't pass up Nutella in a dish that lends itself to its use. Stella got the #9 or Petite Maison, a crepe filled with spinach, Gruyere and sauteed mushrooms. Stella also got a cafe mocha and I had a regular coffee. Our total was around $20.

We were given a number and sat down in the dining room. It's a rather charming dining room with a French motif. We were seated near a map of the Paris metro system which was quite interesting to look at. It took less than 5 minutes for our crepes to arrive and they were quite a generous portion. We were a little worried they would be a little skimpy.My crepe was just wonderful. Every time I have something with Nutella I wonder why I don't have it every day. I would have enjoyed a little more banana in it, but I could barely finish the thing anyway so I guess it didn't matter much. Stella liked here crepe just fine after she added some salt. My coffee wasn't that great and Stella didn't think much of her mocha, though it did have a little bit of artistic flair to it.Aside from the awful counter service (Ellen was friendly, but friendliness doesn't overcome our frustration with standing in line for 20 minutes watching her screw up over and over), Chez Elle was quite a nice experience. I'm certainly willing to go back and I hope that the ordering system is improved on my next visit. Once it is, I think the kids will enjoy it. We made them a Nutella banana crepe at home the next day. It will certainly be one of the best breakfast spots in the city in one of the best neighborhoods (Westside Local and Bluebird are within a block) once the kinks are worked out. It's also a wonderful place to go if you're heading to Boulevard for a morning tour (as we were). The brewery is a scant 5 blocks away.

My happy plate or Chimpo's underwear? You decide.

Family Dining Chronicles - Cheddar's

2010-01-15T09:46:00.012-06:00

Where to begin with Cheddar's(in the Oak Park Mall parking lot along 95th St.)? When they were building the place, I was like Chimpotle and thought I'll never eat there. Then the commenters on his post really persuaded me to give it a shot because it was different from all the other fast casual restaurants. I knew from reading about the place in other cities that they supposedly had really good chicken fingers (which is NOT a reason to go to a restaurant).

We packed up the kids one night a couple of nights after they opened and got there about 5:15, hoping to avoid the crowds. We were afraid the all of Johnson County would be there, the way they were with the Mimi's 100 yards away when they first opened. Luckily, we got there and were able to be seated right away. Immediately, the kids were completely engrossed in the giant fish tank at the front of the restaurant in the waiting area. It made for some nice entertainment for the kids while we waited to order and get our food.

Our service was pretty prompt in helping us and we ordered enough fried food to kill a navy. Stella got a fried shrimp platter, I got a chicken finger platter* and we ordered chicken fingers from the kids menu for the kids and an onion ring tower for an appetizer. Then we waited. For my money, one of the keys to being a family friendly restaurant from a parent standpoint is to be quick about getting the food out. We, as parents, only have so much time before things go south and the kids get bored or start fighting or any number of things. Cheddar's didn't quite meet this test. If it weren't for the fish tank to entertain the kids, things could have gotten ugly. Cheddar's is kind of loud so your kids being loud isn't going to draw a lot of attention to you. The booth we sat in was raised which also gave us kind of an island effect where I felt that we were somewhat isolated from the rest of the restaurant which took away some of my anxiety.

*I firmly believe that no one over the age of 18 should order chicken fingers in a restaurant. If you can't find something a little more adult to eat, then maybe you should go with a hamburger. I only ordered the chicken fingers because I read they were a house specialty (clue that you're eating crappy food; chicken fingers are a house specialty).

The onion rings came and they were quite tasty. I did get about a week's worth of sodium in each ring and I probably flustered the waitress because she had to keep refilling my drink. The dipping sauce that came with the rings was another super salty southwestern style concoction. It was best to just stick with some ketchup. When the main courses arrived it definitely was enough to kill a navy. I had 4 or 5 really big chicken fingers and a solid helping of fries. Stella had at least a dozen butterflied shrimp and the kids meal had 3 big chicken fingers. Stella shrimp were butterflied in such a way that each half had a complete coating of breading around them so that they were more like 2 fried shrimp connected to one tail. I had to admire the ingeniousness of getting that much breading on fried shrimp. I'd never seen it before. The adult chicken fingers were different from the kid's chicken fingers which I found odd. My fingers had a breading that looked a little like extra krispy KFC while the kid ones had a more standard flour breading. I've got to say, my chicken fingers were pretty decent. The kid ones, though, were pretty bad and the kids didn't even really like them. The fries were genuinely awful, I was only able to eat a couple. You can get other sides to go with your meal and I'm pretty sure I would order parking lot snow sludge as a side before I ordered those fries again.

I'm not a health food nut and my kids eat all manner of crap, from frozen chicken nuggets to mini tacos to frozen pizzas. We counterract that with plenty of running around, playing and walks (when the ground isn't covered in snow). I grew up eating all manner of crap, but I played baseball every day that it was warm enough and I didn't weigh 110 pounds until I graduated from high school. What I'm saying is, I think that moderate exercise can pretty much make up for whatever kids are eating. But, I really don't think, in good conscience, I could subject my kids to eating at Cheddar's more than once or twice a year. It's like the Hardee's of the fast casual concept. Stella took my 4 year old girls back last week for lunch while they were waiting on new glasses. Stella got a bacon cheeseburger that had 8 pieces of bacon on it. She had to play 3 straight hours of Rhythm Parade on Wii Fit just to work off half that burger.

We weren't able to eat all our food, so we brought home about 5 chicken fingers and 5 shrimp and at least one serving of french fries. But, the food is so heavily breaded and fried that it doesn't microwave that well (I probably should have put it in the toaster over). The kids definitely didn't like the leftovers the next day, so all the extra food doesn't make Cheddar's that great of a value. Our tab was about $35 for the appetizer, 2 entrees, one kid meal and 3 drinks. I can't recommend the kid meal. If you have 3 or more kids, just order an entree for them to share. Any less than 3 kids, share your entrees with them. You simply won't be able to eat all the food anyway and it doesn't keep well enough to have the leftovers. The food is good enough at Cheddar's, but I'm a firm believer that it's pretty hard to have bad tasting fried food.

Family Dining Chronicles - Foster's Grille

2010-01-12T18:04:00.012-06:00

I formulated an ingenious plan today in the shower. You see, Stella was going to be gone all day today, until well after the kids were going to be in bed. I had to come up with some way to entertain the kids for the full 14 hours of their day. My plan was kids shows in the morning, watch "Iron Man" together complete with popcorn for lunch (they ate really big breakfasts, don't judge me) then some free play time, then an early dinner at the newly opened Foster's Grille (119th and Metcalf behind the IHOP), with maybe a cameo by Stella. That would get us to the evening which would mean we could play a game (Blunders, Making Learning Manners Fun could be the game) or Wii Fit Rhythm Parade. That's a good full day that would keep the kids in line.

Foster's Grille intrigued me because they have hot dogs, hamburgers and hot wings in a kid friendly atmosphere, but not so kid friendly that they don't have beer on tap (in fact they had 5 taps, nothing more exotic than Boulevard Wheat). This is just the kind of place I'm looking to take my kids to eat. I'm hoping for good food, just because I have kids doesn't mean I'm checking my taste buds at the door. Unfortunately, that is exactly what places that cater to families have decided to do, dumb down the food to the point that it no longer has any taste (at best) or tastes awful (at worst).

Foster's appeals to more than just families so I was hoping for some good food. When we walked in the first thing the kids noticed was the Nascar looking car on the ceiling with Minnie Mouse hanging from it. My 2 and a half year old likes to point such things out by yelling "Minnie Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Minnie Mouse" as loud as he can upon seeing Minnie Mouse (or Lightning McQueen or Woody from Toy Story or any character from any movie he may have seen). Luckily, Foster's Grille is just the sort of place that can absorb a little kid's yelling. Not that it's loud or full of unruly kids, just that the noise doesn't strike anyone as annoying. The music is turned up loud enough to combat any kid noise and there's plenty of things to look at without having to get upset at someone else's unruly children. Since I have 3 kids under 5, this is the perfect atmosphere for me.

The ordering system at Foster's is a little different. You go up to the counter and get a menu pad and check the items you want, one sheet per customer, a little like ordering sushi at Kona. You can fill it out at the counter or or take it back to your table. The problem is, not all the menu items are on the pad and there didn't seem to be a place to write in additional items. When seated, my back was to the menu board behind the counter so I didn't know what other items there were nor did I know how much anything cost. I would have liked to have gotten onion rings, but I had no idea how to actually do that. I ended up getting 2 cheeseburgers with fries and fountain drinks along with 2 glasses of freshly squeezed lemonade. All the burgers and sandwiches come with fries and a fountain drink, so when I saw the price of the burgers, $8.95, I was taken aback but with fries and a drink, it seems in line with every other place of this type. I also ordered 3 hot wings, just to try them. I liked the option to just order any number of wings that you wanted. The whole meal cost $25, I can shave $5 off that total next time.

The food came out in short order. They called our names, we acknowledged it was us and they brought us our food. I split the kids' cheeseburger in 3 pieces and it was plenty to feed all of them. They also shared the fries which I would guess were about 50% more fries than you typically get with a meal. And the fries were just perfect wonderful specimens, the fries you wish Five Guys had. The kind of fries that scream to have malt vinegar poured over them instead of dipping them in ketchup. The kind of fries, you can forgive a substandard hamburger for. They were very nearly the perfect french fry, nice and crisp on the outside, fluffy fresh on the inside, nicely salted and wonderfully flavored. Seriously, go for the fries, don't substitute a garden salad for 95 cents. If you do, I will punch you in the nuts.

The cheeseburger was cooked very nicely to medium instead of medium well like most burgers. I enjoy that. I'd like to say the burger was great, but it wasn't. It lacked flavor, a little salt would have gone a long way. The cheese was plentiful, and helped bring a little flavor, but not quite enough to say this was anything better than an average burger. The hot wings, though, were very good. I wish they had other flavors other than buffalo, but, sometimes menu simplicity is warranted. I don't fault them for keeping it simple since the wings quite tasty, juicy and left me wanting more. I may even go with the wing entree (12 wings with fries and drink for $9.95) next time.

I love lemonade and drink a lot of it. I can safely say that the lemonade at Foster's is definitely not worth $1.85. It just wasn't very good. It didn't have the tartness I look for in lemonade.

The kids enjoyed themselves immensely which is saying something since no crayons were involved. I've yet to find the key to figuring out why the kids like certain restaurants and don't like others. But, restaurants that have crayons, ironically, are typically not that kid friendly. Foster's just didn't need to stoop to the crayon pandering. They also had enough food items that I can enjoy that I think we can keep Foster's in the rotation for family dinners. I should also note that the staff was super friendly and very willing to help out an outnumbered parent. I received multiple offers of help with carrying drinks, getting anything we might need like lids and straws etc. Some of this can be chalked up to a new staff on the second day open, but I think training shows. I think going forward we'll think of Foster's Grille staff being very friendly.

This is the first in a continuing series of family dining posts. It seems that most restaurant reviews in town leave out the family dining aspect of restaurants and eating out with my family is 95% of my eating out experiences. I know I'm not alone in this, so hopefully these reviews will be helpful to those of us in a family way. As stated above, what I'm really looking for is restaurants my kids will enjoy and have good enough food that I can enjoy them too. We're not taking the kids to Bluestem or Extra Virgin, so we need to find quality restaurants that are cheap enough that we don't mind if the kids don't eat everything on their plates. Also, I don't like the name I've given this, so if you have any better ideas, leave them in comments.

What Would You Do?

2009-12-30T08:55:00.004-06:00

What would you do?

After driving 3 hours

In the snow and ice

On Christmas Day

With 3 kids

Who hadn't eaten since 9:30

A full 10 hours before.

What would you do?

You open the door to your parents' home

And ask what they have to eat

Your mother says, "I have a casserole"

And you throw up in your mouth a little

You've spent a lifetime avoiding casseroles

Because of your mother's casseroles.

What would you do?

You see it go in the oven

It's some sort of mac and cheese with sausage on top

The sausage looks like moose droppings

Your mother's bad casserole rep was earned

But, you're completely starving.

And it's Christmas day.

What would you do?

We had to go to a movie theater

The Warren Old Town to be exact

To get a gift certificate anyway

They have a bar and restaurant there

It's sure to be open.

What would you do?

We abandoned the kids

Their casserole fate was sealed

And headed into downtown Wichita

Not a creature was stirring

Not even a hobo.

The Warren Old Town had changed

The restaurant wasn't where it was.

What would you do?

I asked the ticket lady what was open

"Nothing downtown" was the reply

She then explained that they had excellent food*

Right there in the bar

So, that is what we did

Sat down at the bar

And perused the menu

With a Boulevard Wheat and Single Wide.

What would you do?

The menu could have been from anywhere

TGIFriday's, Applebee's, Cheddar's or Chili's

We decided on southwest egg rolls and jalapeno poppers

In retrospect, if we had listened closely

We would have heard the freezer open and close

When you're hungry you can eat nearly anything

The egg rolls and poppers were evidence of that

But, the hunger was sated for the time being

Unfortunately, we were down 30 bucks.

The beers were good though.

What would you do?

I'm really asking.

I don't know the answer

Because the Warren Old Town certainly

Was Not It.

*Taking food recommendations from a Wichitan is definitely tricky business. They simply don't have the restaurant options we have in KC. The scene is dominated by chains and fast food restaurants. Wichita is the birthplace of such fast food mainstays as Pizza Hut and White Castle and there are many local fast food chains. A Wichitan typically cannot give a solid food recommendation unless they've lived somewhere else for over 5 years or have an aversion to fast food.

Death By Food: Cheddar's Edition

2009-12-16T09:16:00.003-06:00

I hope you're happy smh. Cheddar's officially opened on Monday, December 14, and I was there on Tuesday. I packed up the family. I drove down the street. I took the first step towards the end of my life by eating the "Cheddar's favorite" Monte Cristo.

2 kinds of meat. 2 kinds of cheese. Battered & fried. Served with powdered sugar and raspberry preserves. It's no wonder that I fit comfortably into a standard Cheddar's booth if that is a favorite item of the normal Cheddar's customer. IT'S A MEAT FUNNEL CAKE WITH DIPPING JAM. I think my wife was actually concerned for my life.

It was good, but I could never eat one again. I was fine with it after the first corner. The second corner had me at full capacity. Corners three and four were an act of self-hate. I would compare it to a night of drinking shots, and you end up throwing up and can never go back to that liquor again. The only good thing that came out of the evening was that I was so full that I had no desire to eat my fries, which were horrendous. Easily in the top five worst fries I've had in my life. I would rather eat Burger King fries.

As for my take on Cheddar's as a whole, it's OK. It looks like Houlihan's and tastes like Applebee's. Actually, it may taste better than Applebee's, but only because Cheddar's likely uses twice the fat content in their food. Prices seem pretty cheap, with only a couple steaks slipping over the $10 mark. Due to the quality of their fries and my wife's red beans & rice looking so bad I declined to taste them, you should definitely do yourself a favor and opt for a fresh vegetable side to help offset the lard injection from your entree. If someone wanted to eat near my house, I would go back. But that is more of a statement against TGI Friday's, Applebee's Outback, Mimi's, etc than in favor of Cheddar's.

El Chupacabra Sighting!

2009-12-15T12:41:00.005-06:00

One thing I hate about new restaurants is the anticipation. In most cases, these spots do horrible jobs of pimping themselves out prior to opening. There's just a void of information out there, and I'm here to fill it. Perhaps this will inspire places to put some information out there so the first thing that comes up on Google isn't an opinion based on nothing but how bitchin' your logo looks.

All that aside...how bitchin' does this logo look?!?!?

When this place first popped up, they had a cheap banner out front that said "Horny Toads" featuring a horned toad laying alluringly on his side. Needless to say, I was filled with a need to experience all the Horny Toad had to offer. Weeks went by and nothing happened. Now all of North Kansas City is being ravished by El Chupacabra fever. By all of NKC, I mean 3 guys from Johnson County driving by during lunch.

Little is known about El Chupacabra other than it being a mythical, Mexican, goat-eating creature that will reside at 2417 Burlington St in Kansas City, MO. There are signs in the window stating that they will open soon and that there is absolutely no solicitation. There is a noticeable lack of goat carcasses in the parking lot, which totally makes me think this place isn't legit.

Carb Loadin'

2009-12-14T13:13:00.002-06:00

While visiting our in-laws a few months back, I was treated to the rare occasion of actually not eating a homemade meal. The act of eating out turns into a much bigger adventure when you leave someplace like KC for a small town on the border of Minnesota and South Dakota. They called in an order to some bar called Extra Innings, which featured wraps made out of pizza dough called "paninos." I went with the Chicken Parmesan and was delighted to find a wrap that contained pasta, minimal cheese and a over-baked chicken patty. There was a cup of sauce on the side, but the dryness of all ingredients cooked together was too much to overcome. Pasta inside of a wrap may be one of the most epically bad food decisions ever made. After that night, I never imagined I would encounter it again.

I did cross it again though, and it was just as awful. This next encounter featured spaghetti and meatballs with sauce actually in the wrap. The sauce definitely makes it easier to eat, but the meatball was hardly present. Instead of meatballs, it might make more sense to lay an Italian sausage down the length of the wrap so it's there for every bite. Or perhaps just meat sauce. Or maybe....just maaaaaaybe...you fill the wrap with canned pasta. And if you really want to make sure the meat is in there, you have to go with mini meat-filled raviolis and meatballs.

The first step, which is highly important, is to drain the liquid. This helps make sure the sauce doesn't get your tortilla wrap too moist and ruin the integrity. I suggest pouring it into a cup to use as an enchilada sauce later.

