Thanksgiving - Going Rogue

To me Thanksgiving is a pretty horrible holiday. Sure it's nice to have a couple of days off and see family and such but the actual meal is awful. I don't mean this to be an attack on those who have prepared my Thanksgiving meals over the years, I mean it to be an attack on the food.

First off, turkey is horrible. It doesn't much matter how it's prepared, it's dry and pretty tasteless. I know, I know, you have a recipe that makes it good, or you fry it and it's wonderful. That's all bull, turkey sucks, you know it and I know it. Why don't we have duck or goose or even chicken if we must eat a bird. Turkey is food for people on a diet, not for celebratory eating.

Not only is turkey horrid, most home cooks aren't properly prepared to cook it right. So you have already stressed home cooks trying to cook some fowl meat that is naturally devoid of fat/flavor. Gee, thanks, that sounds great. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if turkey was any good, you'd make it at home more than once a year.

Perhaps because turkey is so hard to do right or because of the sheer volume of food that is needed, the rest of the meal is like a Sandra Lee show gone horribly wrong. How many cans of food must be killed every Thanksgiving before the carnage ends? Thanksgiving sucks because it's casserole friendly. There's sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, broccoli casserole or any number of other casseroles. All these casseroles have 2 things in common, canned/frozen vegetables and cream of mushroom soup. I don't have much against canned or frozen vegetables, fresh is of course better, but frozen cauliflower or corn or whatever is sometimes the better option. Cream of mushroom soup, however, is never acceptable. It's a deal breaker for me and it's a part of way too many casseroles.

Casseroles are also pot luck and travel friendly so guests can bring someting to Thanksgiving so the host doesn't do all the cooking. Say it with me, casseroles aren't the answer. What casseroles are, is gross. Just the sight of 9 out of 10 casseroles makes me sick. Is a dinner where I'm going to have to pass something that the mere sight makes me throw up in my mouth sound like fun to you? Me neither.

Nearly every Thanksgiving I've been to, I've only been able to eat two or 3 of the menu items. And that's only if there's ham. I usually end up eating rolls and mashed potatoes. If you're unlucky enough to have to travel to a Thanksgiving or hosting your own, you then have to eat leftover turkey and casserole for the next 3 days. It sucked on Thursday, it's going to be 75% worse by Saturday.

My solution to all of this is simple. Pare the meal down, way down. Dump the turkey, make a roast or a ham. Try to make a fresh vegetable, like a ratatouille, sauteed cauliflower, steamed broccoli or something like that. A macaroni and cheese or cheesy potato dish that can be made ahead of time is another nice side dish. If you feel like you still need mashed potatoes or stuffing go ahead and add them too. That's about it other than the bread. All of the creamy side dishes should go by the wayside. It's all just too much and needless. Your host wants to enjoy everyone's company as well so let them by not expecting 10 dishes. My guess is that more food gets wasted on Thanksgiving than any other day of the year and it's wasted because it's gross.

The only other thing to make the day go better would be to dump the Lions from the traditional Thanksgiving day football game and schedule the previous year's Superbowl winner on that day instead. That way we have a better shot at seeing a good football team play. I'd prefer to get rid of the Cowboys too, but over the past 20 years they've been pretty good most years.

This should go without saying, but drink good beer or wine on Thanksgiving. Splurge and buy a couple of Smokestack series beers to take to your host's house instead of a casserole. Go ask your local wine merchant what wine you should be serving at Thanksgiving and get a couple of bottles of each or ask your guests to bring their choice from a list of 5 or 6 wines.

I'm probably never going to get rid of my annual date with green bean casserole, turkey and Detroit Lions football, but a boy can dream. I just have to focus on the good things about the holiday, good beer and my family, and enjoy my long weekend.

Happy Thanksgiving? In my mind there's no such thing.

Breakfast Wars

For those of you not living on the outskirts of the Kansas suburbs, you probably aren't aware of the war being waged at 151st & Metcalf. Last Thursday, Dunkin Donuts opened their first new location since exiting the KC metro many years ago. Since I live 50 blocks from there and work even farther, I made no effort to make to their hoopla that was extensively covered on Twitter as well as via radio, newspaper, etc.

So on Saturday I decided to make the trip south after dropping off some recycling. For some reason, I thought the line wouldn't be as bad mid-Saturday morning after being open for 3 days. I was wrong.


I just went through the completely vacant Hardee's drive-thru to enjoy the best fast food breakfast available. This is especially true since they brought back hash rounds as a choice over country potatoes. This is the view from my crappy cell phone camera as I exit Hardee's. Lots and lots of little heads floating if you squint.

While I was expecting that there could be a line at Dunkin, I was not expecting an onslaught of McDonald's mascots offering free food.


What is a cinnamon melt? What in the hell is Grimace? Why are they standing in front of Taco Bell? The McDonald's is to the right. Another two McDonald's employees and the Hamburglar were working the previous corner. As for the cinnamon melts? Pretty glad I didn't stop.

Get Your Groupon

Until a matter of minutes ago, I really had no idea what Groupon was, but they have opened a Kansas City chapter starting today. The basic premise is that they offer some sort of deal where you pay x to get larger amount y. The catch is that the deal only kicks in when z amount of people buy in. It seems like a pretty good idea since they actually give you incentive to bug the crap out of your friends, and I would hope it is something that involves mostly local places.


The first Groupon is for Woodyard Bar-B-Que and nets you $15 worth of food for $7. You can purchase into it anytime today up until midnight, and enough people have bought in already that you will get the deal. If this isn't the deal for you and you don't want to visit the site every day, it looks like they have a Twitter account setup.

What I really like about the Groupon site is that they give some great info on the place from local blogs. It looks like they might just be raping UrbanSpoon's content, but it's nice that they throw that info in for easy access and credit local bloggers.

Mi Ranchito Vindicated

The KC Star is reporting that two people have been charged for putting pesticide in the salsa of Mi Ranchito's 95th & I-35 Location. Prosecutors allege that the husband and wife did it out of spite after being let go by the restaurant.

This has to be great news for the owners of Mi Ranchito. Hopefully this should spike their business back up, although we drove by the location on several locations and it was still packed while the situation was under investigation.

Cheese for Crackas

If Applebee's, TGI Friday's, Mimi's and Houlihan's weren't enough for you, get ready residents of Lenexa and the greater KC area. That's right, they torn down a Firestone outside of Oak Park Mall and moved it 2 blocks down the street so they could open a Cheddar's!!!


To be honest, I've never eaten at a Cheddar's. Aside from possibly hearing the name in passing, I have no idea what it might be. But one look at their menu shows that it is the next restaurant right by my house that I'll never eat at. At least when TGI Friday's runs out of mozzarella sticks, you'll only have to walk across the parking lot rather than across the street to get your fix.

A couple interesting facts from the Cheddar's website. Apparently they don't advertise. They also want you to be as serviced and comfortable as possible while you're inside their walls. While I'm not interested in eating at Cheddar's, I may not be opposed to some romantic involvement.