Next, just slop some raviolis and meatballs out the can. Frankly, I think a wrap may be the preferred way to eat this product because it allows you to avoid as much eye contact with the food as possible.

Finally, I just wrapped them up Chipotle-style and threw them in the microwave to heat up the innards. Microwave the crap out of them. Mine were only lukewarm and elicited a gagging reaction. The original plan was to eat these in order to make a co-worker throw up, and that plan nearly backfired tragically. Potato Skins and Sunkist were lovely compliments in both taste and color scheme.

Aixois

2009-12-14T10:03:00.008-06:00

Something this city needs is more French bistros. I really crave a croque monsieur on a regular basis and don't have many places to go to get one. That's why this weekend Stella and I were looking for someplace new to try and we decided on Aixois, a place we'd meant to go for years now.

Aixois is a nice looking place on Brookside Blvd. in the Crestwood Shops that always looks inviting as you are being as white as you can be driving from the Plaza to Brookside. It's quite charming inside the long dining room and we were seated along the back wall in the booth and chair type table (one side has the booth seating and the other has a lone chair, it's important to picture this for the rest of the story). Stella sat in the booth seat and I sat in the chair with my back exposed to the rest of the restaurant (which I hate). Luckily a the back wall is a mirror so I could see everything behind me so there wasn't much of a possibility I would get shivved from behind without me seeing the assailant coming.

I had kinda assumed I was going to get the croque monsieur but as I looked at the menu the moules et frites looked the most appetizing. I was still a little full from the 10 oz. prime rib at Hereford House from the night before and a ham sandwich just wasn't the most appealing thing to me. But I really wanted some pommes frites and mussels always sound good to me. Stella decided on one of the daily specials, a seafood crepe with shrimp and a cup of french onion soup along with a Diet Coke.

The Diet Coke came out in one of those little 8 oz. bottles. To me, this is ridiculous. They have a full service bar at Aixois with, I'm assuming, has a Coke and Diet Coke shooter in it. It annoys me to no end that restaurants serve those little bottles instead of giving you your soda off the tap. It is acceptable in older buildings with no space, but Aixois wasn't really limited in space for a soda fountain. It just seems pretentious with no cause to serve those little bottles and charge $2 for them and then not give refills.

As we were waiting for our order to arrive a middle aged couple was seated next to us. Instead of doing the traditional one in the booth the other in the chair, they decided to turn the 36 in. X 38 in. (I don't know the exact measurements but the table was very close to a square, but was a rectangle) table around so the widest part was in front of them as they were seated together on the booth side. Keep in mind that this means they are sitting right next to Stella because the seating was arranged for 1 person to sit there. So instead of having room next to her, she had a little bit of space and then an extremely arrogant, annoying, loud male type figure next to her. The couple then proceeded to order rosé wine. The lady of the couple was perfectly lovely, but the guy was just a giant jackass. I thought that he might have been coked up to his gills. He complained about their winter home, cheap $200 watches that he had to replace every 2 years (he had had enough and they were going to go to Tivol to get an acceptable one after lunch) and their daughter's choice of classes at the university. We assumed that their daughter was going to school on one of the coasts so as to get as far from her douche dad as possible.

Finally our food arrived after about a 20 minute wait. I was quite impressed with the mussels as the meat was quite plentiful in each one, about the size of a quarter. They were served in a shallot, herb and wine broth that, frankly, smelled horrid. But each mussel was perfectly cooked and flavorful. The pommes frites were a little thicker than I thought they should be and just a little moist. But, they were well seasoned and wonderfully tasty. Stella raved about her crepe but thought the french onion soup was just okay which was a disappointment.

Aixois seems to be real popular with people out to celebrate something. At a table in the corner a guy was celebrating his 65th birthday with his family. At a table behind us a woman was receiving gifts from her girlfriends. Another table had a family celebrating someone's birthday. The place was full on a Saturday at 12:30 but there was no wait for a table so it is perfect for a spur of the moment lunch. Our total with tip was near $30 so it's not inexpensive but good for a splurgy type of lunch. I liked my meal and Stella liked hers, but it wasn't world changing. I'd call the whole meal an average lunch. The Frenchness of Aixois gives it some caché and class, but it's price and quality doesn't distinguish it. I'd love for KC to have more places like Aixois though, simply to make the French bistro a little more accessible for those of us who aren't going to go to Tivol after lunch.

Frozen Pizza Chronicles - Red Baron Fire Baked Crust

2009-12-11T09:52:00.004-06:00

I've been eating frozen pizzas my entire lifetime. My favorite all-time is the Dish deep dish pepperoni, but I enjoy a simple $1.50 Totino's pepperoni quite regularly. I've tried just about every kind out there. As you can imagine, some are inedible (Jack's and Jeno's come to mind), some are kinda enjoyable (California Pizza Kitchen, DiGiornio) but not quite worth the price.

Typically a frozen pizza should be sized so I can eat it alone in one sitting. It just doesn't seem right to share a frozen pizza, though the Dish is a notable exception. As I was perusing Facebook the other night one of my friends, The Hoosier, was touting the new Red Baron Fire Baked Crust pepperoni pizza as the best frozen pizza he's ever had. I wrote to him that can't possibly be true because The Dish makes the best frozen pizza. The Hoosier agreed that The Dish is mighty fine, but takes forever to cook and costs quite a bit ($6-$8). Based on his measurements of relatively cheap with short cooking time, I can picture the pizza being better.I haven't had a Red Baron pizza since college where I ate quite a few. I probably haven't had a Red Baron pizza sober since I was in Jr. High and I didn't enjoy them then. I only ate them in college because I was hungry at 2 AM and QT sold Red Baron pizzas. Granted this is a post about frozen pizza but I've never been drunk enough or hungry enough (had I smoked the weed in college I think I might have gotten stoned enough) to eat the QT sandwiches of that era. I never enjoyed a single Red Baron pizza and that was the reason I didn't immediately buy the Fire Baked Crust when I saw it at the store last week.

For a pizza The Hoosier was touting as cheap, $4.49 seemed kinda steep to me, but it was a nice size, right on the border of what I can eat in one sitting. It also took a really long time to cook for a pizza The Hoosier was touting as much quicker than The Dish. I cooked mine right at 20 minutes, but it took a good 10 minutes to get the heat up to 450. A Totino's pizza takes about 1/3rd of the time of the Red Baron, but is also kinda awful so you take the good with the bad.

I used The Hoosier tip of letting it sit for six minutes before cutting it up. Unfortunately for me I was also making lunch for the kids (angel hair pasta with a lemon basil Parmesan vinaigrette, a Vard house favorite), so the 6 minutes turned into at least 10. But once I did cut it and eat it, I was pleasantly surprised, very pleasantly. I could definitely get behind the sentiment of best frozen pizza ever. Unlike most frozen pizzas, it had a good amount of sauce, so it wasn't dry like most frozen pizzas. The crust had a good crisp and thickness to it. You could definitely taste it was a frozen crust, but it's a very good to great frozen crust. The cheese and pepperoni were plentiful and tasty.

As a whole, the pizza is excellent and I'd rather have a Red Baron Fire Baked Crust pizza than any offering from Pizza Hut, Papa John's or the like. When you see them on sale at the grocery pick a couple up and keep them in the freezer for the lazy Sunday lunch or Manic Monday dinner. If you feel strongly about a frozen pizza that I haven't covered in this post, let me know in comments, I'll give it a try.

Thanksgiving - Going Rogue

2009-11-23T14:30:00.005-06:00

To me Thanksgiving is a pretty horrible holiday. Sure it's nice to have a couple of days off and see family and such but the actual meal is awful. I don't mean this to be an attack on those who have prepared my Thanksgiving meals over the years, I mean it to be an attack on the food.

First off, turkey is horrible. It doesn't much matter how it's prepared, it's dry and pretty tasteless. I know, I know, you have a recipe that makes it good, or you fry it and it's wonderful. That's all bull, turkey sucks, you know it and I know it. Why don't we have duck or goose or even chicken if we must eat a bird. Turkey is food for people on a diet, not for celebratory eating.

Not only is turkey horrid, most home cooks aren't properly prepared to cook it right. So you have already stressed home cooks trying to cook some fowl meat that is naturally devoid of fat/flavor. Gee, thanks, that sounds great. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if turkey was any good, you'd make it at home more than once a year.

Perhaps because turkey is so hard to do right or because of the sheer volume of food that is needed, the rest of the meal is like a Sandra Lee show gone horribly wrong. How many cans of food must be killed every Thanksgiving before the carnage ends? Thanksgiving sucks because it's casserole friendly. There's sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, broccoli casserole or any number of other casseroles. All these casseroles have 2 things in common, canned/frozen vegetables and cream of mushroom soup. I don't have much against canned or frozen vegetables, fresh is of course better, but frozen cauliflower or corn or whatever is sometimes the better option. Cream of mushroom soup, however, is never acceptable. It's a deal breaker for me and it's a part of way too many casseroles.

Casseroles are also pot luck and travel friendly so guests can bring someting to Thanksgiving so the host doesn't do all the cooking. Say it with me, casseroles aren't the answer. What casseroles are, is gross. Just the sight of 9 out of 10 casseroles makes me sick. Is a dinner where I'm going to have to pass something that the mere sight makes me throw up in my mouth sound like fun to you? Me neither.

Nearly every Thanksgiving I've been to, I've only been able to eat two or 3 of the menu items. And that's only if there's ham. I usually end up eating rolls and mashed potatoes. If you're unlucky enough to have to travel to a Thanksgiving or hosting your own, you then have to eat leftover turkey and casserole for the next 3 days. It sucked on Thursday, it's going to be 75% worse by Saturday.

My solution to all of this is simple. Pare the meal down, way down. Dump the turkey, make a roast or a ham. Try to make a fresh vegetable, like a ratatouille, sauteed cauliflower, steamed broccoli or something like that. A macaroni and cheese or cheesy potato dish that can be made ahead of time is another nice side dish. If you feel like you still need mashed potatoes or stuffing go ahead and add them too. That's about it other than the bread. All of the creamy side dishes should go by the wayside. It's all just too much and needless. Your host wants to enjoy everyone's company as well so let them by not expecting 10 dishes. My guess is that more food gets wasted on Thanksgiving than any other day of the year and it's wasted because it's gross.

The only other thing to make the day go better would be to dump the Lions from the traditional Thanksgiving day football game and schedule the previous year's Superbowl winner on that day instead. That way we have a better shot at seeing a good football team play. I'd prefer to get rid of the Cowboys too, but over the past 20 years they've been pretty good most years.

This should go without saying, but drink good beer or wine on Thanksgiving. Splurge and buy a couple of Smokestack series beers to take to your host's house instead of a casserole. Go ask your local wine merchant what wine you should be serving at Thanksgiving and get a couple of bottles of each or ask your guests to bring their choice from a list of 5 or 6 wines.

I'm probably never going to get rid of my annual date with green bean casserole, turkey and Detroit Lions football, but a boy can dream. I just have to focus on the good things about the holiday, good beer and my family, and enjoy my long weekend.

Happy Thanksgiving? In my mind there's no such thing.

Breakfast Wars

2009-11-16T13:04:00.003-06:00

For those of you not living on the outskirts of the Kansas suburbs, you probably aren't aware of the war being waged at 151st & Metcalf. Last Thursday, Dunkin Donuts opened their first new location since exiting the KC metro many years ago. Since I live 50 blocks from there and work even farther, I made no effort to make to their hoopla that was extensively covered on Twitter as well as via radio, newspaper, etc.

So on Saturday I decided to make the trip south after dropping off some recycling. For some reason, I thought the line wouldn't be as bad mid-Saturday morning after being open for 3 days. I was wrong.

I just went through the completely vacant Hardee's drive-thru to enjoy the best fast food breakfast available. This is especially true since they brought back hash rounds as a choice over country potatoes. This is the view from my crappy cell phone camera as I exit Hardee's. Lots and lots of little heads floating if you squint.

While I was expecting that there could be a line at Dunkin, I was not expecting an onslaught of McDonald's mascots offering free food.

What is a cinnamon melt? What in the hell is Grimace? Why are they standing in front of Taco Bell? The McDonald's is to the right. Another two McDonald's employees and the Hamburglar were working the previous corner. As for the cinnamon melts? Pretty glad I didn't stop.

Get Your Groupon

2009-11-16T10:46:00.005-06:00

Until a matter of minutes ago, I really had no idea what Groupon was, but they have opened a Kansas City chapter starting today. The basic premise is that they offer some sort of deal where you pay x to get larger amount y. The catch is that the deal only kicks in when z amount of people buy in. It seems like a pretty good idea since they actually give you incentive to bug the crap out of your friends, and I would hope it is something that involves mostly local places.

The first Groupon is for Woodyard Bar-B-Que and nets you $15 worth of food for $7. You can purchase into it anytime today up until midnight, and enough people have bought in already that you will get the deal. If this isn't the deal for you and you don't want to visit the site every day, it looks like they have a Twitter account setup.

What I really like about the Groupon site is that they give some great info on the place from local blogs. It looks like they might just be raping UrbanSpoon's content, but it's nice that they throw that info in for easy access and credit local bloggers.

Mi Ranchito Vindicated

2009-11-06T08:09:00.002-06:00

The KC Star is reporting that two people have been charged for putting pesticide in the salsa of Mi Ranchito's 95th & I-35 Location. Prosecutors allege that the husband and wife did it out of spite after being let go by the restaurant.

This has to be great news for the owners of Mi Ranchito. Hopefully this should spike their business back up, although we drove by the location on several locations and it was still packed while the situation was under investigation.

Cheese for Crackas

2009-11-02T09:58:00.004-06:00

If Applebee's, TGI Friday's, Mimi's and Houlihan's weren't enough for you, get ready residents of Lenexa and the greater KC area. That's right, they torn down a Firestone outside of Oak Park Mall and moved it 2 blocks down the street so they could open a Cheddar's!!!

To be honest, I've never eaten at a Cheddar's. Aside from possibly hearing the name in passing, I have no idea what it might be. But one look at their menu shows that it is the next restaurant right by my house that I'll never eat at. At least when TGI Friday's runs out of mozzarella sticks, you'll only have to walk across the parking lot rather than across the street to get your fix.

A couple interesting facts from the Cheddar's website. Apparently they don't advertise. They also want you to be as serviced and comfortable as possible while you're inside their walls. While I'm not interested in eating at Cheddar's, I may not be opposed to some romantic involvement.

Shatto Pumpkin Spice Eggnog

2009-10-21T11:55:00.003-05:00

Sunday night I picked up my first bottle of Shatto eggnog of the season ($3.99, $2.50 if you have a bottle to return). The first of many. Honestly, Anderson Erickson makes my favorite eggnog, but Shatto's is very good and is a little lighter with the nutmeg. The temperature and my need for nutmeg have an inverse relationship, as the temperature drops I will be craving the nutmeg heavy Anderson Erickson nog.

I found out from Chimpotle after I drank some nog that Shatto was coming out with a pumpkin spice eggnog today. It was a long couple of days wait, but finally today came. After dropping off my girls at preschool, the boy and I went over to Hy-Vee and picked up a bottle of pumpkin spice eggnog.

It's quite fabulous. It tastes more like pumpkin pie than eggnog. It kind of makes me question what the property is that makes eggnog, eggnog. I'm guessing it's eggs but that would make a Tom and Jerry eggnog wouldn't it? Like Jimmy Buffett, I'm not going to ponder the question too long. I'm just going to enjoy my Shatto pumpkin spice eggnog.

I somehow have to make this bottle last until the weekend or I'm going to OD on nog.

KC on $40/Day

2009-10-20T18:46:00.002-05:00

I got a day off from being a housedad yesterday, so Stella and I had the opportunity to get out to some good restaurants. We decided I would pick her up for lunch. Since Stella is the prototypical Johnson County woman; mother and works for a nonprofit doctoring type outfit in Leawood, we were stuck eating somewhere in the Leawood area. When I left the house I had it in my head I was going to try some fried shrimp po'boys from Westchase Grill but my heart was telling me we should go to Blanc Burgers and Bottles. Once I found Tomahawk Creek Parkway and her actual building (they all look the same out there, luckily I was tipped off that it had a fountain) I had decided to go with my heart. I wasn't going to try someplace new, I was going to go to Blanc for a burger.

Stella offered no objection to a Blanc burger so we headed over to Blanc in the Mission Farms development. Luckily for me, Tomahawk Creek Parkway turns into Mission Rd. on the north side of 435 so I at least understood the street names and could find Mission Farms rather easily. We each got the lunch special which is one of five burgers and your choice of fries, sweet potato fries or onion rings or you can go with one of a couple of salads. I got the burger au poivre with regular fries and Stella got the classic with onion rings. I would have got the sweet potato fries but I wanted a piece of Stella's O-ring and she only enjoys a good stiff fry in return, sweet potato fries don't typically cut it.

My au poivre burger was excellent and in my book, the second best burger in town behind the Blanc Kobe burger. Stella's basic burger was good, but she agreed the au poivre one was better. She was concerned it would be too peppery, but confirmed that it was not. With the lunch special you don't get your side order in the fun little shopping carts, they just come on the plate and are about half portions which meant only four onion rings. The fries were nice, but once you've had the truffle fries there, it's hard to appreciate the regular fries. I wish they had a deluxe lunch special with the Kobe burger and truffle fries for $12 or something like that, the extra $3 (the regular lunch special is $9) would give people a great value for the best burger lunch they'll ever have. In any case the $9 special is plenty special and we got out of Blanc for under $25 (with tip) full and happy.

I dropped Stella off back at work (I'm pretty sure her building is 90% women as I didn't see any guys at all) and ran a couple of errands. I then went to see "Paranormal Activity" to try and scare myself silly. Shortly after I got home from the movie, Stella got home from work. We decided we weren't really that hungry after the Blanc meal and thought it a good idea to try out the small plates at Extra Virgin's happy hour.

Extra Virgin's (19th and Main) happy hour lasts from 11:30 - 6 and includes about half the menu at half price. What is already a fairly priced restaurant for what it is transforms into a very affordable meal during happy hour. We decided to each get a small plate and then share one since we weren't that hungry. I would suggest, if you're making a meal of it to at least get 2 plates each with another plate for every 2 people to share. I wouldn't get more than 3 plates per person, because you do end up getting plenty to eat on each small plate. Most of the items are between $8 and $12 so at half price they're $4 - $6, you've spent more on fried appetizers at Chili's. The Extra Virgin small plates have the added benefit of using quality ingredients.

The empanadas caught my eye but I didn't know what cabrito was so I had to ask our lovely waitress. She told me cabrito was baby goat at which point I got very excited. Since it was baby goat it likely hadn't been molested by Chimpotle. The waitress said she either gets my reaction or people are horrified. I knew I was going to have the cabrito empanadas. I was a little upset that the braised pork cheeks were not one of the half price plates. That was the only item that would have gotten me away from the cabrito empanadas.

Stella was a bit torn between the duck leg confit, the chicken thighs stuffed with figs and chorizo and the prosciutto raviolis. She went with the prosciutto raviolis. For our shared plate we got the baked mussels with herb garlic butter. I think I could eat every meal with some mussels.

I don't think 4 prettier empanadas have ever been made. They were absolutely perfect looking served atop what they called a green olive salsa. From the first bite, I knew that these were going to be the best thing I ate all day. They were just perfect, I don't even have a nit to pick with them. Perfect spice, perfect tenderness, the pastry was just the right consistency to go with the tender meat, even the olive salsa added a nice little bite to each bite. On a day where I ate a Blanc burger, the cabrito empanadas were the best thing I ate that day.

Stella's raviolis were quite wonderful as well. They were gloriously light and perfectly flavored with the chimichurri. If I'd known chimichurri was involved with those raviolis, my initial cabrito decision would have been made harder.

The mussels were the worst part of our little meal. That's not to say they were bad, they weren't, they just had some stellar competition. They came on a very hot plate, each mussel covered in a little breading. The ones I squeezed enough lemon on were absolutely wonderful. The ones without enough lemon seemed just a little dry and the flavors were muted to a point that each mussel was just mediocre.

Everything was just so good we couldn't leave without one more item, the churros and chocolate. Stella loves Churros so much I almost believe that her German ancestors mistook a Mexican for a Jew a long time ago and enslaved him to make them churros all the live long day. For $5 you get 5 little churros (3 or 4 bites each) and a ramekin of chocolate. The chocolate was a shade too bitter for the 2 of us but it was very good. The churros themselves were excellent. The combination of the 2 was just about perfect with only the chocolate being a tad too bitter being the nit that needs picking. I think our tab for the whole thing including drinks and tip was about $35.

I don't really eat breakfast but I did have some Shatto eggnog with some granola with spiced figs which probably cost about $1.50. My lunch was about $13 and dinner was about $20. I ate the best KC has to offer for under $40. Rachael Ray is my bitch.

Say Cheese

2009-10-18T19:22:00.005-05:00

Saturday evening, while recovering from the glory that was Beerfest, I saw a Facebook update from Shatto Milk Company saying their hotly anticipated cheeses would be available at the Whole Foods at 93rd & Metcalf. Needless to say, I was in the door around 4PM and casing the joint for creamy goodness. Not being familiar with healthy food or comfortable in the company of hippies, I wasn't quite sure where to start. A quick peek in the dairy section will net you a lovely bag of cheddar cheese curds. Like the milk and ice cream products before them, the plastic bag of curds sport the black text on the right. They might say "squeaky," but some better words might be salty and/or delicious. But the real stars of the show were just around the corner.

Wedges and wheels and samples, oh my!

Lucky for me, Whole Foods was slicing up samples of each of the five cheeses to taste before having to drop $10 on a half-pound wedge. Of the five aged cheeses, two are cheddar followed by a smoked gouda, havarti and port salut. I pressed hard for the gouda, but we ended up walking out with the port salut (which they labeled/named Perrin) and the Lilly cheddar.

Shatto hopes to have the cheeses more wildly distributed in the near future, but for now Whole Foods is your only option. I doubt they will have samples out every day, but as long as you go with what you like, I don't think you can go wrong. My two favorites were the gouda and havarti, and I happily walked out with two completely different offerings. It feels like Shatto has hit another home run with this venture into the premium cheese market. And now for some cheese porn...

Curds in the way

Sharp looking cheddar

Cutting the cheese

Wendy's REAL crappy idea

2009-10-15T12:26:00.005-05:00

Forgive me while I vent over the death of my favorite fast food sandwich of all time, the Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich.

Don't be mistaken, the sandwich still exists. I choked one down a mere moments ago. But it was the last until Wendy's rights the wrong they have committed. Give me back my bun!!!

I knew things would never be the same once Wendy's got purchased by those Arby's sons of bitches. But to my surprise, Wendy's stayed strong and kept providing me with stellar spicy chicken sandwiches. Until Tuesday night. Tuesday night, I stopped to grab one on the way home and something wasn't right. The bun was just...meh. I chalked it up to stopping late and probably getting something I don't even want to know about. Cut to today and the first day of non-catered lunch this week. Cut to today and my second awful spicy chicken. It's the same damn bun. And if you don't think the bun is that big of a deal, please look at that picture above again. Shit's like all bun. Why do you all of the sudden just change a bun?

Apparently because you've got a REAL shitty new ad campaign. I know it's real when I taste my favorite sandwich for the past decade and want to spit it out. I'm not sure why trying to re-brand your burgers to keep up with everyone else means putting the new hamburger bun on your chicken sandwiches. Wendy's, you've gone and taken a big crap on my heart, which is actually pretty psyched at the news I won't be eating these anymore.

So yeah, Wendy's has new buns. I think they taste like crap and have a sticky-ish texture. They will be retaining the old, familiar buns for small sandwiches like the Jr Bacon and such.

Checked Out

2009-10-12T09:45:00.004-05:00

I'm not what you would call a fan of public television, but after seeing this season's schedule for Check, Please! Kansas City, I've spent the last few weeks suffering through episodes to see the person who suggested U-Gene's Deli & Pizza. It did not disappoint. If the U-Gene's logo to the right isn't creepy enough for you, you should really check out the pile of awful that is their website.

I've eaten at U-Gene's numerous times, and I will probably eat there again. I wouldn't say the food is bad, but the fact that anyone would go on a show to vouch for the place boggles my mind. I love Taco Via, I gave it 5-stars on Yelp, but it is a complete shit hole. There are some places that should never be recommended but simply stumbled upon, U-Gene's is one of those places.

The Check, Please! intro sold U-Gene's as the only good alternative a woman from Chicago could find to Chicago-style pizza. U-Gene's doesn't serve Chicago-style pizza or anything closely resembling it. I only eat at U-Gene's for lunch, so perhaps I'm missing the boat since the lady said the pizza isn't as good at lunch. Huh? They make a shitty version of their food just for the lunch crowd? That makes sense. While this lady dished out the praise, the look of disgust from the man who suggested Blue Koi filled me with delight. It almost made me wonder if they aren't allowed to be too harsh on a selection, because that guy looked like he wanted to go off. Had I been on this episode of Check, Please! and asked for my final summary, it would have went something like, "Greasy pizza and crispy sandwiches. Great for helping out with a bowel movement or when you're completely drunk."

My second favorite moment of the show came while they were reviewing Blanc Burgers & Bottles. Best burger is a very hotly contested claim, and while Blanc completely does it for me, I'm willing to accept other opinions. Willing unless you're the type of person who goes on TV to hype up U-Gene's. The lady said Blanc wasn't even the best burger she had that week, and then left us all hanging. If U-Gene's is your favorite restaurant in KC, where is your favorite burger from? Sonic? I need to know.

If you're interested in future episodes of Check, Please! I suggest circling 10/22 on your calendar. Hayes Hamburgers will be featured. The one time I have eaten at Hayes, the grill cook had a custom Chiefs jersey and no teeth, and we watched a woman behind the counter individually slice a ziploc bag of 50 hot dogs. Thank you, Check, Please! for celebrating some of the Northland's finest.

I Say Meh

2009-10-10T17:00:00.007-05:00

Ever since Stella saw You Say Tomato (2801 Holmes) on the PBS show "Check Please" she has wanted to go. You see, for a Nebraskan, like Stella, bierocks, which they call Runzas because of the ubiquitous Nebraska chain, are irresistible. Since there just aren't that many places around town that sell bierocks once she hears of one, we have to go.

So this weekend we had the chance after some shopping on the Plaza (we picked up the pumpkin pecan butter from Williams-Sonoma to make these). Before today I've never been to the Dutch Hill neighborhood, I just never make it that far east in midtown. I only know the name of the neighborhood because it was noted in the Ferruzza review of You Say Tomato that was posted at our table.

You Say Tomato is in the only building in the neighborhood that isn't industrial or a house (at least on Holmes). I would describe the building as decoratively worn, others might call it rundown, still others might call it charming. I think the description of the outside will vary based on how much someone might like what's inside. Inside is an oddly little laid out restaurant. They want you to call it a grocery too and they do have some items for sale, but if you're going there for anything other than fresh fruit you're probably not going to find what you want. On the left hand side is the grocery section, on the right hand side about 10 mismatched tables, in the back is an open kitchen and counter to do your ordering.

We weren't able to find a table that would fit all of us (Stella, me and the 3 kids). Luckily a youngish couple sitting at a really large table for 6 agreed to move to a smaller table so we could sit at the big table. Once we got the kids sat down and situated, I went up to the counter to order. I knew everyone else was having a bierock I just had to figure out what I was going to have. They have quite a selection of make your own sandwiches (choose your bread, meat, toppings etc.), knishs (which were tempting) a panini of the week, a couple of salads and soups and a bunch of breakfast items which I guess they serve all day. I decided to go with a BLT.

I sat down at the table and tried to control the 2 year old while I read the framed Ferruzza review (pretty glowing). He made a point about You Say Tomato reminding him of what restaurants in KC were like in the 1930's. But I don't think that's right, I could see this place being straight outta the 90's, 1890's that is. Something about it seemed like we should be eating by candlelight. I'm sure I'm remembering it wrong now, but it seemed like the only light in the place was coming from the big windows in the front of the space. Ferruzza also wrote "the kitchen isn't really snappy even on slow days". I can't attest to what it's like on a slow day, but the fact that I committed that quote to memory as I was sitting might be saying something about what it's like on a pretty busy afternoon.

When our food did get to the table it looked pretty great. The bierocks were freshly baked and extremely hot. My BLT looked really good with bacon sticking out in every direction. This is the first time I've ever seen slices of watermelon as a side dish, but each plate had a slice of watermelon. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, this was a welcome development. I get the feeling that whatever they have that's fresh and good will come out as the side dish on any given day. I got my BLT on sourdough, my favorite sandwich bread and it was lightly toasted. I should have ordered it with a lighter application of mayo but I wasn't expecting the amount of mayo it actually had on it. I think there was enough on there for about 5 sandwiches, but I'm not a big fan of mayo so I could be wrong. Each half of the sandwich had 3 thick slices of really ripe and red tomatoes and something like 6 slices of bacon. It's a nice sized sandwich and for $6.95 it should be.

As for taste, the BLT worked. It didn't change my life or anything but I enjoyed it. As I suspected, the mayo was omnipresent. A BLT can only be as good as the tomatoes and these just weren't the best tasting tomatoes around. I think with a little bit of salt they would have been wonderful. Without the salt they were a little bland but plenty juicy. The bacon, as always, was good and even though there was a lot of bacon on it, I found myself wanting more, namely to balance out the mayo a little more.

Stella really enjoyed her bierock, though she noted there were some large cabbage chunks in it that would have been better chopped a little finer. For $6 it was quite a lot of meat and about double the size of a Runza. A better unit of measurement for most people might be the size of a Chipotle burrito, the bierock was about the size of a well filled Chipotle burrito. One of the kids didn't really like her bierock but she ate it anyway. My 2 year old boy absolutely loved it though and he ate a full half of one of the bierocks. Between the 3 kids they ate almost all of 2 bierocks, leaving mostly the bread coating. When we were done eating there was no evidence watermelon has any red in it. If my boy had had his way there would have been no evidence watermelon was a part of the meal.

Going to You Say Tomato is a little like going to your kind of weird aunt's house. The aunt your dad tells you really experienced the 60's, the aunt who's never really had what most people would call a job, the aunt who has a lot of "trinkets" laying around. Her house is full of mismatched furniture and antiques, but the antiques were all picked up at curbside. Inevitably you have a good time at the weird aunt's house because it's just so different from what you're used to but if you stayed there for a week, you'd get a little tired of the place. Now that I've been to You Say Tomato, I'm good for a while, maybe next summer. It's not that there's anything wrong with the place, there's just not much for me. For others, namely those that love the weird aunt's place or are the weird aunt, it may be the bee's knees.

Tacos Via the 80's

2009-10-05T13:53:00.010-05:00

Walking into Taco Via (95th and Metcalf) the other night was like going back in time, literally. I'd read on Yelp that the place hasn't changed at all in twenty years. They even had a sign hanging by the register advertising a mexi-pizza as new that I would guess was introduced to the menu in 1998. The menu board had a picture of each item. You could tell the chronology of when the items were added by how faded the pictures were. The tacos picture looked almost like a negative. The decor looked like it was lifted from a Hardee's remodel site in the 80's. I was immediately impressed.

I was quite hungry from a day of working in my yard building a raised garden. For some reason hard manual labor always puts me in the mood for either barbecue or tacos. On this day it was tacos as I had run across a couple of 5 star reviews for Taco Via earlier in the day. When I see something like that and find that most people have rated it very highly, I feel I must check it out.

Taco Via is so retro they had white kids working behind the counter. No immigrants at Taco Via (not that that's a bad thing), no Taco Via goes old school, from the times before the minimum wage got so high that an unskilled 16 year old could actually work in fast food. The kids even looked like they were from the 80's or at the very least from the movie "Adventureland". Next time I go in I'm going to wear my pinch rolled jeans with a Z. Cavaricci t-shirt and puka shell necklace* because Taco Via reminded me so much of the time when we hung out at the Taco Tico (Wichita fast food taco place) in high school.

*Sure it's easy to think I was a douche in high school because I wore a puka shell necklace and it would be true if I went to Shawnee Mission East or Blue Valley North. But, it's not true. I went to an inner city high school in Wichita, things were tough. You could only wear a puka shell necklace at my school if you had stabbed someone or killed a drifter (you could only wear beads if you stabbed a teacher or security guard). The 80's were a different time in Wichita, stabbings were seen as kids being kids and only slightly discouraged. Robert from Lunch Blog will back me up on this since we went to high school together.

I got 3 tacos and an order of nachos (total around $7). They have a special of 1 taco, 1 nacho, 1 sancho and a drink for around $6.25, but I have a fairly strict no sancho policy. The tacos are standard issue American style fast food tacos, only bigger. For $1.49 each, a meal could be made of 2 or 3 of these. They have a healthy amount of meat and plenty of lettuce and cheese to round it out. The nachos are unlike any nachos I've ever seen. I called them nacho cookies when I showed them to Stella. They were uncurved (flat) taco shells covered in melted orange cheese, jalapenos and salsa (you can get them without the jalapenos). Needless to say, they were delicious. When you get an order of nachos, you get 2 nacho cookies. The tacos taste like a good version of a Taco Bell taco. Think of the first taco you ever ate and thought "I'm going to be eating tacos for the rest of my life", that's what the Taco Via taco tasted like. The sauce was a little tangy with no heat. It wasn't that great and didn't bring much to the table. I'm not going to say you're going to be blown away by a Taco Via taco, but it WILL taste like happiness, your youth and maybe even remind you of that first taco you had.

I think every town has a kind of homegrown taco place that has held on through the Taco Bellization of America. In Wichita it's Taco Tico, in Lincoln and Omaha it's Amigo's. I'd like to think that in KC it's Taco Via. It's a shame it took me 10 years of living here and craving Taco Tico to find Taco Via. Now that I have, I've wanted to go back and eat again. I just have to find my Z. Cavaricci shirt first.

Grilled Cheese Heaven

2009-09-30T10:28:00.005-05:00

Stella and I were sitting in Manifesto trying to decide if we wanted another fabulous cocktail or if we wanted to head over to The Westside Local to get a bite to eat and have a beer. The Westside Local won out.

It was about 10 O'clock on a Friday night. When we walked in there was a couple in the main dining room. We chose to sit outside in the beer garden because it was very nearly a perfect evening to be outside. All of the picnic tables in the beer garden were taken except the very last one upon which we took up residence.

Our waiter, who was very friendly, took our drink order and brought us the complimentary olive tray. He took a moment to explain the menu to us, namely the localities section which is basically an a la carte section, I'd never seen it called localities before.

Then we started to feel some raindrops and we decided to move inside. The inside of The Westside Local is very nice, but not that cozy when there is only 3 tables taken. The beer garden is much more enjoyable. Stella decided we should split a grilled cheese sandwich since I wasn't that hungry. I tried to talk her into the deviled eggs, but she wouldn't do it. For $7, her argument was, we could get a sandwich and garlic fries as opposed to spending $6 for a half dozen deviled eggs (6 halves or 3 eggs).

Our waiter, who seemed more like he wanted to sit down and join us than he was in serving us (which is fine because it was pretty slow in there) told Stella about one of the bartender's drink creations. At the drink's heart it was a ginger shandy, but the ginger part was done by infusing some cognac with ginger and mixing that with Tank 7. "Good. But dangerous" was the waiter's assessment of the drink. It does sound pretty good, but if Stella drank that well...let's just leave that to the imagination, but I think I would have to ice a part of my body in the morning.

Our grilled cheese sandwich arrived and it was huge. Certainly $7 well spent. I don't remember all 3 cheeses in the grilled cheese sandwich but brie was one of them and that's enough. Simply put, the sandwich was superb. The bread was light and airy, a great cheese delivery device. The tomato soup was served cold and once we got used to the cold aspect of it, was really enjoyable.

What I didn't like was the garlic fries. They seemed like they had been sitting around for awhile and were mostly ends and irregular pieces. They didn't have much garlic flavor or any flavor for that matter. To make up for the lack of flavor I tried dipping them in the homemade ketchup but it was awful which I didn't think ketchup could ever be. I really didn't like it at all. The aioli that came with the fries was just the opposite of the ketchup, good. Stella used the aioli exclusively, I switched between the two and was not the better person for doing so.

To our surprise, Muddy Mo showed up and sat down with us as we were about halfway done with our sandwich. He had a beer and we discussed the topics of the day. I tried to give him half of my half of the sandwich because it was just too much to eat, but he wouldn't take it. I couldn't finish it. Of course he wouldn't eat any of the fries after I talked bad about them so those went to the dogs too.

The star of the show at The Westside Local is the beer and the best supporting actors are the beer garden and the grilled cheese sandwich. I don't know of a better late night option for beer and food though I'd skip the fries if I could. I'm definitely going to go back and try more food, but I don't know how it could get better than that grilled cheese.

Death by Food: Road Show Edition

2009-09-26T11:20:00.006-05:00

Thanks to being forced to use my work vacation, and a sense of obligation to visit my wife's parents for the first time in 5 years, I found a reason to spend a little time in Minneapolis this week. My main mission was to pick-up some Surly, but I found even greater glory in the food of the Twin Cities.

Our tour guide had us ready to swing by some place called Yum for lunch, which sounds just a bit queer for my tastes. So as I pull up to a stop light listening to people try to decide whether to do burgers or spaghetti for dinner, I swung into the parking lot for Burger Jones and made a decision for them.

I knew nothing about this place other than the sign made me believe it's a gourmet burger place, and I'd much rather down that than food from a place known for cupcakes. Sure enough, we walk in to see a bevy of beers on tap and a menu of diverse burgers to be had. Right off the bat, I was conflicted by three burgers: the green chile cheeseburger, the hangover or the white trash burger. The wife agreed to go after the green chile burger, which made my decision so much easier. Who am I? What do I do? I eat food with an item description of "chicken-fried bacon, fried cheese curds, and plenty of Velveeta." White Trash Burger it is.

Notice the Kansas state flag on the burger. Either I have grossly underestimated my nation-wide popularity, of the waiter was extremely observant when carding me for the draft Surly Bender I ordered. The first bite of this thing was like heaven. Perfectly cooked burger, a heaping dose of Velveeta, and some crispy fried goodness. As I progressed through it, my admiration began to slowly decline. The burger wasn't cooked evenly. The fried curds were a lot of air. It was still delicious, but more along the lines of ChefBurger quality rather than the heaven that is Blanc here in KC.

Plus, what is the deal with the lettuce and tomato? I'm trying to kill myself here, and you throw in some veggies to sog up my bun and provide some much needed help to my colon for later? Apparently they do this for every burger, as is evidenced by the green chile burger and daily special featuring a dickload of shrimp below. The White Trash was easily the best of our three.

My Gyro

2009-09-20T09:28:00.006-05:00

Why oh why is the gyro not a more universal item? I love them, they're nearly the perfect sandwich and they're oh so filling. What's more, I've never had a bad one. I've had some that are better than others, but they've all been good.

This weekend we ventured south to go to Deanna Rose and do some fishing and some goat petting. After an hour and a half of cutting worms into thirds and threading them onto hooks in the hot sun and pulling the boy's stroller back onto the boardwalk after he inexplicably tried to pull himself into the lake, Stella and I had built up quite a hunger. Luckily for us there is a Mr. Gyros just down the street from Deanna Rose on 135th St.

We stopped off and got some chicken nuggets for the kids at the nearby KFC and took their food in with us. I took a moment to figure out our order and got Stella and I each an original gyro. The original is the only thing either of us have gotten at Mr. Gyros because I can't imagine them making something better. To be honest, I would feel like a douche if I were to order the chicken, KC strip or vegetarian gyro and I think only a jackass would order the gyro melt, I get enough cheese in American food, I don't need to muck up my Greek food with cheese too. At some point I need to try the beef souvlaki or the dolmades just to round out my Mr. Gyros experience but that will have to wait for another day.

By the time I got our drinks filled up and taken to our table, the gyros were ready. Mr. Gyros has a very simple presentation, pita with sliced gyro meat on it, 2 tomato wedges and 4 or 5 rings of onion. The tzatziki sauce is in a paper condiment container like the one you might find at your local McDonalds. The problem with that is their tzatziki sauce is a little thick to pour out of the container so you either use a knife to get it out or you squeeze it out making a mess of your hands. I don't know why I would worry about such things since eating a gyro is anything but a clean experience.

The portion size is excellent, at least 1/2 pound of meat. I could probably use a little more tzatziki sauce each time, I find myself rationing it. The meat is wonderfully flavored and usually quite moist and tender. This weekend the meat was a little overdone, but it was still very good. I've never had a Mr. Gyro experience where I was left wanting more to eat, but I could see needing a little baklava or a dolmade or 2 on the side.*

*This is the first occurrence of this actually happening. While writing this post I was looking at the Mr. Gyros website and found the chocolate almond roll. Within 2 minutes I was in the car driving to Mr. Gyros for a couple of gyros and a couple of chocolate almond rolls, which are fabulous too.

The location on 135th Street feels like any generic local fast food place with the exception of the Greek tourism video that is similar to the DVD's they play at Nebraska Furniture Mart to sell HD TV's and the mural on the back wall. The decor was actually well done, making you feel as though you were in a Greek restaurant, but not beating you over the head with that fact. Also, I like the seating at that location. It allows for large groups (like the kids soccer teams*) to sit together but each table is still separate. The Metcalf location is similar in design to the newer 135th Street one, but quite a bit smaller.

*Stella and I talked about the kids soccer teams (the new soccer complex is next to Deanna Rose) eating in the neighborhood. I told her if there was a kid's Greek soccer team, they would absolutely love KC and talk about KC for the rest of their childhood. I was reminded of when I was a kid and my baseball team went to the little league World Series regionals in Rockford, IL (we lost to the eventual LLWS runner up) and we ate at McDonald's at least 6 times and Bonanza twice in our 5 days there. A little variety in Rockford would have been nice.

Mr. Gyros is obviously a good little restaurant judging by its tenure and expansion. But they're also filling a niche in the market. In my mind, there is no reason the gyro isn't served in nearly every restaurant. I don't know what goes into making the gyro meat on the spit, I don't want to know. I do want the gyro to be a menu staple like the Philly, Reuben or club sandwich. A gyro would be a perfect addition to my little dream of ChefStreet. Let's get this done.

I Threw up in Buffalo Wild Wings Last Night

2009-08-26T11:24:00.003-05:00

I decided to rewrite the classic Elton John song Someone Saved My Life Tonight. Here's the new lyrics:

When I think of those buffalo hot wings, buffalo wings

Buffalo wings are one of life's great pleasures

But Buffalo Wild Wings makes me a little unsure

The kids sit like princes and princesses while we're there

And its one more wing and we'll be outtathere

Weve all done something like it

The wing just not sitting right and digesting is a bear

I threw up in Buffalo Wild Wings last night,

I almost had that wing digested, I gave it a fight

I nearly had it eaten and swallowed

No longer hungry, sated

Reaching for a glass of beer

Wings are a butterfly

And butterflies are free to fly

Fly out of my mouth into a napkin, bye bye

I never realised the passing hours of evening showers

A slip noose hanging in my darkest dreams

Im strangled by the BWW social scene

Just a pawn out-played by a dominating wing

It was six in the evening

Damn it listen to me good

Im feeling nauseous still

Saved in time, thank God my hungers still alive

And I would have kept walking head on into the Buffalo Wild Wings

Clinging to hopes of good wings

Paying for mediocre flavor

Coupons are coming in the mail soon

I threw up in Buffalo Wild Wings last night, I threw up in Buffalo Wild Wings last night

I threw up in Buffalo Wild Wings last night

So save your money and go to Hooter's or The Peanut instead.

Death by Food: Man v. Donkey

2009-08-23T20:24:00.009-05:00

My Saturday evening started off innocently enough. My friend and I met up and made our way to the Flying Saucer for some pre-game drinking. I mentioned my recent spread in Ink magazine and he brought up a big burrito challenge he saw on TV at a place in Raytown. We eventually got to the game late. The Royals gave up an early lead, Sluggerrr cock-blocked us, and we made a fourth inning exit and headed to Fiesta Azteca. Had I known I would be spending my evening trying to insert a 5lb burrito into one of my orifices, I probably would have skipped the 3 beers and hot pretzel, but sometimes you just have to step in and take one for the team.

The main show at Fiesta Azteca is a massive creation known as the El Azteca. It includes pork, chorizo and ground beef along with pico, guac, sour cream, salsa, cheese, rice and beans. When completed, the girthy beast looks something like this...

When you've spent the past two months restricting your food intake and the previous hour eating and drinking, you end up like this...

I started off by pretty much shredding the first half of the burrito for quick consumption. The first bite was delicious. The first quarter was great. Everything beyond that was hatred. I realized there would be no chance of eating the whole thing, so my main focus was finishing the half I cut. In the end, it wasn't so much a question of size, but the make-up of the mush I was eating. Looking at the mash and then shoving it my mouth became too much for my gag reflexes to take. On the extremely likely chance I ever undertake the challenge again, my first two points will be to skip the pre-meal and eat it as close to whole as possible. After admitting defeat, I found out about 30 people have completed the challenge, which nets you the meal for free along with a t-shirt. One man is even said to have done it within 5 minutes.

Somehow I had the stomach for some leftovers this afternoon, since I didn't want to write a review straight off of last night's utter feeling of disgust. The second time around was just as good as I remember those first bites of the challenge. The three different meats provide a good contrast of flavors. As I examined the contents, it also occurred to me that my hatred for sour cream may have played a role in the challenge demise since it was flowing through half the burrito, enhancing the mush factor. I was just delighted that it didn't come with the big scoops on top like you see on Man v. Food.

Even if you're not into the idea of pounding a 5lb burrito, Fiesta Azteca is worth checking out. The guys working inside were awesome. At one point the waiter came over and asked me, "How is the donkey?" I found this especially amusing since I already refer to a burrito at another local establishment as the "horse wang." Most of the reviews on Google say to avoid the menu and just ask for something special from the owner, Andreas. Sounds like a good way to get some authentic Mexican food in an unexpected KC suburb.

Crabtapular

2009-08-20T10:04:00.005-05:00

Stella is a lot like Red from Shawshank, she knows how to get things. In this case she got a coupon for a free steampot from Joe's Crab Shack. I don't ask questions, I just assume everything is above board and legal and I take part in the free goods. I honestly think that half of my kids' clothing "falls off the back of a truck".

So we had a couple of hours sans children to get our crab on and we had to be in Olathe anyway. We had the perfect variables for dinner at Joe's Crab Shack.

When I first moved to KC from Wichita in 2001, I regularly ate at Joe's. Wichitans love them some chain restaurant food and I loved Joe's because they had the perfect dish for me called the Key West Combo. The Key West Combo featured their jalapeno poppers stuffed with crab, crab balls, fried clams and french fries, all for $7.99. It was a wonderful meal, chain or no chain, Joe's has the best jalapeno poppers in town. Then one day I went in and they no longer had the Key West Combo. I had to choose between full orders of the poppers or the crab balls (or some other entree). It was just too much for me to take and I think I've been to Joe's twice since the Key West Slaughter of '02.

When we walked in, I was shocked that it hadn't changed at all. They still sell the schticky t-shirts that I always thought Wes Port would love. We were seated in the bar area in one of those c-shaped booths like they have at Manifesto (but it's not private enough to whip it out). Stella ordered the classic steampot (dungeness crab, Alaskan snow crab, shrimp, smoked sausage, corn and potatoes) and I got the Orleans (crawfish, andouille, shrimp, corn and potatoes). I haven't had crawfish since I lived in Wichita when my friends and I used to go to this place called Brews Brothers (a now defunct cajun restaurant and beer bar) and eat pounds of crawfish, boudin, scotch eggs and jambalaya while drinking the best microbrews available in the late 90's. Stella doesn't care to eat the cockroachy (in her words) looking crawfish so I don't even know where in town I can get some.

The waiter brought us out the special bibs (with a coupon code that you can try to win a free steampot, you can get a code here, just keep trying it until you get the free steampot). I put mine on because how often do I get to wear a bib, Stella decided to big league it and just take her chances.

What we got was a big steampot like you might find at your grandma's house full of shellfish. Of course, the challenge then becomes getting the meat out. You're going to get dirty eating these things. To make it even more challenging the Orleans pot is covered in a cajun seasoning, your hands had better be as free from cuts and lesions as a john's crotch in a Nevada whorehouse or you're going to have an unpleasant experience.

Nary a word was spoken as Stella and I were cracking shells and getting the meat out. I spent a good amount of time sucking the heads (now that I'm married to a woman, this is the only time I get to suck heads) of crawfish. I went Medieval on my pot and just grabbed the sausage with my hands and ate it rather than picking up the knife and fork. It's good to get your hands dirty when eating every once in a while.Dirty hands

At the end of the meal, we were both a little tired from breaking shells but were filled up so the effort was worth it. My crawfish were tasty. The shrimp were good and the sausage was average. The best part of the meal was the parts covered in the cajun seasoning, once I got to the bottom half of the pot and the seasoning was wiped off my fingers, the shrimp didn't have much flavor. If I would have had the seasoning on the table this wouldn't have been a problem. Stella's crabs were great and she enjoyed every part of hers but the shrimp which she deemed tasteless.

The steampots range from $17.99 for the Orleans to $34.99 for the Bean Town Bake which includes two whole lobsters. Most of the steampots are $20.99 though. They have 6 different ones to choose from and they all sound pretty good. I'm looking to go back and get one with crab in it. For all it's schtick and everything, Joe's is pretty enjoyable and has at least one entree that's pretty great, the steampot.

Food Does Taste Good

2009-08-18T21:29:00.004-05:00

So a few weeks ago I ate some chips and blogged the awful results on my personal site. Magically, a wonderful rep from Food Should Taste Good saw my post and offered to make amends for the experience. I browsed the site and picked flavors that sounded the most interesting to my palate, but limited it two so I didn't feel like a total mooch. Little did I know, I was receiving an awesome hookup of two full bags of each of those flavors along with three sample bags of some others.

Thanks to the generosity of Food Should Taste Good, I decided to spread the wealth and setup a tasting panel in the office. After all, it was a co-worker who had the misfortune of originally purchasing the Buffalo (sauce) flavored chips.

Our main mistake with the Buffalo was that the chips were bought to eat alone, while in reality they are a tortilla chip/cracker. These things need to be accompanied by another flavor. The bag says they are good enough to be eaten by themselves, but I would beg to differ. So I took some other advice from the back of the bags and supplied two of the specific items they suggest. For the Jalapeno, I grabbed some sharp cheddar cheese spread and guacamole. The Sweet Potato was accompanied by apple butter and some powdered cinnamon.

With the added ingredients, these chips begin to stand out. I don't know if you can attribute the overall flavor to the chips or the toppings, but everything tasted great. Well, aside from the store bought guacamole that was actually comprised of less than 2% avocado. I wish I would have taken a picture to share the disgusting sight with you, but I also have no desire to vomit right now. Thanks Dean's Dips!

Even without the flavor aids, all the chips we sampled were better than the Buffalo. It's hard to reconcile a bold flavor like buffalo sauce to a chip style that is not heavily flavored. Buffalo is something you look more for in a Dorito than Tostito, and these Food Should Taste Good chips align with the latter. That being said, I almost prefer these chips over a Tostito-style chip. These seem like something great to buy if you are looking to focus more on accompanying a specific dip/flavor/whatever as opposed to buying a generic chip that can be used in any dip because it has no real taste outside of being salted. The chips are hearty, taste a lot less salty and I believe in all cases are gluten and lactose free.

Of the five new varieties tried, Cinnamon did the least for me. The taste of cinnamon and sea salt was just off. I'm generally not a big fan of the sweet/salty combo, but I also don't think cinnamon is a sweet. Potato & Chive had the bang of flavor we were looking for on the Buffalo. These things are an explosion of chive flavor. Multigrain basically tastes like what you think it would. Jalapeno is my favorite and a nice tortilla chip with bits of jalapeno baked in. While there isn't a lot of heat in the flavor, you definitely know you are eating something that tastes like jalapenos rather than being flavored to heat your mouth. The Sweet Potato may be the most diverse of them all. I never really noticed the sweet potato flavor until eating another chip and going back to it. It tastes decent and could easily be used with a mild salsa or something sweet like apple butter.

Overall, the experience was a nice treat and got me to look deeper at the product. It's amazing how just a little customer service can bring someone from slamming your company on a random blog to enjoying and touting the product.

Chinese Economy

2009-08-16T10:46:00.002-05:00

Last year around this time Kansas City Lunch Spots informed white people across the metro about the existence of a Chinese menu at Chinese restaurants. I've known about this phenomenon for many years thanks to accompanying a Korean girl to restaurants for a couple of years in the late '90's. Virtually any Chinese, Thai or Korean has a menu specifically for those of the ethnicity. But white folks can have this menu too, technically it's against the law for them to deny it to you.

I've only found it worth my while to get the menu for Koreans on rare occasions and I don't know what I'd even want off an authentic Chinese menu. But sometimes it's fun to peruse the ethnic menu.

Anyway, a couple of economics bloggers I read tried to sum up the economics of keeping the Chinese-only menu secret.

1. Path dependence (a): Americans have some very set though inaccurate ideas about what “Chinese food” really is. They will generally balk at anything else. More people will break this way, and avoid the restaurants, than will break my way, and go to them more often, if they are offered something new and different.

2. Path dependence (b): Setting up a restaurant is a ton of work. Someone or some entity tells Chinese restaurants what they must to sell to appeal to Americans, and all the restaurants are following the same bad advice. The agent(s) to blame aren’t as subject to market forces because Chinese immigrants have fewer contacts than most others in America. If this seems speculative, consider how few different brands of chopsticks you’ve seen at Chinese restaurants, from the fabulous ones to the truly wretched. There aren’t that many.

3. I hate to bring up the obvious, but… chauvinism. Chinese people have certain ideas about Americans, including that our culinary tastes are incredibly narrow. Obviously, this may be partially true, given (1) above.

4. The high costs of offering so many different dishes. I’m skeptical of this one, because Chinese people are usually offered the Chinese menu, if there is one, while Americans get the American menu. The costs of being able to prepare the dishes are in place either way.

Tyler Cowen offers this.

I would add that perhaps many Chinese restaurants do not want too many non-Chinese customers. Especially for immigrants, restaurant life is often about ambience, social contacts, and feeling you have a space to call your own. A restaurant cannot be all things to all people and the #1 best way of judging a restaurant is to look at its customers. The "beef with broccoli" menu will attract a certain kind of American customer, but without breaking down the sense of segregation and the basic Chineseness of the place.

That said, there is also the fear that the American customers will order from the secret menu and then not like the chicken feet, etc. and give a bad report to their friends.

I think they're both overthinking it. I would submit that the Chinese proprietor knows that Mary Homemaker has no interest in an authentic Chinese meal, they just want their beef and broccoli takeout.

Fish and Frites

2009-08-15T07:57:00.007-05:00

A couple of weeks ago everyone in my building got a $5 off coupon and menu from Harry's Country Club. This was a welcome change from the JCCC Continuing Education catalogs I usually find in my work mailbox. Since then, I have been walking around telling my work colleagues just how wonderful Harry's is. I've spent a good amount of time disparaging that girl that said bad things about Harry's on "Check, Please!" I've talked about the great happy hour, the burger that I love and the multitude of beers. But, I hadn't used my coupon. Yet.

I had been saving my coupon for a Friday when they have fish and chips as a daily special. I order fish and chips a lot around town, I'm typically disappointed. But, unlike the Cuban sandwich, I've had really good fish and chips. It keeps me coming back for more.

I made plans with Buttery Nipple to head over there which entailed talking him out of eating lunch at The Flying Saucer (where he would live if they would let him). He only agreed if I would drive over there because his delicate little legs can't walk the 8 blocks.

The hostess seated us inside. The bar was about 3/4 full and the patio had to have at least 4 or 5 tables filled. Harry's is quite the bustling lunch spot. In all my time downtown, I had never eaten at Harry's for lunch, I didn't know how crowded Harry's was going to be.

Every other time I've been to Harry's I've had an adult beverage, but since this was lunch and I'm not much of a lunch drinker I decided to try the fresh squeezed lemonade. I love a good glass of lemonade, especially on a hot day like it was on Friday. I hadn't realized when I ordered my lemonade that it was $2.95 for a single glass, but it was quite tasty but had a little more of a tart bite to it than I find ideal. I almost got a refill for a buck but decided against it.

In addition to the fish and chips special they had a barbecued pulled pork sandwich special. I kept my willpower strong and stayed with the the fish and chips, marking the first time in my personal history that I've turned down a pulled pork special. Luckily Buttery Nipple ordered it so I could see just how fabulous it was.

When my fish and chips came out I was a little disappointed that I only got 2 pieces of fish instead of 3 and one of the pieces was about half the size of the other. Also, calling this dish fish and chips is not really accurate, it was more like fish and frites, because the fish was accompanied by Harry's regular shoestring style fries. This is okay by me because shoestring fries are my favorite style and Harry's does them well with a good crisp to them. Before I start my raving I will add one other criticism, the lemon that came on the plate was cut as a cocktail garnish. I actually had the same kind of cut lemon on my glass of lemonade. I would have preferred a proper lemon wedge.

Those minor points aside, the fish was perfect. I've long judged fish and chips by how much I reach for the malt vinegar. These fish were so good, I almost forgot to ask for some. I only asked for malt vinegar because I found it odd the server didn't bring it to me in the first place. Every bite of the fish, though, was a delight. The batter wasn't greasy, it offered a nice little bite to it and had nice flavor. I did salt it a little and brought out even more flavor. I tried a bite with some malt vinegar on it as well, but I enjoyed the bites without malt vinegar so much more. The fish inside was still juicy and was perfectly cooked. I don't know if these are the best fish and chips in KC, but I submit that they are a finalist.

Buttery Nipples pulled pork sandwich looked good and he enjoyed it. I'm glad I went with the fish and chips especially since I'd had such a great pulled pork sandwich the day before. The only bad point about Buttery Nipple's lunch was the baked beans which he took one bite of and said "straight from the can". We surmised that it was probably a can of Bush's baked beans (has anyone ever really enjoyed a can of baked beans?), but a can nonetheless.

Even with my coupon, my lunch tab with tip was $12. But the fish and chips was so good that I'll go back next Friday (and probably won't get the lemonade) and many more Fridays to come. My quest for the best fish and chips won't end, but I know I have a favorite in the clubhouse.

Barbecue Border War

2009-08-13T15:56:00.006-05:00

I thought to myself this morning, by golly I’m going to go to Adam’s Rib for lunch today. So I did. I headed over and found out they have a lunch special for $5.99. Mind you, it was impossible to tell what the special entailed since it wasn’t on the signs, but it was a lunch special. I had to ask at the counter what the special was. It turns out it was a single meat sandwich with your choice of fries, beans, potato salad or cheesy cornbread for $5.99. That is a great deal.

I got a pulled pork sandwich and fries, my standard barbecue order and brought it home. I should mention that they’ve changed the ordering system since the last time I went. You now walk in and go straight to the register right in front of you. I was a bit confused this time because I started to walk to the one to the side of the door. Again Adams Rib has made a fool of me when I’m just trying to get my lunch.

I was once again amazed at the amount of food I got. The sandwich is a little smaller with the lunch special than I remember the regular sandwich being, but that’s okay with me. The other one had too much meat for me to ingest. Included in the to go box was a ridiculous amount of fries. They have also added a hot barbecue sauce which is greatly appreciated because I don’t think much of their regular barbecue sauce.

With the spicier sauce added onto the pulled pork sandwich, it was nearly flawless. It was quite juicy and flavorful without being the wet ball of goo the sandwich turned into last time. The bread/pork ratio was great and I was impressed with how great the sandwich worked. The fries were wonderfully crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside. Dipped into the spicy barbecue sauce they became wonderful French treasures.

Needless to say, Adams Rib has stepped up their game after being open for a couple of months. My barbecue decision when I’m home has now become quite complicated between RJ’s Bob-Be-Que and Adams Rib. My house is almost right in between the two of them, they both have great specials, the food is excellent in both places and the service is equally friendly. They both even have gentle giants working at them, RJ’s has Big Dave and Adams Rib has a big dude (at least 6’4”/250) behind the counter. I think they need to have a wrestling match to determine the BBQ king of JoCo.

I think with Adam’s Rib hitting their stride, I think a case can be made that the Kansas side has better barbecue than the Missouri side. Kansas has what I feel is the best barbecue in the metro with Oklahoma Joe’s. RJ’s is really good as is Adams Rib. Missouri has the big 2 in Gates and Arthur Bryant’s and then there’s LC’s (we’re going to leave Jack Stack out of this because they have big locations on both sides of the state line, Gates and Bryant’s do too, but they are iconic KCMO restaurants). LC’s is really expensive for what it is and good luck getting out of Gates and Bryant’s for under $10. RJ’s and Adam’s Rib might not be quite up to that quality, but they’re really close (they’re just missing the history) and are a couple of dollars cheaper. Plus, service at the 3 best Kansas barbecue restaurants puts the Missouri restaurants to shame. They’re downright rude at LC’s, they hurry you through at Bryant’s and Gates employs schtick.

To me, I’d rather have Kansas barbecue than the Missouri counterpart. Maybe I’m crazy. I still think Bryant’s is the second best barbecue in town and Gates third. But going to either of those 2 is a pain in the ass and I’m liable to be treated like crap while there. For marginally worse barbecue I can be virtually guaranteed good service and a better value.

I know there are many barbecue places on both sides of the state line and I don’t pretend to have visited them all. But 90% of the time, I’m going to eat at one of the 6 I listed here or Jack Stack. For me, I think I’d rather eat barbecue in Kansas.

I should also mention that Adam's Rib is holding a Man V. Food type competition among local "celebrities" on Saturday. The celebutestants are going to try and wolf down a 10 pound brisket burger in 20 minutes. The winner gets the proceeds of the event to go to the charity of their choice.

Rice and Beans Cafe

2009-08-12T12:34:00.006-05:00

Chimpotle and I met up for a little KCK adventure to the Rice and Beans Cafe (719 Central). I had heard that the Rice and Beans Cafe made the best Cuban sandwich in town. A good Cuban sandwich has been my white whale. I'm a lover of pork products so a sandwich that combines 2 great preparations of pig, ham and roast pork. There's all kinds of preparations but all Cuban sandwiches contain mustard and pickles. I've never had a good one though. Maybe that means I don't like them or maybe it means I just haven't had the right one yet.

I was up for putting the Rice and Beans Cafe up to the test. As I was looking at the Rice and Beans menu, I noticed a sandwich I'd never heard of before, a tripleta which is a Puerto Rican sandwich. Everyone's heard of a Cuban, I was going to make like Columbus and "discover" a sandwich a native people already loved. Chimpo and I decided to share our sandwiches (they're cut in half) so we could have one of each.

I made my way over to 7th and Central (a full 8 minutes from downtown) in KCK and drove around the area a couple of times to find a place to park. I was able to find a spot on the street next to some sort of pregnancy clinic. I walked up to the Cafe and had to work some mojo to get in the door without having the window air conditioner (placed right above the door) drip water on me*. I've found this is a KCK staple, El Pollo Rey also has a leaky area that you have to watch when walking up.

*You can see a picture of what I'm talking about here as well as some great pictures of the food and menu. I tried to take a picture of the air conditioner, but there was literally a homeless looking guy standing just within the shot drinking a paper sack covered can of beer. I took a picture but tried to make it obvious that I wasn't taking a picture of him and missed the shot I was going for.

I sat down at the long counter that spanned the length of the restaurant, maybe about 12 barstools long. They also had 3 or 4 tables for 2 spanning the far wall. It was the perfect size for a good lunch spot which is what they are since they close at 4 on most days. The waitress helped me almost immediately and got me my water and a menu. Chimpo walked in and he was helped immediately as well. As we sat there enjoying some Latin music we placed our orders, the tripleta for me and the Cuban for Chimpo. The cook in the back told the waitress that he didn't have the fixins for the tripleta, so I ordered the Cuban instead. I was then told that they could make the tripleta after all if I still wanted it. Confused as to what to do, I said I would take the tripleta.

Having never had a tripleta before, I don't know if what I got was actually a tripleta or a tripleta type sandwich made with the makings they had. A tripleta is basically a Cuban sandwich with steak and caramelized onions in addition to the ham and roast pork. I think the steak I was served had been placed in an oven and forgotten about for a couple of days. It was awful and very well done, I'm surprised it wasn't just ash. I took the steak out of the sandwich and was left with my very own Cuban.

My Cuban sandwich was really pretty good, but if this was the best Cuban sandwich in KC, I'm going to quit ordering Cuban sandwiches. I enjoyed it, but I enjoy a lot of food that is much more consistently good.

The best part of eating at Rice and Beans Cafe, though, is the sandwiches are served with fried plantains which are much more tasty than french fries. I wished that I would have been given more than 2 of the crab cake sized plantains because I really enjoyed them. Our service was great and the waitress seemed like she genuinely cared whether we enjoyed our meal. I didn't have the heart to tell her the steak was awful. I think she knew because I think I she charged me a little less than the menu price. I got out of there for a little over $10 and they do take plastic which is a relief.
I think Rice and Beans Cafe is definitely a place you should try, but I think they can do some things a little better. A look at their menu gives you the impression they don't know what they want to do, it's all over the place. It has Venezuelan (I think the owners are Venezuelan as it used to be called the Venezuela cafe and they had a fun picture of a naked Hugo Chavez reaching out to Karl Marx hanging on the wall, I don't know if they were being ironic or what, I found the whole thing amusing), Cuban, Puerto Rican and other latin american specialties along with items like roast chicken and fried chicken. I didn't know if the fried chicken was like Popeye's or if it was some latin american spice fried chicken. Since most places in that area are Mexican or some other country specific, the Rice and Bean Cafe might be able to fill a little niche.

Noodles & Company kind of does what I think the Rice and Beans Cafe should do. They categorize their menu into countries or regions so you know what kind of food you are going to order. I think Rice and Beans should do the same thing, categorize their food into Cuban, Venezuelan, Puerto Rican etc. sections. That way they can have about the same menu and make it a little easier to comprehend. The menu is really full and has something for everyone including an Indian canoe which sounds like some horrid sex act involving curry. You can find the menu and daily specials here.

Pierpont's in Four Courses

2009-08-06T12:43:00.003-05:00

Stella had her choice of Kansas City for her 30th birthday dinner (a week late, we actually went to Buffalo Wild Wings with the kids on her actual 30th birthday). She chose Pierpont’s, one of our favorite restaurants where we ate a lot when we were courting and I believe we went there on our 1st anniversary. We’ve been back a couple of times since then but I think only for drinks and dessert.

She chose Pierpont’s mainly because of the 4 course tasting they have right now. For $30 you get a 4 course meal made up of small plates. We each got to choose an appetizer, salad, entrée and dessert. For $20 more you can get a wine pairing with each course. I don’t know if that means the sommelier* will pick out a wine for you or you get to pick your own wine with your course. I would prefer the sommelier.

*My favorite sommelier experience happened at Pierpont’s about 5 years ago. The sommelier was trying to do recommendations for a table of older people that were not very wine savvy (to be kind). He had them try a merlot, something real accessible just so he could get a gauge of what they enjoyed. None of them liked it and he asked what they’ve had before that they enjoyed. One of the older ladies hemmed and hawed and asked her husband something to the effect of “what was that wine we had that time, white something?” The husband didn’t know and the sommelier asked “white zinfandel?” The lady said “Yes, that’s it, it was so nice, I think it was Sutter Home”. I thought then (when I wasn’t that much more wine savvy than the people at that table) that sometimes it must really suck to be a sommelier.

Stella had made reservations for 5:30 so we could make the 7:15 showing of “Funny People” at the AMC Mainstreet. Stella loves making reservations but I always find it funny that we have reservations and the restaurant is only half full (at best), but she doesn’t like to leave things to chance. We got seated in the main room with the bar on the other side of the divider. I’ve never sat in there before and would prefer to not sit in there again. The main dining room or downstairs are a lot quieter and more intimate. The bar area is loud and people are always walking by.

Our waitress got us our menus, informed us there were no off menu specials and told us about the 4 and 5 course tastings. We told her we were going to get the 4 course tastings and she tried to sell us on the crab cakes for the appetizer. We had 5 choices for the appetizer and all sounded appealing. I love crab cakes and Pierpont’s makes great ones, the lobster firecracker sounded great, mussels were definitely an option, calamari was probably my last choice just because I can get calamari almost anywhere and it doesn’t do much for me. But, I’d never had beef Carpaccio and I like to try new things at quality restaurants that I trust. If I really like the item at the good restaurant I can add it to the list of things I can order at restaurants I’m trying. It’s a good way to expand your palate.

I chose the Carpaccio and Stella chose the calamari (which she’d never had before). The Carpaccio was pretty good, I have nothing to compare it to, but I enjoyed it. I suspect I would have liked the crab cake more but the Carpaccio pleased me. It came with about 6 slices of the beef tenderloin, spinach, parmesan, truffle oil, red onion and some basalmic with 3 little toasts slices. Stella’s calamari had a real light breading and was flash fried and came with a really good horseradish cream sauce and a tomato coulis that didn’t have much flavor. The best part of hers was the fried spinach leaves. The calamari was really tasty as well.

For our salad course, I chose the grilled pineapple salad and Stella did as well. However, when ordering Stella pronounce pineapple salad “spinach salad” and by golly she got a spinach salad. It should be noted that the waitress will bring you the food you order, not the food you meant to order. I was a little disappointed in my pineapple salad which had baby greens, crisp prosciutto di parma chips and raisins in addition to the pineapple. The salad was great when I got some pineapple in my bite, but there were only 4 cubes of pineapple in the salad so I had to ration it. If the pineapple had been cut into smaller chunks I would have enjoyed the salad much more than I did.

For the entrees, I got the lamb chops continuing my streak of only ordering lamb and pork at fine dining restaurant. I really love lamb chops, the best ones in KC (that I’ve had) are at Il Centro. I had some reservations about the lamb chops at Pierpont’s because I didn’t really want cannellini beans and swiss chard as a side. The asparagus and whipped potatoes that come with the Filet Oscar were more up my alley that night. But I’ve had the Filet Oscar a bunch of times and was in the mood for something new. Stella talked me into the lamb chops pointing out that it’s stupid to order an entrée based on the sides. Stella got the lobster bouillabaisse which sounded great in its own right.

I was right to be wary of the cannellini beans as they kind of dominated the plate. When you’re getting small plates, you want to eat everything on the plate and the beans ended up being a little much for me. They were fine, I’m just not that big a fan of the cannellini. The lamb chops weren’t that great but I blame myself because I ordered them medium instead of rare, another case of the waitress bringing us what we ordered instead of what we meant to order.

Stella’s lobster bouillabaisse was astoundingly good. It was filled with mussels, shrimp, white fish, scallops and, of course, lobster tail in a tomato-chardonnay broth. If I were a fish this is how I’d want to go out. I want to go back to Pierpont’s just so I can have more than the one bite of this that I got that night. If they’d let me, I’d like to climb into the pot they make it in and bathe in it. I don’t know when the next time we’ll make it to Pierpont’s for dinner, but I have a new favorite dish there that I need to experience a full serving of.

For dessert I got the white chocolate bread pudding. Desserts don’t do much for me, but I do really enjoy bread pudding and Pierpont’s bread pudding is one of my favorites. It even has a bit of flair with it as they pour Bacardi 151 over it and light it on fire. It’s not often you get to see your food on fire. Stella got a chocolate caramel peanut butter torte which sounds like it’s got too much going on already before you consider that it comes with fried plantains, apricot coulis and banana lissi (which is like Shatto banana milk). My bread pudding had a melba sauce and was topped with a couple of peach slices. It was all delicious except maybe the plantain chips which didn’t have much flavor.

I was pretty happy to learn that one meal at Blanc and one meal at Pierpont’s got us to the $150 mark on my KC Originals card earning me a free $10 at any KC Originals participating restaurant. Both meals were well worth it. Pierpont’s left me a little disappointed overall, but I think with some more attention paid to ordering correctly and getting the lobster bouillabaisse all of my minor disappointment will be washed away.

As a side note, I’m going to be going back some time in the next week to try the $5.95 steakburger with parmesan steak fries. That is a really good deal for a good steakhouse burger.

Yummo Street Food

2009-08-05T14:58:00.002-05:00

It appears that Yummo has closed up for good. I was in there Monday or Tuesday for a froyo and noticed that only half the flavors were there and the toppings bar was only half filled. I guess they were just selling through the rest of the froyo.

What’s going in next? I don’t know, but I can tell you what I’d like to see. I think they hit a homerun by selling the Korean BBQ tacos. The 3 tacos for $2 was a great deal and tasted great too. I think even if they were $1/taco I would still go once a week. But I would expand on the idea and make it into a street food stand.

I don’t know how much this idea is inspired from this weeks “No Reservations” special on street food, probably not much since I thought of it last week. But I would really like to pick up corn dogs, tacos, Korean tacos, grilled chicken, gyros, kebabs, some kind of meat on a spit etc. from the place. I’m assuming Rob Dalzell still holds the lease to the place and I trust he could come up with a simple 10 item menu.

The Power and Light district has nothing like this within its confines. The sausage carts are set up across 13th and many people don’t carry the cash necessary to engage in commerce with the carts. Street food with a little bit of ethnic flair could be a big seller, especially after 10 PM. A nice size lunch crowd hits the block where Yummo is so it would get plenty of eyeballs. Not everyone has time for a sit down lunch so street food is a great option. Plus, there’s plenty of places to sit in the area so you can turn much of the retail space into cooking area.

Rob could also create some P&L branding and call it ChefStreet. ChefStreet right next to ChefBurger (Rob’s other P&L place) could become a destination for grilled meats.

I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy but I’d much rather see ChefStreet than something like Panera.

Real Big Problem

2009-08-05T14:39:00.004-05:00

If you have never been to El Camino Real, you are doing yourself a favor. Not only am I out $6.50 for lunch, but I have lost all sorts of productivity throughout the afternoon because I can't stop smelling my hands.

Fat City lists El Camino as the best cheap taco in the city. Meesha did some incredible reporting on their operation, featuring the first pictures of food I ever contemplated pleasuring myself to.

Sour creaming myself on the side

But getting back to the issue at hand...it has been 4 hours since I went to El Camino for lunch, and my hands still smell of fresh-made, corn tortillas. The grease must just sink into your skin and never let go. Co-workers have washed their hands multiple times with little success. I'm scared to touch myself when using the restroom for fear that my wife will think I've been humping on a ball of masa ~~again~~.

About the only good things to come out of this experience is a belly full of al pastor and being able to legitimately ask co-workers why they keep smelling their fingers.

Man Versus Food

2009-08-05T13:07:00.006-05:00

Season 2 of Man v. Food premieres tonight on the Travel Channel at 9PM CST. If your unfamiliar with the show, it's basically your run of the mill food show where a guy goes to a city and partakes in the different local cuisines. It's just that the last segment involves the host being submitted to some type of eating challenge involving sheer capacity or heat tolerance. The host, Adam Richman, may be one of the most annoying men to be given a show, so I never really feel bad for the suffering he must go through.

Annoying host aside, the show is pretty easy to enjoy if you like seeing the limits people will push their GI tract to in order to get a free meal and/or t-shirt. Heck, sometimes you even get your picture put on a wall where your friends will never be able to find it without you being there to point it out.

I'll be live tweeting tonight's episode, which involves "a burger 300 times hotter than a jalapeno" in San Antonio. It will likely involve me being a hater and how much better I would be at the challenges had I not been stricken with deadly, arthritic gremlins.

Mass Effect

2009-07-24T12:24:00.004-05:00

I've been off the consumption grid for the past couple of weeks due to a vicious beast known as gout. For those unfamiliar with the disease, it's a form of arthritis caused by the body's inability to remove uric acid from your body. It can be hereditary or just caused from over consumption of protein rich items such as meat, beer, etc. For those of you who are familiar with my work, it's not hard to guess which side I fall on.

This is my third flare-up of gout over a span of about four years. I'm starting to approach a time where I need to start considering daily medication to control it on top of lifestyle and diet changes. So I've been laying low for the past month, avoiding a lot of meat and a majority of beer. I think I ate some form of eggplant for 5 straight meals at one point. I've actually taken my health seriously for the the first time in a while, and it's not that bad.

But there's always a relapse. There's the day you get abandoned by the lunch crowd and your constant craving for spicy chicken finds you in the drive-thru of Popeye's Chicken. You order a meal with a drink to cope with the salt intake from the meal. Then you get to the window and get handed this:

The thing didn't even closely fit in either of my cup holders. I left my water cup in the shot just for epic comparison. How is this the default drink? I remember in my youth, getting the default drink (now considered a small or smaller) and being upset that it was 75% ice. Now it's like a blessing. Ultimately, it's up to each of us to practice restraint and make healthy decisions, but come on. And the sad thing is that there was probably someone behind me in the drive-thru that is going to be completely pissed off at the amount of ice that's displacing their soda.

The Farmhouse Affair

2009-07-20T17:49:00.005-05:00

It started with a Tweet, "Anybody want to grab lunch" and ended up at The Farmhouse, a new restaurant in the River Market (in the old Delaware Cafe location). Meesha and I decided on Farmhouse to get our hands on the chicken fried duck sandwich. We showed up separately, Meesha had beaten me there and was sitting in the little waiting area of the lovely little restaurant. The hostess asked us if we wanted to sit inside or outside on the wonderful little patio. Our eyes met as we said "outside" in unison, both of us thought the same thing, the patio promised to be much more romantic.

Our lovely waitress brought us a wine bottle filled with water and poured each of us a glass. She was a lovely young lady with a very flattering cut to her top that might make some men stare, but not this one who had his eye on one person, Meesha. I felt Meesha might have lost some interest in me as he asked our waitress about her cowboy boots. I smiled and listened but really, my heart was breaking. It was quickly becoming obvious that the only reward in this lunch was going to be the lunch.

We each ordered the chicken fried duck sandwich, I got mine with fries and Meesha sprung for the extra couple of dollars to get the cold potato and leek soup. When our sandwiches arrived they looked wonderful, not as wonderful as my companion, but wonderful nonetheless. I was less impressed with the brown state of my fries. I certainly didn't foresee getting some limp brown shafts with my lunch, but that's exactly what I got in those fries. Meesha actually received a salad with his sandwich. Our waitress very graciously got him his bowl of soup and let him keep his salad, game, set and match to our lovely waitress.

We both whipped out our cameras to photograph our sandwiches. Meesha was caught by the lady at the next table and asked her if she wanted her picture taken too. I wasn't asked but I've fantasized since about exactly the pose I would seduce with. My first bite of the sandwich brought disappointment. Not the disappointment that I was feeling for not completely engaging with the Pitch's blogger of the year, but the disappointment of knowing that this sandwich wasn't going to live up to the hype that the Farmhouse has been receiving.

The chicken fried duck was topped with a sweet and hot pepper relish and some arugula. Matched with the duck these are 3 ingredients I can get behind. However, the duck was mostly flavorless and not that indistinguishable from a pork tenderloin sandwich, though the sweetness of the duck could be tasted. The arugula was a bit annoying on the sandwich as I really had to cut it with my teeth everytime I took a bite so I didn't pull it all out. The relish was rather sparse and I don't think it tasted that great when I was able to notice its flavor. As mentioned above, the fries were even disappointing. They were quite brown and not quite as crisp as one would expect from this type of fry. They definitely wouldn't meet the snap test (snapping in half when bent over 45 degrees), they might go to 65 degrees before snapping (I knew high school geometry would come in handy someday). The homemade ketchup was quite nice though, and I didn't try the pickles on the plate, I had my mind on a different kind of pickle.

It was supremely disappointing that my Meesha fantasy didn't work out because it had so much promise. Farmhouse was disappointing in the same sense, a lunch place with good, fresh and local high end ingredients not delivering a great lunch experience. I think if you walk in expecting decent food you're going to get it. If you go in with heightened expectations based on hype, you'll be as disappointed as I am about losing out on Meesha.

You can read Meesha's thoughts on lunch here.

Guilty Pleasure

2009-07-13T17:25:00.004-05:00

I haven't eaten at a Cheesecake Factory in years and can only recollect eating there twice. I remember nothing about either experience except I didn't pay for either meal and I got a lot of food. I'm pretty sure I ate a piece of cheesecake there somewhere along the way but I don't remember that either. I only mention it because I don't really have an opinion on the Cheesecake Factory. I've only really thought it was a more expensive family, casual restaurant that does an enormous amount of business.

Everyone's favorite food author this side of Anthony Bourdain, Michael Ruhlman, had the same feeling.

A week or so ago I made fun of author and journalist Kelly Alexander after she wrote an article in praise of the Cheesecake Factory. She quickly issued a challenge by email: "OK, Ruhlman: A wager is in order, clearly. If you go to the Cheesecake Factory, taste that miso salmon, and after that can honestly tell me it doesn't rock, I will not only pay for your salmon but will personally buy 15 copies of Ratio. If you go and eat it and then concede that it tastes good, you have to blog KELLY ALEXANDER IS RIGHT ABOUT THE SALMON AT THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY. Deal or no deal?"

Sure enough Ruhlman lost the bet and wrote his mea culpa.

I'm a little easier on chain restaurants than most food bloggers. I figure if they didn't serve good food, they'd go out of business. Applebee's and Arby's, just to name two restaurants, don't really prove my point but, for the most part, the food is at least acceptable.

So, in the spirit of Ruhlman, I'm going to come out and announce my guilty pleasure, I like Houlihan's. I've never had a bad meal there number one, but number two, I've really enjoyed every meal I've had there. I don't think I've had the same thing twice because something on the menu catches my eye every time. Sure, Stella and I did get a free meal there one time, but we had to eat with Owen so the freebie cancels itself out. The steaks I've had there have been perfectly cooked and flavorful. The sandwiches have always been good, the french onion soup is very good and I even enjoy their salads.

My only complaints about Houlihan's is that it is a little more expensive than I would like it to be and their beer selection is horrible. We generally only go there when we get one of our birthday or special event coupons. But that's about it, I think Houlihan's has good food and a decent atmosphere. If you're going to eat a mid priced chain restaurant, Houlihan's should be your choice.

Domino's Diet

2009-06-30T12:23:00.002-05:00

You ever have a really great idea, look forward to implementing it and then having it ruin your life? And no, I'm not talking about getting married and having kids. Well it happened to me and you probably already read what Chimpo had to say about it.

I had an idea to have a pizza party taste test to see which of the new Domino's regional pizzas was the best (there was another component to this idea that may implemented in the future, it can't go any worse). I hadn't had Domino's pizza in years, probably when I was in college. I think it's safe to say I will never have Domino's again.

Owen from Fat City helped us out on this one by purchasing all of the food and giving us access to the Pitch offices to eat. Owen decided not to get more than one of the pizzas and added in the penne and cheese bread bowl. Had I been carrying a shiv, I would have shivved him in the upper thigh. I knew I was in trouble when the very sight of the bread bowl made me gag. I had Owen place a trash can near me in case it was needed.

I waded into the water and tried the Memphis barbecue pizza chicken first thinking how bad could the pizza be. It was the best part of the meal which is the only positive thing I can say about it. The chicken on the pizza tasted like the chicken that died for this pizza spent his life smoking cigarettes and getting punched. I couldn't even chew it. As Owen and I were throwing pieces of semi chewed pizza in the trash can one of the other Pitch employees asked us if food reviewers regularly spit the food out so they can eat more. We both replied that we do only when the food is repulsive. I thought I could eat the whole piece if I picked the chicken off. I gave it a valiant effort but about halfway in I had to toss the rest. I think I maybe swallowed one bite.

I then jumped into the deep end and tried the penne and cheese bread bowl. How bad could penne and cheese be you ask? Pretty goddamned bad. The pasta was flavorless and the cheese was revolting. The bread was basically covered in garlic salt and I've enjoyed licking a salt lick more than I enjoyed eating that bread. I lasted one bite.

So, we had one pizza and one bread bowl and six people. We had about 1/2 of the bread bowl and 3 pieces of pizza left when we were done. If each of us were to rate the meal on a scale of 1-10, the cumulative total probably wouldn't break double figures.

I didn't know how to feel about this, I was confused, bewildered, scared, nauseous and angry. You ever watch America's Funniest Home Videos (AFV, for those of us in the know)? There's always a clip of some dummy falling on an entertainment center or table or shed and breaking it and to most people it's kind of funny. But, to me, in my head, I'm thinking these people have to go out and buy a new entertainment center or table or shed. I wonder where they'll get the money, it doesn't look like they can afford it. It's one of the few things I haven't been able to shake from growing up, where if we broke something in the house, we just did without that item. So after eating that bread bowl I was thinking about some poor family that doesn't get to eat out or have restaurant food very often. I thought about them ordering this and having to throw it away because it was just awful. It makes me feel bad just knowing that that happens. I'm just amazed that Domino's would even serve the bread bowl, it's not subjectively bad, it's objectively bad. I don't think it's possible that someone could enjoy it.

But there is a silver lining in that cloud. After eating the penne and cheese bread bowl, I've been unable to eat anything. I've almost vomited 4 or 5 times thinking about it. Nothing sounds good to eat. Seeing food makes me nauseous. I'm absolutely starving, but I don't envision me eating anytime soon. I'm going to lose 10 pounds out of this deal. I just hope I can drive home without passing out.

Give us this day our daily bread bowl

2009-06-30T12:07:00.006-05:00

Yesterday, the KC Hot Beer Blog sat down to break a bread bowl in the Fat City. To be honest, I walked into the experience fearing one thing while leaving completely devastated by another.

My posts on this blog and any picture you might see of me provide enough for you to know that I do not live a healthy lifestyle. I'm under 30 and have gout. I know I need to make changes in my life and what I eat, but have never cared enough to put in a serious effort. I got married. I had a daughter. I ate roughly 10 foods on a stick in front of them less than a month ago. It was probably going to take a serious illness to make me change my ways until yesterday. Yesterday I saw death, and it was a Domino's Bread Bowl.

Don't let the heavenly aura fool you

This 3-cheese pasta bowl would be better labeled as a crime against humanity. If you have eaten a whole one of these and/or enjoyed it, you are the fattiest of fatties and have no taste buds or regard for your own life. The food scientists at Domino's should be criminally charged. I firmly believe they must be foreign because no American would have the level of desire to kill their own countrymen as the people who designed this.

It's pasta inside of bread. It's covered in nacho cheese and topped with two types of shredded cheese to give the baked macaroni & cheese look. With the nacho cheese, I wonder why they stopped at two carbs rather than three. Maybe a nice crumbling of tortilla chips to add some crunch. The chip shards could cut open the esophagus of the fatties eating it and kill them faster.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one there who didn't spit out all or a portion of the bread bowl. I was graced with the overwhelming urge to vomit for about a half an hour shortly after eating it. It effectively ruined my evening and possibly food in general for the rest of my life.

Yummo Tacos

2009-06-26T14:17:00.006-05:00

I noticed as I was walking about the Power & Light district today that the Yummo soup sign said that they were no longer serving Souperman soups at the Yummo store (both places owned and operated by Rob Dalzell). It also advertised $2 FroYo ($3.50 with toppings) apparently abandoning the pricing by the pound which usually resulted in me having $3.75 FroYo. They also had a sandwich board out front that advertised Korean bbq tacos 2/$2. I was shocked I didn't see the modern day Tom Joad, Meesha, inside eating Korean bbq tacos (if there's something free, Meesha will be there, if there's something severely discounted, Meesha will be there).

I had various lunch thoughts in my head before I saw that sign. They were all abandoned immediately and I headed into Yummo. Rob was manning the counter. I ordered the tacos and chose the short rib meat option (pork and chicken? were the other 2 options). Rob turned around and started to prepare my tacos. Since Rob and I are old buddies I made some small talk asking why they abandoned the soup. Rob said it was too hot for soup and then he confirmed my suspiscions when he said "I have to find a way to pay Cordish rent". He was hoping to be able to sell the tacos to the drunk late night set.

As any restaurant watcher knows, when a restaurant starts abandoning concepts and trying new specials and menu items, the restaurant is probably in trouble. I've been to Yummo maybe 20 times and walked by it over a hundred times and I would guess that I've seen a customer in there 1% of the time. They may get quite a bit of business with the later night crowd, but if they're open during the day, I would think they would have customers every once in a while.

As for the tacos, they were pretty good. $2 for a somewhat filling lunch is unheard of in this day and age. The sausage carts around the Sprint Center cost $3 for a hot dog. The tacos are definitely the better option. They come with some kind of tortilla, not the same as tortillas you usually see, but tasty nonetheless. I got a generous spoonful of short rib meat and it was topped with some form of asian slaw with onions, carrots, radishes and purple cabbage. Each taco was topped with a white sauce that I can't name but it was tasty. The whole dish was quite good and had a fair amount of spice. If I had had 5 beers, I might say this was a perfect taco, but since I didn't I would point out that it was a little salty. The tacos were full of flavor though and for $2 I would recommend them. I find it hard to pick nits on a food that cost me pocket change.

You should give Yummo a try for both the yogurt and the Korean barbecue tacos. If you don't do it soon, though, they may be gone.

UPDATE: Apparently this taco deal is developing. They are only offered on Tuesday through Friday and may be 3 for $2 when you go. Blog pal Meesha has pictures and his own korean taco story here. Mention the KC Hot Blog or KC With a Russian Accent when you get your tacos and you'll get.. well you'll get nothing, but it would be nice to mention us.

El Pollo Rey

2009-06-09T14:47:00.004-05:00

You owe the folks at El Pollo Rey an apology. Yes, you. Why, you ask? Well let me tell you utilizing a little tool called bullet points.

Because you haven't eaten there
Because you have wanted chicken and gone elsewhere
Because you're still not considering eating there
Because you've gone further for lunch
Because you have a favorite chicken place and it's not El Pollo Rey
Because you've eaten at Arby's, Long John Silvers, McDonalds or Taco Bell since May Day
Because you think grilled chicken couldn't possibly be better than fried
Because you've spent more than $7 on a lunch this month
Lastly, because you're going to finish reading this before you eat there. I'll wait for you to go. Go ahead...you're going to like it. I'll be here when you get back.

Your car smells great now doesn't it? I told you you'd like it.

In case you didn't go yet let me convince you. El Pollo Rey is a grilled chicken place at 1101 Kansas Ave in Kansas City, KS. It's ridiculously easy to get to, Kansas Ave. is one of the main streets of KCK (and only 10 minutes from downtown). I found it without knowing the address, it only took me a glance at Google Maps to determine the location.

You'll go in and be a little confused because a menu or menuboard will not be found. Just know, they have 2 menu items, whole chicken dinner and half chicken dinner. They may have a 3rd choice of 6 wings but I don't read Spanish so I can't be sure what the piece of paper I saw said, but I would guess it said 6 wings. The half chicken dinner costs $6.50 exactly and contains a leg, wing, thigh and breast. I don't know how much the whole bird costs but I would guess it would be under $13.

The place consists of a counter, a wood burning grill, a cooler full of Jarritos and Mexican Coke (Coke with cane sugar instead of corn syrup) and about 5 tables. You order your meal, and if you're like me, that will be the only English you hear in your time at El Pollo Rey. They have a soccer game on the TV and Mexican music playing on the radio. This is nothing to be concerned about, it's a sign of quality.

The grill guy will throw your chicken into a styrofoam container while the counter guy gathers your rice, beans, tortillas, hot sauce and pickled red onions (they may not be pickled but they were in a plastic bag with some sort of liquid and tasted like they were pickled) and puts them in your bag. You then go on your way and enjoy the smell in the car on the way to your eating destination.

At your eating destination you will eat the best chicken you can get in KC. I ripped mine off the bone and put it in one of the tortillas and added some of the pickled onions. I wraped it up a little and dipped in the salsa making a fabulous little grilled chicken taco. The tortillas are obviously freshly made, I'm unsure if El Pollo Rey makes them or has them delivered from one of the tortilla places all along Kansas Ave. It doesn't much matter because they're fresh and fabulous. The rice is a run of the mill Spanish rice which was good, but nothing special. The beans had bits of bacon and sausage in them and were a nice side with the chicken. The salsa was great and I found myself wanting more to dip my 2 leftover tortillas into.

The pieces of chicken aren't that big so it's not a problem to eat all 4 pieces. I thought going in that I would have my lunch and dinner for the $6.50 but that wasn't the case. I'm not complaining because every bite of the chicken carried the grilled flavor that I don't think could happen with a plumper chicken. The 4 pieces made for the perfect amount of lunch.

Now get out of here and go get you some, you won't be sorry. Make sure you take some cash because they don't take the plastic.

Elbow Ice Cream

2009-06-05T15:14:00.002-05:00

I'd been waiting in anticipation for 24 hours (since I read about it on Fat City) to get my hands on some Christopher Elbow strawberry balsamic ice cream. Stella was equally excited, aww who am I kidding, she was much more excited.

Lucky for me I got to leave work a couple of hours early today so I could drive over to Elbow instead of walking 6 blocks to sample some ice cream and bring home my pint. Unfortunately, they aren't giving samples today, they're not really well set up for it. So I only got to pick one flavor of the 12 or so they had. Normally in this kind of weather I would want something in the sorbet realm, I had my eye on the pineapple cilantro, but they were sold out of it plus all but one of the other sorbets. I really only had the choice of 6 or 7 flavors of ice cream.

I was torn between the Vietnamese cinammon and the fleur de sel caramel. I went with the fleur de sel caramel and I must say I can't imagine that being a wrong choice. It's simply wonderful. The caramel flavor is perfectly mixed in and does not overpower. It's just a wonderful ice cream.

They are only selling it until they run out and since they're out of half the flavors already I wouldn't expect it to last long. You'd better get over there quickly or you'll have to wait until next Friday as Christopher Elbow is only going to be selling ice cream on Fridays and Saturdays (I don't think they'll have too much ice cream left on Saturdays).

Death by Food: Longboards Chuck Norris

2009-05-19T13:17:00.009-05:00

I'll just go ahead and declare myself a whore for Longboards. It's been one of the few perks of having a job north of the river. The specialize mostly in California wraps, which basically seem to be Asian themed Chipotle-ish burritos. I usually either go for the Pork Luaua if I want something sweet or the Wow! Kung Pao for a kick of heat. That was until I discovered the Cabo Dog aka Chuck Norris...

Please forgive the crappy camera phone picture

When I had this the first time a few months back, it was called the Cabo Dog. Then they ran out of hot dogs. When I went in today, I saw it on the special menu re-branded as the Chuck Norris. Not only is the new name epic, you can choose to either go with the Ranger Chuck (chipotle ranch) or Delta Force (barbecue sauce). From what I remember, the Chuck Norris includes: a whole hot dog, chili, Fritos, rice, guac, jalapenos and I want to say there is some salsa, cheese and sour cream in there as well. Basically, it's all my culinary dreams wrapped into a tortilla and grilled on a panani machine.

Ballpark, I would say it is about 9 to 10" long. Cutting it in half still constitues more than you should eat in one meal. It's a beast. A delicious, spicy, Frito-pie-filled, encased meat beast of a wrap. If I went on dates with food, Chuck Norris would get to home plate on the first. The name of this wrap is pretty fitting, because I'm not sure who is going to be able to kick Chuck Norris's ass for the top spot in KC foods that will kill you.

Harold's Through the Looking Glass

2009-05-13T15:00:00.005-05:00

You have a song that kind of takes you back to a time and place immediately? A song you really liked and can link to 5 or 6 fun memories from the past? You probably have 5 or 6 of those kinds of songs. When I hear the song “Brandy (You're a fine girl)” by Looking Glass. It takes me back to high school and college when I ate at a diner called Livingston's twice a week, sat in cars with my friends and drank in parking lots before we went to high school events and singing karaoke at Heroes on Friday nights (Brandy was and is my go to karaoke song). Go ahead and play the video while reading.

I only mention this because I went to Harold's Drive In on Admiral Boulevard for lunch today and I thought of the song “Brandy” while I was watching my burger (I got the single cheeseburger) being cooked on the griddle right behind the counter. You see, Harold's reminded me a whole lot of Livingston's, and not just because they have fried cauliflower on the menu.

Harold's is different in that it doesn't have any tables to eat at, hence the term drive-in, I suppose. You order from the counter, they only take cash, and your food is served to you in a paper bag. They may as well tell you to scram after you get your order.

But, Harold's is the type of place where they remember your name, when you were last there and what your likely order is going to be. It felt like a place I'd been to a hundred times over, like Livingston's. The customers were decidedly blue collar, paint specks could be seen on some items of clothing, one guy was wearing his orange road crew vest. I felt a bit overdressed and I wasn't even wearing socks.

My order of a single cheeseburger and fried cauliflower was around $5.40. The Harold's special (double cheeseburger, fries and medium soda) will set you back around the same amount after tax. For the big fellas in the audience, you can get a triple, fries and soda for $6.75.

The service was friendly, but not overly so. I think if I went back a couple more times over the next couple of weeks I would know all 4 ladies' names and they would all know mine. At about 10 visits I might be able to enter into a conversation about post menopause hot flashes with them (if I were so inclined).

My burger was pretty good, not something that would make a top 10 burgers in KC list, but for the $2.25 it costs, it could be in the conversation of top 10 burger bargains. The standard dress of the burgers is lettuce, tomato, onion and mustard. I got mine with only lettuce and onion and used some habanero ketchup I have in my office. The onions have a nice dice and add a lot of flavor, you definitely know they're there. The lettuce is shredded and doesn't offer much of anything of value.

The cauliflower was very good, but not the best I've had. I'm pretty sure it was frozen, but it wasn't like most of the frozen cauliflower you get at restaurants around town. It had a different type of breading, more a beer batter than fried cauliflower usually has. I don't know if they bread their own and freeze it or not. If you're a fan of fried cauliflower it is definitely worth the trip to Harold's to check it out. I'm glad my pals at the Mid-America Regional Council told me about it.

I almost forgot, as I walking out of Harold's Drive In with my grease stained carryout sack in hand, “Brandy” came on over the speakers. I didn't even notice music playing while I was waiting.

How Not to Order a Burger

2009-05-06T10:31:00.002-05:00

Now, I'm not terribly impressed with this Obama dude, but I've always had a respect for him. That is until I found out he ordered his hamburger medium well. Who does that at a fine hamburger establishment? It really is just beyond the pale. Is it so hard to order a hamburger correctly? Apparently it is for Obama. I'm not sure this is an impeachable offense, but as of now, I've got my eyes on you Obama.

The Internet Food Association has a nice summary of opinions from some of the greatest bloggers around.

Tickled by a Pickle

2009-04-22T13:49:00.003-05:00

I know of no way to say this clean, so I'm just going to go ahead and put it out there. I have the biggest pickle to give my daughter when I get home (I also picked up a mask for her at the Earth Day Event).

After my work pals and I went over to the Power and Light Earth Day event, we decided to hit up the Marquee Bar and Grill in the Mainstreet AMC. Wednesdays are half price burger days so I had a chance of getting a good burger downtown for under $10, not an easy feat since there aren't any fast food burgers downtown.

I was a bit taken aback at the ritziness of the Marquee B&G. The waiters and waitresses were dressed like waitresses at a white tablecloth restaurant and the dining room definitely looked like a formal restaurant. It was a very nice looking place. I guess if you're charging $10.50 for a burger you have to offer some degree of formality. I'd like to see how formal it seems when some douche, after a long night of boozing up Bud Lights in the bottle, wanders over from McFadden's at 2 in the morning and throws up all over his $9 biscuits and gravy (the Marquee has a late night menu and they are open until 4 AM).

Once we were seated our waitress informed us that Wednesday is also half price beer day. Woohoo! I'm not usually one for a lunchtime beer, but for half-price I might be persuaded. As I looked for something that noted what they had on tap, I noticed my boss sitting at the next table. I told my work pals “I guess I won't be having a beer after all” (not that my boss would care in any way whatsoever).

I ordered the burger they call the Swope, which is a burger “grilled to perfection” with blue cheese crumbles and bacon. I almost got the one with a fried egg, the McGee, but I didn't want to take the chance with them putting mushrooms on it, even if I ordered it without. We had already been in the restaurant for 15 minutes and service seemed slow, I didn't want to wait for them to make me another burger.

After another 15 minute wait our burgers arrived and they were monsters. But, they were the least impressive thing on the plate. The pickles were clearly the stars and probably what The Marquee wants to be known for. You know the whole pickles you get at a fair or carnival. These pickles are like that only they are cut in half and twice as long. Like The D, I don't care much for pickles, but one of my daughters loves them so I saved it to take home to her.

Also accompanying the burger was a generous portion of waffle fries. I could even see specks of Kosher salt on virtually every one. I'm not a fan of the waffle fry in general, but these were very good. They had a nice crunch and plenty of flavor which doesn't usually happen with waffle fries. The burger was very big with lettuce, onion and tomato on the side. They didn't overdo it with the blue cheese which I appreciated. I only got 2 thin slices of bacon on the burger and they were too long so I ripped them in half and it appeared that I had 4 regular slices of bacon.

I'm not going to rave about the burger. It was pretty good. If I had paid the $10.75 list price, I'd be looking for a refund, but for $5.50 or so, it was perfectly reasonable. I don't think the Swope will be on too many KC top ten burger lists but it's not an embarrassment. In fact, I will say that the blue cheese really added something which I don't usually find with blue cheese. It was a nice accompaniment for the burger, I'm glad I didn't sub out for provolone like one of my friends did. In fact, with the ability to sub out the blue cheese there is no difference between the Pendergast and the Swope other than bacon. So if you do the math, Marquee Bar and Grill prices their bacon at 25 cents. But on the late night menu, a side of bacon costs $5. I don't know, I find that interesting.

I would not recommend eating at the Marquee unless you're extremely wealthy OR are there on a half price burger day. I would also not eat there if I were in a hurry as our lunch took an hour and 15 minutes. But it is a nice looking place and the food is pretty good especially if you like pickles.

Update: If you go to the Marquee Bar and Grill website and sign up for the newsletter, you will get an email within 10 minutes offering you a free happy hour.

Please come and have a FREE happy hour party with as many guests as you can bring on Friday, April 24th! We will offer you two different times: 6pm or 8pm!

Starting at the time you choose, you and your party will drink the happy hour specials all night long!! You will drink the happy hour specials for FREE for two hours!!! Your guests will drink only $3 domestic draft beers, $4 wells, and $5 house wines. If you bring at least 10 people, you will receive two free appetizers for you and your whole party! Once 8pm or 10pm rolls around (depending on what time your party is) you will join the rest of your party and drink happy hour prices for the rest of the night!

Get Off My Menu!

2009-04-16T09:30:00.007-05:00

I went to pick up my tax day bounty at Chick-fil-A yesterday. The tax day deal was whatever you bought on tax day you can get again for free sometime in May as long as you keep your receipt. I got a couple of value meals for Stella and the kids and a 12 pack of nuggets for myself. Now if I can keep from misplacing my receipt for a couple of weeks we can go back for a free meal.

As I was standing in line in the store (remember, I don't go through drive-thrus) I was looking at the menu board. I was kind of interested in getting a value meal for myself but I hate waffle fries so I was looking for a substitute. Then I saw perhaps the grossest thing I've seen on a menu board, a carrot and raisin salad. I don't like carrots and I'm ambivalent about raisins, but the two in combo seem unconscionable. Not only is it listed on the menu board which is gross enough, but in today's America we have to have pictures of everything. So, not only did I have to read about it I had to see a picture of something that was indistinguishable as a picture of carrots and raisins in salad form. I don't even know why they bother with the picture because any illiterate isn't going to know what it is anyway.

Also on the Chik-fil-A menu board is a chicken salad sandwich, an item I would never order. I've never had chicken salad, I have never even thought chicken salad was a good idea. But, I understand people may like it. However, the picture they use on the menu board almost makes throw up in my mouth. Does it have to look so gross? It's like seeing the stars without makeup feature in US magazine (you know you look). Sure I can see celebrities all made up but that doesn't mean we should publish them, I'm still traumatized by a Renee Zellweger picture I saw while waiting in line at Osco in 2005.
Maybe next Chick-fil-A can hang some large still pictures from Cakefarts or 2 Girls, 1 Cup to get my appetite up.

Just an aside, after I placed my order I heard the guy in the next line tell the Chick-fil-A counter guy that he read about the free deal on a blog. He then went on to tell some agonizingly long story that bored everyone who may have heard it. Just because I'm a sucker for market research, I asked the guy what blog he read about the deal on. He told me he read it on friend o' Hot Blog, Fat City. So I told him I was Owen, the author of the post, and asked him if he might be willing to come back to my place for a drink and a backrub. Luckily he declined, because I didn't really want to oil up his (presumably) hairy back. But I think I sent the message I wanted.*

*Only part of that story is true.

Re-stacking the Domino's

2009-04-15T22:23:00.003-05:00

By now you have no doubt read the story and/or seen video of inbred Domino's employees snotting some cheese and farting on salami. Honestly folks, you have already digested worse if you eat fast food. Just be happy most of the workers are so poor they can't afford cameras to tape what they do to your food.

I just wanted to write a post thanking those employees who do get paid squat and don't ejaculate in my food. It's a thankless job, and there are plenty of good people out their grinding to get the customer exactly what they want. The whole thing reminds me of something my brother recently showed me about a Domino's order. It's kind of old, but if I missed it, maybe you did as well.

Basically, this guy tries out Domino's online ordering system and finds an option where you select your toppings per left or right half. As if the employ is actually going to pay attention to the orientation of your toppings when they box it up. The best part comes later when he discusses the option to select 'none' for cheese and sauce. He orders a "none pizza with beef left" and sure enough that's what he got. I can only imagine what the Domino's employee was thinking as he created that gift to mankind. I crack up every time I see the picture. It's definitely worth checking out if you've never seen it before.

Death by Food: Clarette Club Reuben Rolls

2009-04-15T09:18:00.005-05:00

Death by Food is a running list of the top ten edible items in Kansas City that may possibly kill you during consumption. The higher the ranking, the more likely you should throw caution to the wind.

The Clarette Club is a bar and game hall located at 5400 Martway St. in Mission, KS. I would never recommend actually going here with the sole purpose of eating. Do you want to play some pool? Awesome place. Want to drink some cheap beer? Go for it. Thinking about cruising by for dinner? Think again.

My first and only trip to the Clarette came during the Mission Twittical Pub Crawl. Clarette was the second to last stop, and an afternoon of heavy drinking coupled with a new found interest in food exploration had me willing to go half on an order of Reuben Rolls. For those not in the know, a Reuben is a sandwich comprised of corned beef, Swiss cheese, sauerkraut and dressing on rye bread. It might look like the monstrosity to the right. Before Mission Twittical, I had successfully avoided putting any food-related item named Reuben into my mouth.

The Reuben Rolls at the Clarette Club look like this:

My first guess would be deep-fried, microwave burritos. The thought of eating a Reuben in this form made it more palatable in my drunken state. I avoided the dressing and went straight for a half of a roll. It was sort of like the child who grabs onto the side of a hot barbecue grill without considering that it might be dangerous. A hot lava tasting like Swiss cheese erupted into my mouth. The burning sensation and fried tortilla goodness really aided in helping me ignore the fact I was eating corned beef. I don't recall any sauerkraut flavor notes, which was probably for the best. I'm tempted to say they weren't half bad, but there is no way I would ever eat them while sober. But if you happen to love Reubens and cheap beer while playing a game of pool, I suggest you head down to Mission ASAP.

In summary, we have a deep-fried tortilla filled with cheese and meat accompanied with a side of Thousand Island. If that's not a enough for you, be sure to quickly dive in for a chance at second degree burns to your mouth and throat. Twice the death still isn't enough to get around the Gut Bomb, and these Reuben Rolls will enter at number two.

Yo Mochi

2009-04-06T22:07:00.012-05:00

This weekend marked the grand opening for local frozen yogurt shop Mochi-Yo in the OneNineteen Shopping area in Leawood, KS. If you missed the coverage in most of the local papers and related internet sites, you probably did not miss the guerrilla marketing campaign that saw nightmare inducing, life-sized mochi balls hitting the streets around 119th & Roe. Seriously, I thought I was tripping balls in the middle of the afternoon with some sort of Dig-Dug flashback.

To celebrate their opening, Kirk Goza and Wes Bergmann decided to treat the entire city to a free serving of their product on Saturday or Sunday. Free tasters were passed out in the line (which was pretty short and fast moving when I showed up Saturday afternoon) and each person was given a full cup of one of the four flavors covered in all the toppings they desired.

From what I understand, they will regularly feature an original flavor along with a green tea and then have two flavors that alternate. For the opening, the two flavors were green apple and blueberry. I took a taster of the green apple, which was very green apple-y and then went with the blueberry for my full sample. Blueberry with mochi balls and Fruity Pebbles. Not really sure why I failed to snap any pictures of my creation, but it was beautiful and delicious. Mochi is not something I have had before in any form, so I wanted to give the topping a shot since it is in the name. The best way to describe them is gummi in consistancy but flavored like marshmallow. They went quite well with the blueberry.

My wife went with the green tea, which I can't say I cared for much. Of the three flavors of yogurt I tried, I would definitely rate them from best to worst as blueberry, green apple and then green tea. The wife got strawberry mochi balls, which are also down on my list. It seemed like the strawberry in the mochi brought out the rice flavor a lot more. There are also green tea mochi balls, but I think I'll stick with the original.

The Mochi-Yo facility itself was decorated nicely. Bright colors. Small interior like you see at most ice cream places. The design definitely sets it apart from the competition though. There were plenty of employees on hand for the opening event, and all of them were extremely nice and helpful. Someone got us pointed to the correct end of the line. Another took down our personal info with the promise of free birthday yogurt. Others discussed the product with us while we waited in line.

If you're still not sure if Mochi-Yo is something worth your time, I humbly submit this review by my 11-month old daughter.

So You're Telling Me There's a Chance

2009-04-01T19:56:00.001-05:00

Joyce Smith is reporting that Trader Joe's is interested in opening in Kansas City, they just need to find the right location. This is certainly good news for those of us who really enjoy Trader Joe's.

Also, kudos to the KC Star for actually breaking a news story, no matter how insignificant. It just goes to show that newspapers aren't dead...yet.

Gusto Busto

2009-04-01T15:58:00.005-05:00

After reading the KC Beer Blog recap of a Schlitz event at Harry's Country Club, I decided to check out a similar event at the Red X in Riverside, MO, this afternoon. I showed up about 10 minutes after the scheduled 2:30 start and was greeted by this:

That would be a table with about 6 bottles of Schlitz on ice, some display 6-packs and a bunch of plastic cups normally reserved for free food samples at Sam's Club. I waited around a bit, checking out the selection of beers for something I wanted to try, and hoping something would develop other than the sausagefest of desperate men looking for a free beer fix that was materializing before me. Eventually some guys in Schlitz jackets, who are known as Gusto Guys, showed up with some local talent in retro skank outfits.

Rather than the free pints handed out at Harry's Country Club, the folks in attendence were treated to limited shots of the new old formula Schlitz beer. Red X management made sure at one point to tell the Schlitz girls to only pour as people come up so people don't just keep drinking the samples. Overall, the event was pretty awful. I got a sticker, bottle opener and talked to somebody about becoming a Gusto Guy and getting free Schlitz.

There were also no parking issues at the Red X due to Schlitz cars. Having a huge parking lot, I imagined this stop would be the best place for them to spread the cars out for people to look at. Schlitz and/or Red X did not feel the same way.

This flaming PT Cruiser was the only hotrod in the parking lot before and after I left the location. If there is one thing Riverside has displayed to me, it's an affinity for PT Cruizers with cheap graphics. I'm thinking it might belong to the gentlemen with the Confederate Flag bandana and braided goatee who posed for a picture with the Schlitz girls. If not, it was probably the guy in the motorized cart who had one of the girls bring him over some samples.

The final event in KC is going on right now at Dirk's Bar off of I-29 & Barry Road. If you went or plan on going, hopefully you can score some free pints outside of a grocery store setting. I will be spending the rest of my evening enjoying the O'Fallon variety pack I picked up.

Shoving Meat in Padma's Mouth

2009-03-26T19:16:00.002-05:00

Apparently I'm not the only one who likes a lot of meat in my mouth. Padma from Top Chef really seems to be enjoying the Western Bacon Thickburger from Hardee's in this commercial.
On a related note, this burger looks pretty good; bacon, onion rings, cheese and hamburger with barbecue sauce. Follow the link for a $1 off coupon.

Create Your Own Donut

2009-03-26T17:10:00.004-05:00

Unfortunately, since we don't have a Dunkin' Donuts in KC I would have to travel to taste my donut, a pumpkin dough, maple filled, white icing with graham crumble. I'm sure I'm going to win the $12K. You can enter too, though it will be a waste of your time. I'm sure I can come up with something incorporating raspberry that would be better than this, my first stab at it.

Adam's Rib

2009-03-26T13:00:00.002-05:00

After reading JJS' great review of Adam's Rib on their opening day yesterday, I knew I was going to have to go today for my barbecue Thursday. I got there a little after noon and was impressed that the parking lot was almost full. I'll bet the Overland Park City Hall workers have been impatiently waiting for the place to open. When I walked in I noticed that the dining room had a good number of people already seated and eating.

I walked up to the counter to place my order and was greeted by the counter worker raising her arm up as to give me a high five. I was concerned about what my next step was going to be. Was she going to give me a high five because I was the best looking customer so far (not likely), because of my sweet Irish flat hat or because of my Ireland track jacket or simply because that is the way Adam's Rib was going to welcome customers? Any of the 4 was possible but I have a pretty strict no high five rule, leaving people hanging be damned. Luckily, the high five didn't play into my dining experience, she was just raising her arm to direct me to the other register where they take your order. Her register was to take your cash. It's a system used by Oklahoma Joe's in Olathe for reasons that are unclear to me, who has never worked in a restaurant. But the layout of Adam's Rib pretty much directs customers to the wrong register. And the mistake is multiplied by the horrible 2 seconds where I had to comtemplate a high five.

I ordered a regular pulled pork sandwich and fries, my standard barbecue order. They have some compelling sides, notably the cheesy corn bread, but for a first time I stick to the basics. I then went back to the high five lady and paid her my $7.50 (approximately). She told me it would be up in a couple of minutes so I wandered around a bit. I noticed they had Pepsi products in the fountain (clearly an inferior choice), but did have Strawberry soda as a selection. Strawberry or Orange soda is a necessity in a barbecue restaurant's fountain selection.

I ran out of things to walk around and look at so I sat down at the nearest open table (I ordered my food to go). They didn't really have a good place for people waiting on carryout orders to wait. This shouldn't be a problem, but it took an awful long time to put my pulled pork sandwich together, they may have been waiting for the fries. When it was ready, it was not in a to go container and I had to tell them (for the 3rd time mind you, I told the lady who took my order, the lady I paid and again now) that this was to go. They then boxed it up quickly. I had to ask for a couple of extra sauces, they gave them to me and I was on my way.

When I opened the box I was immediately impressed by the amount of meat in the bun. The last time I saw this much meat in some buns, Rocco Siffredi was involved. Also included was a large amount of fries. The fries are the standard potato press kind with a little bit of peel on the corner pieces. They were cooked nicely with a good crisp outside, but they didn't have an abundance of flavor. Nothing wrong with them, but it's probably safe to opt for a different side. The pork was super juicy with very little of the burnt end parts of the pork. It was definitely a lot more juicy than Oklahoma Joe's but doesn't have quite the flavor. Also because of the lack of the burnt parts, the sandwich had a bit of a texture problem, it was a little too soft, like eating wet bread, really great tasting wet bread, but wet bread nonetheless. It was a solid sandwich, texture notwithstanding. The flavor could have been enhanced a little more with a good sauce. Unfortunately, Adam's Rib doesn't have a very good sauce. It's like a sweet version of Bull's Eye (is Bull's Eye even around anymore). A good vinegar based sauce would put the pulled pork sandwich over the top if they would toast the bun a little. I would almost prefer the sandwich without the sauce, with only a sprinkle of the rub over the pulled pork. I don't know, the pork was missing just a little bit of flavor and the sauce wasn't good enough to bail it out.

Overall, I was pretty happy with my lunch. For a little over $7, I got a generous amount of meat that I enjoyed putting in my mouth (a deal that can't be beat in any rest area) and a good amount of fries. I just wish I could have loved one of the items. The service was extremely friendly, almost over the top and their enthusiasm certainly made up for any mistakes they made in preparing my order. You should give it a shot.

Bourbon, Bacon and Maple

2009-03-24T10:08:00.002-05:00

It looks like I have something to make this week, Maker’s Mark Ice Cream with a Maple Caramel Swirl and Candied Bacon Bits. It seems to have quite a few steps but can easily be broken into small parts. I think it will be worth it, who doesn't want to combine bourbon and bacon with a bit of maple goodness.

This is a multi-step, two day process, so be sure to allot enough time!

INGREDIENTS

For the ice cream custard:
3 tablespoons salted butter
3/4 cup (packed) brown sugar
2 3/4 cup half-and-half (make sure the kind you get has no added carrageenan)
5 large egg yolks
1/4 cup Maker’s Mark bourbon
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 teaspoons molasses

For the maple caramel swirl:
pinch sea salt
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup water
7 tablespoons heavy cream (again, no added carrageenan)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

For the candied bacon bits:
5 slices thick-cut, applewood smoked bacon (I got mine at Berkeley Bowl, yum)
1/3 cup sugar
Parchment paper (or a brown paper bag)

Day 1:

Make the bacon bits:

1. Cut the raw bacon into 1cm squares — cutting each strip in half lengthwise, and several times crosswise.
2. In a heavy skillet over med-high heat, cook the bacon bits until slightly crisp but still a bit chewy, being careful to not burn or overcook them.
3. While the bacon is cooking, prepare a plate with paper towels on it to drain the bacon, and lay out a piece of parchment paper for the candied bacon.
4. Place bacon bits on paper towel to drain; pat off excess fat. Pour off fat from pan and save it for some other tasty treat.
5. Pour 1/3 cup sugar into a small heavy saucepan. Over low to medium heat, melt the sugar just until all the crystals are dissolved and the sugar syrup looks homogeneous. Be careful as you’re doing this; sugar melts slowly but burns quickly — keep heat lower rather than higher. As soon as sugar has dissolved, immediately add the bacon bits and stir to cover. Place bacon bits on parchment paper and separate from each other. (There may be a better way to do this, like to dip each bacon bit individually, or add them in small batches, or pour the sugar over them, or something. I haven’t tried it.)
6. Allow bacon bits to cool on the parchment.

Make the maple caramel swirl:

1. In a heavy saucepan, boil sugar, maple syrup, and a pinch sea salt over moderate heat, stirring, until sugar is dissolved. Boil mixture, without stirring, gently swirling pan, until it is a deep golden caramel color. (Note: this is difficult to tell with the maple syrup. A candy thermometer might help, but I couldn’t tell you what temperature to bring it to.*)
2. Remove pan from heat and carefully pour cream and vanilla down side of pan (mixture will vigorously steam and caramel will harden). Simmer mixture, stirring, until caramel is dissolved. Remove pan from heat and cool caramel. Caramel swirl may be made 1 week ahead and chilled, covered. Bring to room temp before using (heat slightly if too stiff to pour).

*I added the cream too soon, so I just continued boiling the mixture until it was the correct thickness. I tested thickness by dropping a bit of it on a cool plate and letting it cool to room temp. Then I ate it.

Make the ice cream custard:

1. Pour half of the half-and-half (about 1 and a little more than 1/3 cup) into a large bowl and set it in an ice bath.* Set a mesh strainer over the top of the bowl.
2. In a separate bowl, lightly whisk together 5 egg yolks.
3. Melt 3 T butter over low heat in a heavy, medium sized saucepan. Stir in the brown sugar and the other half the half-and-half and whisk it till the brown sugar is somewhat dissolved. Heat just to warm, and keep a close eye on it. Too hot, and the half-and-half will curdle and you will have to start over.
4. Gradually add the warm brown sugar mix to the eggs, whisking constantly as you pour. Pour the entire mixture back into the sauce pan.
5. Cook over low to moderate heat, constantly stirring and scraping the bottom with a heatproof spatula, until the custard thickens enough to coat the spatula.
6. Strain the custard into the half-and-half, stirring over the ice bath until cool.* Add the 1/4 cup bourbon, 1/4 teaspoon vanilla, and 1 1/2 teaspoon molasses. Stir till well mixed.
7. Place in sealed container and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled. Overnight is best — it allows the flavors to really mix.
8. Make sure your ice cream maker’s bowl is in the freezer so that it’s frozen by the next day.

*Note: I skipped the ice bath because I didn’t have any ice, and it worked fine.

Day 2

Putting it all together:

1. Pull the caramel swirl out of the fridge and bring it to room temp.
2. Put together the ice cream maker, turn it on, and pour in your ice cream custard. Freeze in the ice cream maker for 1/2 hour, at least, until it’s nearly doubled in volume and seems as frozen as it’ll get. It will still be soft — home made ice cream needs to go into the freezer for a few hours to really set.
3. Working quickly, stir in the bacon bits while the ice cream is still in the frozen bowl. In a few smaller containers (I used margarine containers), put down a layer of ice cream. Add a layer of caramel swirl. Add another layer of ice cream, then another layer of caramel swirl, then another layer of ice cream. Put the lids on and place ice cream in freezer to finish freezing.

YOU’RE DONE! Lick the bowls, if you’re not already sick to your stomach from having done just that for 2 days in a row! ;)

Hat tip to Radley Balko.